Friday, September 30, 2005
Special note....this is a work in progress. But I wanted ot post it now, while there was a chance for some people to read it, instead of later. The last section will be updated as the day goes on.
Song of the day:
I get angry too
Well, I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
and don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'Cause even if you're wrong...
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
and I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own
I'll stand by you...
-Pretenders. Dedicated to those having a darkest hour in MN.
Random Picture of Claudia Molina
Today in history:
In 1777, the Congress of the United States — forced to flee in the face of advancing British forces — moved to York, Pa.
In 1791, Mozart's opera "The Magic Flute" premiered in Vienna, Austria. Hey, I've got one of those!
In 1846, dentist William Morton used ether as an anesthetic for the first time on a patient in his Boston office.
In 1905, 100 years ago, British director Michael Powell ("The Red Shoes") was born in Bekesbourne, Kent, England.
In 1938, British, French, German and Italian leaders decided to appease Adolf Hitler by allowing Nazi annexation of Czechoslovakia's Sudetenland.
In 1946, an international military tribunal in Nuremberg, Germany, found 22 top Nazi leaders guilty of war crimes.
In 1949, the Berlin Airlift came to an end. Berlin ultmately proved too heavy to lift, and was told to lose some weight before tehy could try again. Instead, Berlin gorged on struedel. BUt not the music group Berlin.
In 1954, the first atomic-powered vessel, the submarine Nautilus, was commissioned by the Navy.
In 1962, black student James Meredith succeeded on his fourth try in registering for classes at the University of Mississippi.
In 1955, actor James Dean, 24, was killed in a two-car collision near Cholame, Calif.
In 1993, an estimated 10,000 people were killed when an earthquake measuring a magnitude of 6.4 struck southern India.
Today's birthdays:
Actress Deborah Kerr is 84.
She's the one on the top, here...
Actress Angie Dickinson is 74.
Actress Monica Bellucci is 37.
UH...I have no idea what this is suggesting. Really.
I am fairly sure what this is suggesting though. Really.
Actress Jenna Elfman is 34.
Sure she's crazy. BUt her feet are currently going in different directions...the work is already half done. I'm just saying.
Tennis player Martina Hingis is 25.
Note the cap...and she's only 25. Why the hell does POrtland NOT have a ladies tennis competition?!
Olympic gold medal gymnast Dominique Moceanu is 24.
Given the choice between gymnast or tennis player, which way do you go? I suppose it's not much of a choice...it's the gymnast just about every time. Forget I even asked the question.
Actress Lacey Chabert is 23.
Shakespeare quote of the day:
"I am not of that feather, to shake off my friend when he must need me"
Tim of Ath, Act i, Sc.1
Word of the Day:
capacious \kuh-PAY-shuhs\, adjective:
Able to contain much; roomy; spacious.
For example, your writer's pants need to be capacious in the basket area for him to be comfortable. (Because really tight blue jeans are harder to stuff with sock rolls.)
Note to Tori Alamaze:
Yes, I DO wish my girlfriend was hot like you.
Yes, I even wish she was a freak like you.
Maybe even raw like you.
And quite possibly that she was fun like you.
But here's where I need to correct you...
I don't HAVE a girlfriend right now. So if you wanna fill the void, I can return the favor and fill yours.
And don't pretend to go get all indignant or shocked that I'd say such a thing, because I've got Sophie Hawkins over here swearing in frustration at wanting to be my lover. So it's not like I don't have a little bit of demand for my own product, if you know what I mean.
Bailey's Birthday:
So for Bailey's birthday, I couldn't afford to do much. So we headed down to a park locally, and spent the day together, just her and I. We had a picnic and then walked along the river, just her and I. We played and talked, and I don't know that I remember a time when I enjoyed those simpler pleasures more.
Later, we went and got her sisters, and then came home to make her a cake. But not just any cake...she wanted a pink cake. So we added some food dye to her vegan vanilla cake, and baked it up, and applied some pink frosting to it, and had more pink than....well, there was just a lot of pink, ok?
It's a little girl cake. For a pretty little girl.
3 years old is a great age, because their personality is starting to take hold, and you can start to see the type of person that they will be. The basic building blocks are starting to settle in, giving the rest of her personality a place to perch. And from waht I have seen, she is a girl of fragile confidence (so far), but with a stern independence, and a great goofiness that brings a smile to my face every day.
She has her mother's beauty, and my....well, I don't know. My eyebrow, I suppose.
3 years old. Man, what a ride those 3 years have been.
Eastside representin', yo.
It's also worth noting that she reminds me in ways of others never far from memory.
This is Ryan Swanson. Some of you have known me to write about him before. I knew him for only a short time, but it didn't take much time for me to learn how brilliant of a mind he had. Let me put it this way...Ryan was the type of guy who made me feel like a complete fraud; that as smart as I was, I was only pretending compared to his level of intelligence. He was the genuine article. And a prince of a guy, as well. Considerate, well-mannered, articulate, literate, eloquent...the true paragon of animals.
Ryan had developed a tradition, shall we say, of flashing crypic hand signs to our friend, Elissa. It just fit into his sense of humor perfectly.
At his funeral, his sisters talked about what a great brother he was, and what he had meant to them. It was precious to see another side of this person that I greatly respected, and didn't have an oppurtunity to know better. And though our time shared was short, he impacted my life profoundly. He made me appreciate even more what I had, because he wouldn't get the chance to have children.
There are times I wish I could talk to his parents...let them know how I felt, and how much I miss him. Let them know that he hasn't been forgotten. To let them know how wonderful a person he was to those whom he had only briefly touched with his life. I suspect they know, though. I don't think they know of me or this site. Not knowing how they would handle some of the content here, I don't know how they would feel with my association with him. But I have no regrets about my wish and desire to call him a friend...and to dearly wish he was around even now.
Ryan worked with me in an office back in MN. That office was SUPPOSED to stay open until today, but I have recieved word that they closed it down a day early. There are so many people I worked with there that are now searching for employment elsewhere...and if you are one of them, I hope that you would honor us with a report of where you are at, what you are doing, and what you plan on doing...let us know how you're doing, and what we can do to help. So many people came and went in that department...Lawrence passed away from cancer shortly before we lost Ryan. Others left at the company's uh, request. Ty. Peter. Evan D. A very very good friend in Dan F. and Kurt.
And then there are those who stayed on until the end. Larry. Don R. (Making love to you was never 2nd best.)(No, not really.) Michelle. Kenny and Dennis...
There are times when you watch people make decisions that you know will hurt themselves, but you are powerless to stop them. All you can do is shake your head, and brace for the impending destruction. I think I may have written that before, but it's true. certainly here. The people above are the victims of someone else's murder-suicide business decision. And then there are others who are left to try to keep a pulse in the rapidly fading patient, like our own E, and Russ. (Incedentally, both update readers...send them your prayers during the difficult transition.)(OH, and Russ? If you have been paying any attention, I have been pith-poor at picking football games...of COURSE the Broncos won on Monday.I picked against them. )
YOu haven't been forgotten friends. You are still thought of, and prayed for.
A toast to all of you. And another for dear departed friends.
Anna's birthday:
If you leap awake
In the mirror of a bad dream
And for a fraction of a second
You can't remember where you are
Just open your window
And follow your memory upstream
To the meadow in the mountain
Where we counted every falling star
I believe the light that shines on you
Will shine on you forever
And though I cant guarantee
There's nothing scary hiding under your bed
I’m gonna stand guard
Like a postcard of a Golden Retriever
And never leave till I leave you
With a sweet dream in your head
I'm gonna watch you shine
Gonna watch you grow
Gonna paint a sign
So youll always know
As long as one and one is two
There could never be a father
Who loves his daughter more than I love you
Trust your intuition
It's just like going fishing
You cast your line
And hope you get a bite
But you don't need to waste your time
Worrying about the market place
Try to help the human race
Struggling to survive it's harshest night
I'm gonna watch you shine
Gonna watch you grow
Gonna paint a sign
So you'll always know
As long as one and one is two
There could never be a father
Who loves his daughter more than I love you
I'm gonna watch you shine
Gonna watch you grow
Gonna paint a sign
So you'll always know
As long as one and one is two
There could never be a father
Who loves his daughter more than I love you
Portland Radio scene review:
Ok, I have been in this area for roughly a little over a month now. IN that amount of time, I have searched for a radio station worth listening to. Now, to be fair, I have always been a bit of a channel changer. I flip until I find a song that I like, and will stay with that station until some song offends my ears. But even by those standards, Portland radio tastes like as-terisk.
There are 2-3 country stations, 30,000 Christian rock stations, a couple of hip-hop stations....and that's about it. there's NPR, which is fine for more mellow moods, but the rest of it is hit and miss for quality music. And I don't kow if this is an issue anywhere else, but can we please play a song other than farking "Listen to your heart"?! Don't tell me you haven't heard this song. It was originally a Roxette song, and it's not like this new DHT version is a major improvement.
Bonus song of the day:
Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.
They're swept away and nothing is what is seems,
the feeling of belonging to your dreams.
Listen to your heart
when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.
And there are voices
that want to be heard.
So much to mention
but you can't find the words.
The scent of magic,
the beauty that's been
when love was wilder than the wind.
Listen to your heart
when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.
SPORTS SECTION
NFL preview, Week 4:
Buffalo at New Orleans
(San Antonio, TX) 1:00 p.m.
JP Losman is still their QB. Nuff said.
Winner: New Orleans Saints, in their first "home game".
Denver at Jacksonville 1:00 p.m.
Despite last monday night, I still don't believe in Denver. Especially on the road. Especially against a decent team like the Jags.
Winner: Jacksonville Jaguars
Detroit at Tampa Bay 1:00 p.m.
Well, the trendy pick is Tampa Bay. Works for me.
Winner: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Houston at Cincinnati 1:00 p.m.
Houston used to be on the rise, but not any longer. They've regressed. The Benals are on a tear, so...
Winner: Cincinnati Bengals
Indianapolis at Tennessee 1:00 p.m.
This used to be a great matchup, but now, the titans don't have enough to be really competitive.
Winner: Indianapolis Colts
San Diego at New England 1:00 p.m.
San Diego is a good solid team, but it's the Patriots, so no sense going against them.
Winner: New England Patriots
Seattle at Washington 1:00 p.m.
When Seattle wins, it's because the other team is struggling. The Seahwaks themselves aren't in synch themselves. The Washington offense isn't perfect, but it'll be enough to beat teh Seahawks.
Winner: Washington.
St. Louis at N.Y. Giants 1:00 p.m.
This game used to be an annual game that you looked forward to. It seems as though all of hte old fmailiar faces that made the Rams the highest scoring offense have all withered to almost nothing. I'll take the Giants at home, for no other reason.
Winner: New York Giants
N.Y. Jets at Baltimore 4:05 p.m.
The Jets signed colorblind Vinny Testeverde. Again. This guy was playing back in 1990. I don't know what Baltimore has anymore, but it'll be enough to be the Jets.
Winner: Baltimore Ravens
Dallas at Oakland 4:15 p.m.
I would LOOOOVE to see Randy Moss' new team go almost winless. (I want Chicago to have the 1st pick next year to get the newest franchise QB Matt Leinert, instead of the almost destined possibility that he becomse a Raider with a downfield threat like Moss and Porter waiting for him in the NFL. For the Bears sake, Leinert needs to be a Bear.) Dallas Wins this game.
Winner: Dallas Cowboys
Minnesota at Atlanta 4:15 p.m.
The Vikings beating up on an exhausted Saints doesn't prove to me that their problems are fixed. Mike Vick may still be injured, but he'll be enough for the Vikings to find a way tolose. I'll say the Falcons by a field goal in OT. Because there is history there.
Winner: Atlanta Falcons
Philadelphia at Kansas City 4:15 p.m.
Possibly the best game on the docket. I'm torn, because I'd like to take the upset and say that KC bounces back after that bad monday nihgt loss. But without Willie Roaf and a better offensive line for the Chiefs, I gotta go with Don Henley and the other stiffs.
Winner: Philadelphia Eagles
San Francisco at Arizona
(Mexico City) 8:30 p.m.
So I got this piece of spam mail the other day. It was offering me financial help. But the subject title read "Matt service available."
Oh, you have NO idea.
So let me get this straight. We want to promote the game to the Mexicans, so we send them the 49ers and the Cardinals? Ugh.
Winner: Arizona Cardinals. loser? The mexican people. They're a blighted community already, for pete's sake! Well, Pedro's sake, then.
Monday, Oct. 3 Green Bay at Carolina 9:00 p.m.
The demise of the green Bay Packers. Oh, how I hope it unfolds as it has in my mind.
Winner: Carolina Panthers
Song of the day:
I get angry too
Well, I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
and don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'Cause even if you're wrong...
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
and I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own
I'll stand by you...
-Pretenders. Dedicated to those having a darkest hour in MN.
Random Picture of Claudia Molina
Today in history:
In 1777, the Congress of the United States — forced to flee in the face of advancing British forces — moved to York, Pa.
In 1791, Mozart's opera "The Magic Flute" premiered in Vienna, Austria. Hey, I've got one of those!
In 1846, dentist William Morton used ether as an anesthetic for the first time on a patient in his Boston office.
In 1905, 100 years ago, British director Michael Powell ("The Red Shoes") was born in Bekesbourne, Kent, England.
In 1938, British, French, German and Italian leaders decided to appease Adolf Hitler by allowing Nazi annexation of Czechoslovakia's Sudetenland.
In 1946, an international military tribunal in Nuremberg, Germany, found 22 top Nazi leaders guilty of war crimes.
In 1949, the Berlin Airlift came to an end. Berlin ultmately proved too heavy to lift, and was told to lose some weight before tehy could try again. Instead, Berlin gorged on struedel. BUt not the music group Berlin.
In 1954, the first atomic-powered vessel, the submarine Nautilus, was commissioned by the Navy.
In 1962, black student James Meredith succeeded on his fourth try in registering for classes at the University of Mississippi.
In 1955, actor James Dean, 24, was killed in a two-car collision near Cholame, Calif.
In 1993, an estimated 10,000 people were killed when an earthquake measuring a magnitude of 6.4 struck southern India.
Today's birthdays:
Actress Deborah Kerr is 84.
She's the one on the top, here...
Actress Angie Dickinson is 74.
Actress Monica Bellucci is 37.
UH...I have no idea what this is suggesting. Really.
I am fairly sure what this is suggesting though. Really.
Actress Jenna Elfman is 34.
Sure she's crazy. BUt her feet are currently going in different directions...the work is already half done. I'm just saying.
Tennis player Martina Hingis is 25.
Note the cap...and she's only 25. Why the hell does POrtland NOT have a ladies tennis competition?!
Olympic gold medal gymnast Dominique Moceanu is 24.
Given the choice between gymnast or tennis player, which way do you go? I suppose it's not much of a choice...it's the gymnast just about every time. Forget I even asked the question.
Actress Lacey Chabert is 23.
Shakespeare quote of the day:
"I am not of that feather, to shake off my friend when he must need me"
Tim of Ath, Act i, Sc.1
Word of the Day:
capacious \kuh-PAY-shuhs\, adjective:
Able to contain much; roomy; spacious.
For example, your writer's pants need to be capacious in the basket area for him to be comfortable. (Because really tight blue jeans are harder to stuff with sock rolls.)
Note to Tori Alamaze:
Yes, I DO wish my girlfriend was hot like you.
Yes, I even wish she was a freak like you.
Maybe even raw like you.
And quite possibly that she was fun like you.
But here's where I need to correct you...
I don't HAVE a girlfriend right now. So if you wanna fill the void, I can return the favor and fill yours.
And don't pretend to go get all indignant or shocked that I'd say such a thing, because I've got Sophie Hawkins over here swearing in frustration at wanting to be my lover. So it's not like I don't have a little bit of demand for my own product, if you know what I mean.
Bailey's Birthday:
So for Bailey's birthday, I couldn't afford to do much. So we headed down to a park locally, and spent the day together, just her and I. We had a picnic and then walked along the river, just her and I. We played and talked, and I don't know that I remember a time when I enjoyed those simpler pleasures more.
Later, we went and got her sisters, and then came home to make her a cake. But not just any cake...she wanted a pink cake. So we added some food dye to her vegan vanilla cake, and baked it up, and applied some pink frosting to it, and had more pink than....well, there was just a lot of pink, ok?
It's a little girl cake. For a pretty little girl.
3 years old is a great age, because their personality is starting to take hold, and you can start to see the type of person that they will be. The basic building blocks are starting to settle in, giving the rest of her personality a place to perch. And from waht I have seen, she is a girl of fragile confidence (so far), but with a stern independence, and a great goofiness that brings a smile to my face every day.
She has her mother's beauty, and my....well, I don't know. My eyebrow, I suppose.
3 years old. Man, what a ride those 3 years have been.
Eastside representin', yo.
It's also worth noting that she reminds me in ways of others never far from memory.
This is Ryan Swanson. Some of you have known me to write about him before. I knew him for only a short time, but it didn't take much time for me to learn how brilliant of a mind he had. Let me put it this way...Ryan was the type of guy who made me feel like a complete fraud; that as smart as I was, I was only pretending compared to his level of intelligence. He was the genuine article. And a prince of a guy, as well. Considerate, well-mannered, articulate, literate, eloquent...the true paragon of animals.
Ryan had developed a tradition, shall we say, of flashing crypic hand signs to our friend, Elissa. It just fit into his sense of humor perfectly.
At his funeral, his sisters talked about what a great brother he was, and what he had meant to them. It was precious to see another side of this person that I greatly respected, and didn't have an oppurtunity to know better. And though our time shared was short, he impacted my life profoundly. He made me appreciate even more what I had, because he wouldn't get the chance to have children.
There are times I wish I could talk to his parents...let them know how I felt, and how much I miss him. Let them know that he hasn't been forgotten. To let them know how wonderful a person he was to those whom he had only briefly touched with his life. I suspect they know, though. I don't think they know of me or this site. Not knowing how they would handle some of the content here, I don't know how they would feel with my association with him. But I have no regrets about my wish and desire to call him a friend...and to dearly wish he was around even now.
Ryan worked with me in an office back in MN. That office was SUPPOSED to stay open until today, but I have recieved word that they closed it down a day early. There are so many people I worked with there that are now searching for employment elsewhere...and if you are one of them, I hope that you would honor us with a report of where you are at, what you are doing, and what you plan on doing...let us know how you're doing, and what we can do to help. So many people came and went in that department...Lawrence passed away from cancer shortly before we lost Ryan. Others left at the company's uh, request. Ty. Peter. Evan D. A very very good friend in Dan F. and Kurt.
And then there are those who stayed on until the end. Larry. Don R. (Making love to you was never 2nd best.)(No, not really.) Michelle. Kenny and Dennis...
There are times when you watch people make decisions that you know will hurt themselves, but you are powerless to stop them. All you can do is shake your head, and brace for the impending destruction. I think I may have written that before, but it's true. certainly here. The people above are the victims of someone else's murder-suicide business decision. And then there are others who are left to try to keep a pulse in the rapidly fading patient, like our own E, and Russ. (Incedentally, both update readers...send them your prayers during the difficult transition.)(OH, and Russ? If you have been paying any attention, I have been pith-poor at picking football games...of COURSE the Broncos won on Monday.I picked against them. )
YOu haven't been forgotten friends. You are still thought of, and prayed for.
A toast to all of you. And another for dear departed friends.
Anna's birthday:
If you leap awake
In the mirror of a bad dream
And for a fraction of a second
You can't remember where you are
Just open your window
And follow your memory upstream
To the meadow in the mountain
Where we counted every falling star
I believe the light that shines on you
Will shine on you forever
And though I cant guarantee
There's nothing scary hiding under your bed
I’m gonna stand guard
Like a postcard of a Golden Retriever
And never leave till I leave you
With a sweet dream in your head
I'm gonna watch you shine
Gonna watch you grow
Gonna paint a sign
So youll always know
As long as one and one is two
There could never be a father
Who loves his daughter more than I love you
Trust your intuition
It's just like going fishing
You cast your line
And hope you get a bite
But you don't need to waste your time
Worrying about the market place
Try to help the human race
Struggling to survive it's harshest night
I'm gonna watch you shine
Gonna watch you grow
Gonna paint a sign
So you'll always know
As long as one and one is two
There could never be a father
Who loves his daughter more than I love you
I'm gonna watch you shine
Gonna watch you grow
Gonna paint a sign
So you'll always know
As long as one and one is two
There could never be a father
Who loves his daughter more than I love you
Portland Radio scene review:
Ok, I have been in this area for roughly a little over a month now. IN that amount of time, I have searched for a radio station worth listening to. Now, to be fair, I have always been a bit of a channel changer. I flip until I find a song that I like, and will stay with that station until some song offends my ears. But even by those standards, Portland radio tastes like as-terisk.
There are 2-3 country stations, 30,000 Christian rock stations, a couple of hip-hop stations....and that's about it. there's NPR, which is fine for more mellow moods, but the rest of it is hit and miss for quality music. And I don't kow if this is an issue anywhere else, but can we please play a song other than farking "Listen to your heart"?! Don't tell me you haven't heard this song. It was originally a Roxette song, and it's not like this new DHT version is a major improvement.
Bonus song of the day:
Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.
They're swept away and nothing is what is seems,
the feeling of belonging to your dreams.
Listen to your heart
when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.
And there are voices
that want to be heard.
So much to mention
but you can't find the words.
The scent of magic,
the beauty that's been
when love was wilder than the wind.
Listen to your heart
when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.
SPORTS SECTION
NFL preview, Week 4:
Buffalo at New Orleans
(San Antonio, TX) 1:00 p.m.
JP Losman is still their QB. Nuff said.
Winner: New Orleans Saints, in their first "home game".
Denver at Jacksonville 1:00 p.m.
Despite last monday night, I still don't believe in Denver. Especially on the road. Especially against a decent team like the Jags.
Winner: Jacksonville Jaguars
Detroit at Tampa Bay 1:00 p.m.
Well, the trendy pick is Tampa Bay. Works for me.
Winner: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Houston at Cincinnati 1:00 p.m.
Houston used to be on the rise, but not any longer. They've regressed. The Benals are on a tear, so...
Winner: Cincinnati Bengals
Indianapolis at Tennessee 1:00 p.m.
This used to be a great matchup, but now, the titans don't have enough to be really competitive.
Winner: Indianapolis Colts
San Diego at New England 1:00 p.m.
San Diego is a good solid team, but it's the Patriots, so no sense going against them.
Winner: New England Patriots
Seattle at Washington 1:00 p.m.
When Seattle wins, it's because the other team is struggling. The Seahwaks themselves aren't in synch themselves. The Washington offense isn't perfect, but it'll be enough to beat teh Seahawks.
Winner: Washington.
St. Louis at N.Y. Giants 1:00 p.m.
This game used to be an annual game that you looked forward to. It seems as though all of hte old fmailiar faces that made the Rams the highest scoring offense have all withered to almost nothing. I'll take the Giants at home, for no other reason.
Winner: New York Giants
N.Y. Jets at Baltimore 4:05 p.m.
The Jets signed colorblind Vinny Testeverde. Again. This guy was playing back in 1990. I don't know what Baltimore has anymore, but it'll be enough to be the Jets.
Winner: Baltimore Ravens
Dallas at Oakland 4:15 p.m.
I would LOOOOVE to see Randy Moss' new team go almost winless. (I want Chicago to have the 1st pick next year to get the newest franchise QB Matt Leinert, instead of the almost destined possibility that he becomse a Raider with a downfield threat like Moss and Porter waiting for him in the NFL. For the Bears sake, Leinert needs to be a Bear.) Dallas Wins this game.
Winner: Dallas Cowboys
Minnesota at Atlanta 4:15 p.m.
The Vikings beating up on an exhausted Saints doesn't prove to me that their problems are fixed. Mike Vick may still be injured, but he'll be enough for the Vikings to find a way tolose. I'll say the Falcons by a field goal in OT. Because there is history there.
Winner: Atlanta Falcons
Philadelphia at Kansas City 4:15 p.m.
Possibly the best game on the docket. I'm torn, because I'd like to take the upset and say that KC bounces back after that bad monday nihgt loss. But without Willie Roaf and a better offensive line for the Chiefs, I gotta go with Don Henley and the other stiffs.
Winner: Philadelphia Eagles
San Francisco at Arizona
(Mexico City) 8:30 p.m.
So I got this piece of spam mail the other day. It was offering me financial help. But the subject title read "Matt service available."
Oh, you have NO idea.
So let me get this straight. We want to promote the game to the Mexicans, so we send them the 49ers and the Cardinals? Ugh.
Winner: Arizona Cardinals. loser? The mexican people. They're a blighted community already, for pete's sake! Well, Pedro's sake, then.
Monday, Oct. 3 Green Bay at Carolina 9:00 p.m.
The demise of the green Bay Packers. Oh, how I hope it unfolds as it has in my mind.
Winner: Carolina Panthers
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Week 3 NEFL preview:
Ugh. What I would give to have another 24 hours to do all the things I want to do.
Correction. To do the things I WANT to do, I'm gonna need at least 2,3, maybe 4 months. And an endless supply of chocolate. And a tarp. And the Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleaders.
But as it is, I made a commitment to get my NFL picks out earlier, and I blew right past that, and here we are on Sunday, and I haven't the time to put it all together. So very quickly, I will give yo my favorites. Based off of last week, you can stop reading right this very moment, because I would have better luck picking out rotton apples from a tree.
Atlanta at Buffalo
I thnk we all know how I feel about the future of JP Losman, by now.
Winner: Atlanta Falcons
Carolina at Miami
Miami still doesn't have a great offense, and it's not going to be great against a gereat defense.
Winner: Carolina Panthers
Cincinnati at Chicago
Chicago doesn't have it this week, after everyone building them up to be division winners.
Winner: Cincinnati Bengals
Cleveland at Indianapolis
I'm not going to even bother with this, but a big thanks to the Browns for aking care of Green Bay.
Winner: Indianapolis Colts
Jacksonville at N.Y. Jets
hell, I don't know. How's that for insight for you!
Winner: Winner Jacksonville Jaguars
New Orleans at Minnesota
I have no reason to pick Minnesota, other than every time I do, they lose. good enough for me.
Winner: Minnesota Vikings. (wink wink)
Oakland at Philadelphia
Lord, they'll need 2 stadiums to hold the egos of Moss and Owens.
Winner: Philadelphia Eagles
Tampa Bay at Green Bay
Dog pile on Brett!
Winner: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Tennessee at St. Louis
Titans inspired but lacking in talent. Rams=vise versa.
Winner: St Louis Rams
Arizona at Seattle
Seattle wins because I don't want Denny Green to.
Winner: Seattle Seahawks.
Dallas at San Francisco
San Fransisco has nothing. Dallas has to make up for Monday night.
Winner: Dallas Cowboys.
New England at Pittsburgh
Whoa ho ho! Now here's a game. Wish I had toime to analyze it.
Winner: New England Patriots
N.Y. Giants at San Diego
Dog pile on Heather!
Winner: the dog pile. And the Chargers, what the hell.
Monday Night Football
Kansas City at Denver
Denver is the new Bengals.
Winner: Kansas City Chiefs.
Ugh. What I would give to have another 24 hours to do all the things I want to do.
Correction. To do the things I WANT to do, I'm gonna need at least 2,3, maybe 4 months. And an endless supply of chocolate. And a tarp. And the Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleaders.
But as it is, I made a commitment to get my NFL picks out earlier, and I blew right past that, and here we are on Sunday, and I haven't the time to put it all together. So very quickly, I will give yo my favorites. Based off of last week, you can stop reading right this very moment, because I would have better luck picking out rotton apples from a tree.
Atlanta at Buffalo
I thnk we all know how I feel about the future of JP Losman, by now.
Winner: Atlanta Falcons
Carolina at Miami
Miami still doesn't have a great offense, and it's not going to be great against a gereat defense.
Winner: Carolina Panthers
Cincinnati at Chicago
Chicago doesn't have it this week, after everyone building them up to be division winners.
Winner: Cincinnati Bengals
Cleveland at Indianapolis
I'm not going to even bother with this, but a big thanks to the Browns for aking care of Green Bay.
Winner: Indianapolis Colts
Jacksonville at N.Y. Jets
hell, I don't know. How's that for insight for you!
Winner: Winner Jacksonville Jaguars
New Orleans at Minnesota
I have no reason to pick Minnesota, other than every time I do, they lose. good enough for me.
Winner: Minnesota Vikings. (wink wink)
Oakland at Philadelphia
Lord, they'll need 2 stadiums to hold the egos of Moss and Owens.
Winner: Philadelphia Eagles
Tampa Bay at Green Bay
Dog pile on Brett!
Winner: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Tennessee at St. Louis
Titans inspired but lacking in talent. Rams=vise versa.
Winner: St Louis Rams
Arizona at Seattle
Seattle wins because I don't want Denny Green to.
Winner: Seattle Seahawks.
Dallas at San Francisco
San Fransisco has nothing. Dallas has to make up for Monday night.
Winner: Dallas Cowboys.
New England at Pittsburgh
Whoa ho ho! Now here's a game. Wish I had toime to analyze it.
Winner: New England Patriots
N.Y. Giants at San Diego
Dog pile on Heather!
Winner: the dog pile. And the Chargers, what the hell.
Monday Night Football
Kansas City at Denver
Denver is the new Bengals.
Winner: Kansas City Chiefs.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Response to comments made thus far for recent columns:
Joel H stated "Well, considering I really like the Buffalo Bills, and I have already slammed a Summit Oktoberfest, know nothing of football (that is the oblong ball that's brown right?)I have to disagree with you. The fact is, it is Dallas and I have never liked them. More to the point, I just wanted you to know I was reading this and think you should continue writing. Book someday? I need another beer...."
After this past week of picks Joel, alot could be said that I know nothing of football, either. That said, i think finally understand your beer hobby. Since you claim to be a Bills fan though not completely sure of your own football knowledge, you must at least know that they don't have a great history of Winning Super Bowl games. That would cause any fan to drink heartily. Add to this knowledge the fact of Buffalo's other main export : Buffalo wings. Which goes perfectly with a good beer. It's amazing how much I still learn about you after all this time. Do me a favor and knock back one of those oat-beer things we had last time...you know the one so dark and thick, I thought it was Star Jones?
Oh, I KNOW he didn't just say that...oh HELL no!
Now, most people are goping to read this and think that I'm mocking it, but I'm not in anyway. It was a fantastic beer, and I nearly squealed in delight at the sight of it glopping into the glass, as though it were mud or sludge of some kind. I had halfway hoped I would get to chew my beer. Why was I excited at an idea that makes other reel back in revulsion? Same reason some people see Courney Love and think she's anything more than a talentless skank... there aren't rules to this thing called life, ya know. Just a few commonly held beliefs we all cling to and hope others follow our example.
(Reading the mind of the man in the background...Damn! That sh*t is whack!
There aren't rules to this thing called life, ya know. Just a few commonly held beliefs we all cling to and hope others follow our example.
If you don't have it handy though, Joel, throw down one of those Chocolate beers, or whatever else you have in the house, I suppose. I'll grab a Pyramid if I can find one,a nd toast you about 9pm your time. And if you do the same, why, it will almost be like we're drinking together. Just don't do anything around 12:30am your time, cause that'd just be awkward and uncomfortable.
I am glad to see that you are still reading it though...I was resigned in my own noggin that you wouldn't, and all of this was passing you by on it's way to Milwaukee, Chicago, Ann Arbor, Detroit, and all stops beyond. I don't pretend that it means much to anyone beyond those that know me...and even to those that do, I am sure they'd remove parts that frankly bore them to tears. (I have known to get windy on such matters.) because of that, there are no plns for a book. The only reason that I have this is that I am free to publish what I want, because its free! You get what you pay for. I also have a worrysome thought that I have become some sort of blog version of "Penhouse"....sure there's articles and stuff, but noone every ReALLY buys it for the articles. it may get perused during rest breaks, but the articles are fluff, a nd he pictures is where it makes it's money. If that is true...don't tell me. I can't bear the thought of all the time I have put into this for it to be ignored in favor of the eye candy.
As such, there are no current plans for a book. You flatter me to suggest it, and I thank you for thinking so much of my meager talents. But what skill I have in writing would quickly be dismissed, I think, in the literary world. How much of a following would I have if people didn't know me? Who would publish me? It is one thing to write a blog; quite another to think of yourself as a competant writer capable of a book.
That said, there was talk at one time of a compilaion effort between I and another artist. They were to provide me pictures, and I was to set the words to the pictures. The other artist and I have since gone in different directions, and the idea set aside for now. This idea still intruiges me, and should it develop in time, I will assuredly let you know. In the meantime, I will work on honing my craft, and do what I can to strengthen my abilites so that when the time DOES come, I will be ready.
To pass the time, feel free to stop by anytime to take a look around and comment whenever the mood strikes you.
Other comments have been made recently as well...
"Who doth bash my beloved Cowboys???? IS that JOELLE??? The mighty, mighty Hollander lady????
Ok, that was me.....Joelle.....
# posted by Elissa : 7:08 PM"
It wasn't Joelle, E. It was the Washington Football team located in Washington DC that bashed your Cowboys. But you get credit to owning up to the original statement, so I'll go easy on you. You have to admit, however, that your Cowboys hardly reminded anyone of the halcyon days of Troy Aikman on Monday...
Courtesy Brooks Ayola....great camera work can be found here...
(No no no..you don't even have to say it. You're welcome, E.)
The Joelle thing though...taht's ust mean and funny at the same time. We need ot know if Joel has bothered to share that with his current co-workers.
BTW, Mr H., you may find new co-workers there at your new company. You may find better, more intelligent co-workers htere. they may develop into a stronger kinship than what we have. (And so help me, if that happens, I'll set you atop Mt Hood to die on your own...) BUt you new company won't have me. And I dont even know if that is supposed to make you sad, or jealous, or angry or what, because I'm that messed up and missing all of you.
Ok, that's being weepy. Grow some hair on your chest, dammit! Quit crying into your keybard, and finish this damn update!
I cant! I need a nap. And a hug. And this ashtray. I don't need anything else. And this paddle game. Just a nap, and a hug and the ashtray, and a paddle ball game. That's all I need. And this remote. The nap, the hug, the ashtray, a paddle ball game, and the remote control. And a bl--
Just go to bed, for crying out loud.
OK.
Joel H stated "Well, considering I really like the Buffalo Bills, and I have already slammed a Summit Oktoberfest, know nothing of football (that is the oblong ball that's brown right?)I have to disagree with you. The fact is, it is Dallas and I have never liked them. More to the point, I just wanted you to know I was reading this and think you should continue writing. Book someday? I need another beer...."
After this past week of picks Joel, alot could be said that I know nothing of football, either. That said, i think finally understand your beer hobby. Since you claim to be a Bills fan though not completely sure of your own football knowledge, you must at least know that they don't have a great history of Winning Super Bowl games. That would cause any fan to drink heartily. Add to this knowledge the fact of Buffalo's other main export : Buffalo wings. Which goes perfectly with a good beer. It's amazing how much I still learn about you after all this time. Do me a favor and knock back one of those oat-beer things we had last time...you know the one so dark and thick, I thought it was Star Jones?
Oh, I KNOW he didn't just say that...oh HELL no!
Now, most people are goping to read this and think that I'm mocking it, but I'm not in anyway. It was a fantastic beer, and I nearly squealed in delight at the sight of it glopping into the glass, as though it were mud or sludge of some kind. I had halfway hoped I would get to chew my beer. Why was I excited at an idea that makes other reel back in revulsion? Same reason some people see Courney Love and think she's anything more than a talentless skank... there aren't rules to this thing called life, ya know. Just a few commonly held beliefs we all cling to and hope others follow our example.
(Reading the mind of the man in the background...Damn! That sh*t is whack!
There aren't rules to this thing called life, ya know. Just a few commonly held beliefs we all cling to and hope others follow our example.
If you don't have it handy though, Joel, throw down one of those Chocolate beers, or whatever else you have in the house, I suppose. I'll grab a Pyramid if I can find one,a nd toast you about 9pm your time. And if you do the same, why, it will almost be like we're drinking together. Just don't do anything around 12:30am your time, cause that'd just be awkward and uncomfortable.
I am glad to see that you are still reading it though...I was resigned in my own noggin that you wouldn't, and all of this was passing you by on it's way to Milwaukee, Chicago, Ann Arbor, Detroit, and all stops beyond. I don't pretend that it means much to anyone beyond those that know me...and even to those that do, I am sure they'd remove parts that frankly bore them to tears. (I have known to get windy on such matters.) because of that, there are no plns for a book. The only reason that I have this is that I am free to publish what I want, because its free! You get what you pay for. I also have a worrysome thought that I have become some sort of blog version of "Penhouse"....sure there's articles and stuff, but noone every ReALLY buys it for the articles. it may get perused during rest breaks, but the articles are fluff, a nd he pictures is where it makes it's money. If that is true...don't tell me. I can't bear the thought of all the time I have put into this for it to be ignored in favor of the eye candy.
As such, there are no current plans for a book. You flatter me to suggest it, and I thank you for thinking so much of my meager talents. But what skill I have in writing would quickly be dismissed, I think, in the literary world. How much of a following would I have if people didn't know me? Who would publish me? It is one thing to write a blog; quite another to think of yourself as a competant writer capable of a book.
That said, there was talk at one time of a compilaion effort between I and another artist. They were to provide me pictures, and I was to set the words to the pictures. The other artist and I have since gone in different directions, and the idea set aside for now. This idea still intruiges me, and should it develop in time, I will assuredly let you know. In the meantime, I will work on honing my craft, and do what I can to strengthen my abilites so that when the time DOES come, I will be ready.
To pass the time, feel free to stop by anytime to take a look around and comment whenever the mood strikes you.
Other comments have been made recently as well...
"Who doth bash my beloved Cowboys???? IS that JOELLE??? The mighty, mighty Hollander lady????
Ok, that was me.....Joelle.....
# posted by Elissa : 7:08 PM"
It wasn't Joelle, E. It was the Washington Football team located in Washington DC that bashed your Cowboys. But you get credit to owning up to the original statement, so I'll go easy on you. You have to admit, however, that your Cowboys hardly reminded anyone of the halcyon days of Troy Aikman on Monday...
Courtesy Brooks Ayola....great camera work can be found here...
(No no no..you don't even have to say it. You're welcome, E.)
The Joelle thing though...taht's ust mean and funny at the same time. We need ot know if Joel has bothered to share that with his current co-workers.
BTW, Mr H., you may find new co-workers there at your new company. You may find better, more intelligent co-workers htere. they may develop into a stronger kinship than what we have. (And so help me, if that happens, I'll set you atop Mt Hood to die on your own...) BUt you new company won't have me. And I dont even know if that is supposed to make you sad, or jealous, or angry or what, because I'm that messed up and missing all of you.
Ok, that's being weepy. Grow some hair on your chest, dammit! Quit crying into your keybard, and finish this damn update!
I cant! I need a nap. And a hug. And this ashtray. I don't need anything else. And this paddle game. Just a nap, and a hug and the ashtray, and a paddle ball game. That's all I need. And this remote. The nap, the hug, the ashtray, a paddle ball game, and the remote control. And a bl--
Just go to bed, for crying out loud.
OK.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Song of the day:
It is only a paper moon
Sailin' over a cardboard sea
But it wouldn't be make-believe
If you believed in me
Yes, it's only a canvas sky
Hanging over a muslin tree
But it wouldn't be make-believe
If you believed in me
Without your love it's a honky-tonk parade
Without your love it's a melody played in a penny arcade
It's a Barnum and Bailey world
Just as phony as it can be
But it wouldn't be make-believe
If you believed in me
-"It's only a Paper Moon", Nat King Cole
That day in history (Sept 20th):
In 1519, Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan set out from Spain on a voyage to find a western passage to the Spice Islands in Indonesia. (Magellan was killed enroute, but one of his ships eventually circled the world.) The discovery of the Spice Islands re-invigorated the trade routes for that time, with the exotic flavors of a new land, to say nothing of the Spice Girls or the Spice Channel.
The Spice Channel, of course, being the route to and from the Spice Islands. Where the Spice Girls were.
Ok, this is going nowhere. I am beating on the dusty bleached bones of what used to be a prehistoric horse. Which, so many millions of years ago, were actually no bigger than dogs! I have nowhere else to go with this.
In 1870, Italian troops took control of the Papal States, leading to the unification of Italy.
Horses the size of dogs! Imagine! Those commercials where a monkey is riding a dog? He could be riding a real horse instead!
In 1873, panic swept the floor of the New York Stock Exchange in the wake of railroad bond defaults and bank failures. Course, it probably wouldn't as mean as much back then to say that you were hung like a horse, since, well....
In 1881, Chester A. Arthur was sworn in as the 21st president of the United States, succeeding the assassinated James A. Garfield.
In 1947, former New York City Mayor Fiorello La Guardia died. And yet, millions of people are in and out of La Guardia every day. Even in death, he's still a little slutty.
Actually, that's really disturbing. Until you realize that La guardia is an airport. And it's only me that had to make it so unsettling. Which says alot about me, I guess.
In 1958, civil rights activist Martin Luther King Jr. was seriously wounded during an appearance at a New York City department store when an apparently deranged woman stabbed him in the chest.
In 1962, black student James Meredith was blocked from enrolling at the University of Mississippi by Gov. Ross R. Barnett. (Meredith was later admitted.)
In 1973, in their so-called "battle of the sexes," tennis star Billie Jean King defeated Bobby Riggs in straight sets, 6-4, 6-3, 6-3, at the Houston Astrodome. Something tells me the word "straight" doesn't get associated with Billie Jean King all that often. Or other female tennis players, for that matter. But why, oh why, only the ugly ones?
Back in the early 90's, during the height of my puberty, I had a thing for Jennifer Capriati.
And she's even wearing a ballcap. Reminder: Women comfortable in ballcaps instantly increase hot-ness points.
In 1973, singer-songwriter Jim Croce died in a plane crash near Natchitoches, La.; he was 30.
You don't tug on the pilot's control stick.
You don't spit into the mechanic's lunch.
You don't poke your fingers in the spokes,
and you don't mess around with the parachutes.
In 1980, "Spectacular Bid," ridden by Bill Shoemaker, ran as the only entry in the Woodward Stakes at Belmont Park in New York after three potential challengers dropped out in horse racing's first walkover since 1949.
This Day in history: (Sept 21)
In 1792, the French National Convention voted to abolish the monarchy.
In 1897, the New York Sun ran its famous editorial that declared, "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus." As Hamlet said to Horatio, "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
In 1937, "The Hobbit," by J.R.R. Tolkien, was first published.
In 1949, the People's Republic of China was proclaimed by its Communist leaders.
In 1964, Malta gained independence from Britain.
In 1970, "NFL Monday Night Football" made its debut on ABC TV as the Cleveland Browns defeated the visiting New York Jets, 31-21.
In 1973, the U.S. Senate confirmed Henry Kissinger to be Secretary of State.
In 1981, the Senate unanimously confirmed the nomination of Sandra Day O'Connor to become the first female justice on the Supreme Court.
In 1989, Hurricane Hugo, packing winds of up to 135 mph, crashed into Charleston, S.C.
That day's Birthdays:
Basketball Hall of Fame coach Red Auerbach is 88.
None of you care. Here's a red-head instead.
Actress Sophia Loren is 71.
One of my favorite pictures...
Rock singers Matthew Nelson and Gunnar Nelson are 38.
Tell me something....if they "can't live without your love and affection", what in the hell is keeping them alive? Who is the fool who is providing the "love and affection" that sustains their life and vitality?
The very best of Nelson. Ugh... My stomach feels as though it's full of curdled milk.
Rock musician Rick Woolstenhulme (Lifehouse) is 26. He's hanging by a moment. I'm beyond that now. Which is why some people say I am hung. At least that's why I think they say it.
When you hang a man, you better look at 'im!
This Days birthdays:
Actor Larry Hagman is 74.
Poet-songwriter Leonard Cohen is 71.
Author Stephen King is 58.
Actor-comedian Bill Murray is 55.
Movie producer-writer Ethan Coen is 48.
Actor-comedian Dave Coulier is 46.
Best known for his work on "Full House", but also fairly well known for being the target of a rather vicious song by Alannis Morrisette. Allegedly.
Actor David James Elliott is 45.
Never heard of him before. But he seems to have fat fingers. I'm just making an observation.
Apparently he's on JAG, which I never have watched and yet I know one of his co-stars.
Catherine Bell.
Actress Cheryl Hines is 40.
Country singer Faith Hill is 38.
Actor Luke Wilson is 34.
Word of the day:
Vivacious adj.
Full of animation and spirit; lively
Sometimes pictures show better than a verbal description...
Shakespeare quote of the day:
"Love comforteth like sunshine after rain"
Venus and Adonis
Day 3
We arose early on the morning of Day 3 determined that we would make it to Spokane, WA by the time we stopped again for the night. To do so would mean crossing a large majority of Montana, shooting through the small but northern part of Idaho, and making it partway into Washington. It would mean less stops for the kids, and some frayed nerves, most likely. Mountain passes, laborous uphill climbs, tricky downhill treks, a summer temperature, and a not-too-trustworthy trailer loaded down with personal effects that were rapidly declining in sentimental value all weighed as tough assignments for our sturdy vehicle. To say nothing of the weight of crushed cheerios it must have held between the seat cushions.
The children, however, felt no weight whatsoever upon their shoulders, as they dove into the generous free continental breakfast supplied by the hotel. Anna declared her love for cinnamon rolls, though she only ate half of it. Bailey indulged in a bowl of fruit, along with her requisite "peanut jelly", which would be peanut butter and jelly toast, without the peanut butter, since she is allergic to peanuts. With full tummys, they were prepared to face the harsh road ahead. Ginger and I? We were braced for whatever the road might hold.
We needn't be concerned, though. Whatever sort of challenges the future had in store for us that day, we were capable of doing no wrong! There would be no task that we could not accomplish, no job that we could not handle, no issue so complex that it would be unsolveable. For we had stayed at a Holdiy Inn Express last night!
Finding a cure for cancer? Psssh. Cake.
Reducing the cost of gas and oil worldwide? Don't you have anything that would require me to break a sweat?
Finally finding answers to the age old question of whether or not the female orgasm is fact or fiction? I'll answer that one for you right now. If it doesn't exist, why the hell are there lesbians?
I know when I'm not needed.
There wasn't any question I couldn't answer! Cold fusion would be mere child's play! time and space travel? I'll have it done by lunch! All because I stayed at a Holiday INnn Express. And what was I going to use with these phenomenal cosmic powers and insight?
Drive through the most rugged and expansive terrain in the northern 48 states as fast as my engine would allow, while 3 kids and a sister told me that they were bored.
While of no great signifigant contribution to the world society, it was still an equal accomplishment worthy of the great gift of temporary omnipotence. That's right. For 1 day, I would know what it is like to be God. But when you have my own particular collection of talents and skills, it is a sensation that no longer carries any sort of fascination, as it is a regular daily occurance. And twice on Sundays.
I am sorry to say that the trip to Spokane carried few highlights of which to expound on. I remember thinking to myself, and maybe even stating aloud that you often hear from other people and on TV and in movies how beautiful Montana is. And many times when you hear that, you think that it's over-rated. That whomever is spouting the Montana propoganda must be carrying on and on about something that simply can't be as good as what they describe. Once you see it for yourself, though, you realize that MOntana is everything that it was said it was. Montana lives up to the hype, and there is truth in advertizing. It is amazing and majestic in nature,with scenery unparralleled anywhere else in the United States that I have seen. It is not for everyone, but for those that prefer a more solitary life away from the bustle of a metropolis, it can be heaven. It is also not for people who think that just because it isn't near a big city that it is an easy life. Instead, a life amongst the rolling hills of Big Sky Country requires sacrifice and hard grueling work. It's better to just drive paat it and appreciate it's beauty.
But there is a steady decline of appreciation as we journey westward. Slowly but steadily, I stop seeing the beauty of this land, and start to realize tht it is the monster that simply must be killed and left behind. Only, Montana is so huge that it simply doesn't end. At ALL! After a certain amount of time, you find that you are gritting your teeth, in every effort to push the car tha much quicker through this damned state.
Of the few highlights from Day 3:
-They have a city in MOntana that you may have heard of. Butte, Montana. I simply couldn't resist the temptation. I looked at my sister, danced, and said "I like bbig BUTTEs and I cannot lie! You otha bruthas can't deny..."
- I believe in Billings and in Butte they both ahve a giant concrete M on the side of a mountain. I have no idea what it is for, other than to remind you that yes, you are still in Montana. The locals denied any real knowledge for it, and after a time, I simply didn't care to know any longer.
-It's one of the bigger skies that I have seen. And I've seen a few. But it's a pretty big sky they have.
We did finally reach Spokane though, around 11pm or so. After quickly checking into a hotel, we crashed for the night. Having made it there, we were able to set ourselves up for a much more leisurely drive to Vancouver-home-the following day, leaving plenty of time for the kids to swim and play the next morning.
Movie Quote of the time period since the last time I did A Movie Quote of the day:
Admiral Greer: Excuse me, Jack, tell me one thing in life that is absolutely for certain.
Jack Ryan: A daughter's love.
-Patriot Games
Birthday day!
It is my Bailey's Birthday today. As such I am wasting much too much time typing this, instad of spending it with her. Since this is not finished, I will come back and finish it later. IN the meantime, you will be able to see the unfinished parts, and if you come back later, hopefully they will be finished. But not until she has gone to bed. So maybe check back tomorrow.
Critical study of a picture:
Probably the best place to start on this is the background, for it sets the stage for so much more in the foreground. In the very far back you can see the mist, as it rolls into the bay from the Pacific ocean. The fog rolls from behind towards the viewer, permeating the other levels of the picture, veiling and unveiling differnee aspects throughout. There are items both seen and unseen, and those that can only be carefully made out through intense scrutiny. But beyond that, it holds a mystical aspect ath cannot be ignored. For while we know that it is created by the wash of the ocean, it could also very well disguise or hide a doorway to Heaven, or some mythical land. It adds a haze or an aura to the scene, which softly haunts the hills, and helps draw attention to the main focus, by gently softening the edges. The grey ghost of the Pacific encapsulates the central part of the picture, only slightly blurring the dark rocks, the trees, and the green plantlife throughout. And yet the presence is not so much that it oppresses the mood, but rather refreshes the spirit in a solemn, quiet, and subtle fashion.
Moving a little more forward, yet still remaining in the background, we have the trees immediately behind us, which stretch the picture vertically, and draw the viewers eyes up and away from the central focus, so that the entire picture is appreciated, particularly the details. But what is amazing is how well this is accomplished, as though the trees themselves were grown for this purpose. The trees ahve no branches that reach across until they are above our heads, and then they weave a tangled web of interconnection and complex patterns that further surround the central themes. They cradle those within. In fact, on the right side of the picture you see a small branch reach out to restory, as though to gently lay a soft frond upon her shoulder. "I am here, and so long as I am, you are safe".
The tree on the left behind Anna has it's own shawl of damp green leaves and moss, which it uses to hide it's nakedness behind. It extends it's branches behind her and above her on the right to catch, to to carry her, should she fall back. Above her, it reaches accross to other trees to provide a covering from the overcast skies above, like a mother who places her hands atop a baby's head in the rain. Not all of the rain will be stopped, but some will...and it will stop what rain it can from falling upon them.
Even more interesting about this tree is that you'll notice that there is no branches on the left side of it until it goes beyond Anna's height, which would only draw your eyes away from the core, while your eyes followed it's course. the same could be said about the tree on the right, for the most part. there isn't a major branch that extends out away from the center until it has gone beyond the group in the middle.
Though taken in August, the ground immediately arround us is vibrant and alive with plant life, at its peak of life. It's (to use the word of the day) vivacious green presence provides a nice contrast to the more primary colors found on the family in the center.
But this is my absoulute favorite part, which is the presence and appearance of the children in the picture. All of the other pieces spoken of to this point have been excellent parts of a greater whole, contributing to the overall beauty found at this critical point.
I'll start right in the middle, and work my way around. In the absolute center of the picture is Bailey. Her face conjures up memories of angels and saints from Michaelangelo and Leonardo Da Vinci. It is a face that will inspire countless sonnets and symphonies within my heart that will never see the light of day, for words or music could nver re-capture the spirit found in the original. Her eyes a sea of blue that swallow a daddy's strength, and I am found entwirled like string around her finger. Her face is clean and pure like fine porcelain, yet soft as a smooth fleece blanket. Her smile is one not seen since Mona LIsa. You're not entirely sure she is smiling, except for the slight upturn onthe left corner of her mouth. Her hair, wetted down by the weather, spins down in front of her, and it becomes all that much easier to see the angel within. Particularly how a free strand hangs in front of her eye. Were it a painting, it would be one of several masterstrokes found here.
As a father, this next part is more personal for me. She stands poised to burst forth. She is cocked and ready for action. This looks to be a moment right before a great release of excitement and joy.Her hands ae loosely clenched to nothing, and she is ready to...quite frankly use me as a launching pad for some gallop across the field. And this is the very best part for me. There is no fear in her eyes. There is just this bundle of energy that is confident in it's direction and in it's action. My arms encircle her, but do not restrict her. She can easily break my hold whenever she wants, and is free to return too the protective arms of her daddy. She feels my presence behind and all around her, as I hope she does all of her life, no matter how big or how old she may get.
Anna is on the left. Her own blue eyes glimmer underneath her hood, shining like brilliant gems peaking out from the sand and surf on a beach. So dazzlingly brilliant in color, you cannot help but notice them. Her head is slightly cocked to the side towards me, and a smile that somehow both conveys sweet innocense and a slight impishness. Or perhaps it's only seen through my own eyes. Her face is more shadowed than Bailey's because of her hood, but it also holds those same cherub-ic qualities, reminiscent of the finest of Renesaince artists. Her golden hair spindles down in tight curls, and I can't help but think of the old fable of Rumplestiltskin. her stance is passive, and she holds a single simple flower in her hands showing the yin of her nature...a sweet little girl capable of amazing compassion and care. The Yang is her fireball spiritedness, which lights the fires found in her eyes and feeds her constant smiles and giggly nature.
Restory's eyes glow in their own haunting way from the shadows of her hood. They are soft, yet piercing; focused, yet tender. Her hair spills out of her jacket, cascading down in loose swirls of a bright copper and brass. Like her sisters, her smile is subtle and as I look at it, I find that it soothes my heart. The branch above my head seems to point her out: "Here! Here is where to look! Even the mound far off behind her rolls to fall in line with her hood and draws your attention to her silent approving stare. I see contentment myself, though I might mis-interpret it.
The picture was not altered in any fashion. But I see it as a beautiful work of art that displays the inner-most virtues of those young girls. It has all of the elements one might find of a classic painting. BUt it's only through one person's eyes. Perhaps others interpret it differnetly. Feel free to give your own thoughts on the picture.
"Why God made Little Girls"
God made the world with its towering trees,
majestic mountains and restless seas,
then paused and said, "It needs one more thing -
someone to laugh and dance and sing,
to walk in the woods and gather flowers,
to commune with nature in quiet hours.
So God made little girls
with laughing eyes and bouncing curls,
with joyful hearts and infectious smiles,
enchanting ways and feminine wiles,
and when He'd completed the task He'd begun,
He was pleased and proud of the job He'd done.
For the world when seen through a litle girl's eyes,
greatly resembles Paradise.
-Author Unknown
It is only a paper moon
Sailin' over a cardboard sea
But it wouldn't be make-believe
If you believed in me
Yes, it's only a canvas sky
Hanging over a muslin tree
But it wouldn't be make-believe
If you believed in me
Without your love it's a honky-tonk parade
Without your love it's a melody played in a penny arcade
It's a Barnum and Bailey world
Just as phony as it can be
But it wouldn't be make-believe
If you believed in me
-"It's only a Paper Moon", Nat King Cole
That day in history (Sept 20th):
In 1519, Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan set out from Spain on a voyage to find a western passage to the Spice Islands in Indonesia. (Magellan was killed enroute, but one of his ships eventually circled the world.) The discovery of the Spice Islands re-invigorated the trade routes for that time, with the exotic flavors of a new land, to say nothing of the Spice Girls or the Spice Channel.
The Spice Channel, of course, being the route to and from the Spice Islands. Where the Spice Girls were.
Ok, this is going nowhere. I am beating on the dusty bleached bones of what used to be a prehistoric horse. Which, so many millions of years ago, were actually no bigger than dogs! I have nowhere else to go with this.
In 1870, Italian troops took control of the Papal States, leading to the unification of Italy.
Horses the size of dogs! Imagine! Those commercials where a monkey is riding a dog? He could be riding a real horse instead!
In 1873, panic swept the floor of the New York Stock Exchange in the wake of railroad bond defaults and bank failures. Course, it probably wouldn't as mean as much back then to say that you were hung like a horse, since, well....
In 1881, Chester A. Arthur was sworn in as the 21st president of the United States, succeeding the assassinated James A. Garfield.
In 1947, former New York City Mayor Fiorello La Guardia died. And yet, millions of people are in and out of La Guardia every day. Even in death, he's still a little slutty.
Actually, that's really disturbing. Until you realize that La guardia is an airport. And it's only me that had to make it so unsettling. Which says alot about me, I guess.
In 1958, civil rights activist Martin Luther King Jr. was seriously wounded during an appearance at a New York City department store when an apparently deranged woman stabbed him in the chest.
In 1962, black student James Meredith was blocked from enrolling at the University of Mississippi by Gov. Ross R. Barnett. (Meredith was later admitted.)
In 1973, in their so-called "battle of the sexes," tennis star Billie Jean King defeated Bobby Riggs in straight sets, 6-4, 6-3, 6-3, at the Houston Astrodome. Something tells me the word "straight" doesn't get associated with Billie Jean King all that often. Or other female tennis players, for that matter. But why, oh why, only the ugly ones?
Back in the early 90's, during the height of my puberty, I had a thing for Jennifer Capriati.
And she's even wearing a ballcap. Reminder: Women comfortable in ballcaps instantly increase hot-ness points.
In 1973, singer-songwriter Jim Croce died in a plane crash near Natchitoches, La.; he was 30.
You don't tug on the pilot's control stick.
You don't spit into the mechanic's lunch.
You don't poke your fingers in the spokes,
and you don't mess around with the parachutes.
In 1980, "Spectacular Bid," ridden by Bill Shoemaker, ran as the only entry in the Woodward Stakes at Belmont Park in New York after three potential challengers dropped out in horse racing's first walkover since 1949.
This Day in history: (Sept 21)
In 1792, the French National Convention voted to abolish the monarchy.
In 1897, the New York Sun ran its famous editorial that declared, "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus." As Hamlet said to Horatio, "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
In 1937, "The Hobbit," by J.R.R. Tolkien, was first published.
In 1949, the People's Republic of China was proclaimed by its Communist leaders.
In 1964, Malta gained independence from Britain.
In 1970, "NFL Monday Night Football" made its debut on ABC TV as the Cleveland Browns defeated the visiting New York Jets, 31-21.
In 1973, the U.S. Senate confirmed Henry Kissinger to be Secretary of State.
In 1981, the Senate unanimously confirmed the nomination of Sandra Day O'Connor to become the first female justice on the Supreme Court.
In 1989, Hurricane Hugo, packing winds of up to 135 mph, crashed into Charleston, S.C.
That day's Birthdays:
Basketball Hall of Fame coach Red Auerbach is 88.
None of you care. Here's a red-head instead.
Actress Sophia Loren is 71.
One of my favorite pictures...
Rock singers Matthew Nelson and Gunnar Nelson are 38.
Tell me something....if they "can't live without your love and affection", what in the hell is keeping them alive? Who is the fool who is providing the "love and affection" that sustains their life and vitality?
The very best of Nelson. Ugh... My stomach feels as though it's full of curdled milk.
Rock musician Rick Woolstenhulme (Lifehouse) is 26. He's hanging by a moment. I'm beyond that now. Which is why some people say I am hung. At least that's why I think they say it.
When you hang a man, you better look at 'im!
This Days birthdays:
Actor Larry Hagman is 74.
Poet-songwriter Leonard Cohen is 71.
Author Stephen King is 58.
Actor-comedian Bill Murray is 55.
Movie producer-writer Ethan Coen is 48.
Actor-comedian Dave Coulier is 46.
Best known for his work on "Full House", but also fairly well known for being the target of a rather vicious song by Alannis Morrisette. Allegedly.
Actor David James Elliott is 45.
Never heard of him before. But he seems to have fat fingers. I'm just making an observation.
Apparently he's on JAG, which I never have watched and yet I know one of his co-stars.
Catherine Bell.
Actress Cheryl Hines is 40.
Country singer Faith Hill is 38.
Actor Luke Wilson is 34.
Word of the day:
Vivacious adj.
Full of animation and spirit; lively
Sometimes pictures show better than a verbal description...
Shakespeare quote of the day:
"Love comforteth like sunshine after rain"
Venus and Adonis
Day 3
We arose early on the morning of Day 3 determined that we would make it to Spokane, WA by the time we stopped again for the night. To do so would mean crossing a large majority of Montana, shooting through the small but northern part of Idaho, and making it partway into Washington. It would mean less stops for the kids, and some frayed nerves, most likely. Mountain passes, laborous uphill climbs, tricky downhill treks, a summer temperature, and a not-too-trustworthy trailer loaded down with personal effects that were rapidly declining in sentimental value all weighed as tough assignments for our sturdy vehicle. To say nothing of the weight of crushed cheerios it must have held between the seat cushions.
The children, however, felt no weight whatsoever upon their shoulders, as they dove into the generous free continental breakfast supplied by the hotel. Anna declared her love for cinnamon rolls, though she only ate half of it. Bailey indulged in a bowl of fruit, along with her requisite "peanut jelly", which would be peanut butter and jelly toast, without the peanut butter, since she is allergic to peanuts. With full tummys, they were prepared to face the harsh road ahead. Ginger and I? We were braced for whatever the road might hold.
We needn't be concerned, though. Whatever sort of challenges the future had in store for us that day, we were capable of doing no wrong! There would be no task that we could not accomplish, no job that we could not handle, no issue so complex that it would be unsolveable. For we had stayed at a Holdiy Inn Express last night!
Finding a cure for cancer? Psssh. Cake.
Reducing the cost of gas and oil worldwide? Don't you have anything that would require me to break a sweat?
Finally finding answers to the age old question of whether or not the female orgasm is fact or fiction? I'll answer that one for you right now. If it doesn't exist, why the hell are there lesbians?
I know when I'm not needed.
There wasn't any question I couldn't answer! Cold fusion would be mere child's play! time and space travel? I'll have it done by lunch! All because I stayed at a Holiday INnn Express. And what was I going to use with these phenomenal cosmic powers and insight?
Drive through the most rugged and expansive terrain in the northern 48 states as fast as my engine would allow, while 3 kids and a sister told me that they were bored.
While of no great signifigant contribution to the world society, it was still an equal accomplishment worthy of the great gift of temporary omnipotence. That's right. For 1 day, I would know what it is like to be God. But when you have my own particular collection of talents and skills, it is a sensation that no longer carries any sort of fascination, as it is a regular daily occurance. And twice on Sundays.
I am sorry to say that the trip to Spokane carried few highlights of which to expound on. I remember thinking to myself, and maybe even stating aloud that you often hear from other people and on TV and in movies how beautiful Montana is. And many times when you hear that, you think that it's over-rated. That whomever is spouting the Montana propoganda must be carrying on and on about something that simply can't be as good as what they describe. Once you see it for yourself, though, you realize that MOntana is everything that it was said it was. Montana lives up to the hype, and there is truth in advertizing. It is amazing and majestic in nature,with scenery unparralleled anywhere else in the United States that I have seen. It is not for everyone, but for those that prefer a more solitary life away from the bustle of a metropolis, it can be heaven. It is also not for people who think that just because it isn't near a big city that it is an easy life. Instead, a life amongst the rolling hills of Big Sky Country requires sacrifice and hard grueling work. It's better to just drive paat it and appreciate it's beauty.
But there is a steady decline of appreciation as we journey westward. Slowly but steadily, I stop seeing the beauty of this land, and start to realize tht it is the monster that simply must be killed and left behind. Only, Montana is so huge that it simply doesn't end. At ALL! After a certain amount of time, you find that you are gritting your teeth, in every effort to push the car tha much quicker through this damned state.
Of the few highlights from Day 3:
-They have a city in MOntana that you may have heard of. Butte, Montana. I simply couldn't resist the temptation. I looked at my sister, danced, and said "I like bbig BUTTEs and I cannot lie! You otha bruthas can't deny..."
- I believe in Billings and in Butte they both ahve a giant concrete M on the side of a mountain. I have no idea what it is for, other than to remind you that yes, you are still in Montana. The locals denied any real knowledge for it, and after a time, I simply didn't care to know any longer.
-It's one of the bigger skies that I have seen. And I've seen a few. But it's a pretty big sky they have.
We did finally reach Spokane though, around 11pm or so. After quickly checking into a hotel, we crashed for the night. Having made it there, we were able to set ourselves up for a much more leisurely drive to Vancouver-home-the following day, leaving plenty of time for the kids to swim and play the next morning.
Movie Quote of the time period since the last time I did A Movie Quote of the day:
Admiral Greer: Excuse me, Jack, tell me one thing in life that is absolutely for certain.
Jack Ryan: A daughter's love.
-Patriot Games
Birthday day!
It is my Bailey's Birthday today. As such I am wasting much too much time typing this, instad of spending it with her. Since this is not finished, I will come back and finish it later. IN the meantime, you will be able to see the unfinished parts, and if you come back later, hopefully they will be finished. But not until she has gone to bed. So maybe check back tomorrow.
Critical study of a picture:
Probably the best place to start on this is the background, for it sets the stage for so much more in the foreground. In the very far back you can see the mist, as it rolls into the bay from the Pacific ocean. The fog rolls from behind towards the viewer, permeating the other levels of the picture, veiling and unveiling differnee aspects throughout. There are items both seen and unseen, and those that can only be carefully made out through intense scrutiny. But beyond that, it holds a mystical aspect ath cannot be ignored. For while we know that it is created by the wash of the ocean, it could also very well disguise or hide a doorway to Heaven, or some mythical land. It adds a haze or an aura to the scene, which softly haunts the hills, and helps draw attention to the main focus, by gently softening the edges. The grey ghost of the Pacific encapsulates the central part of the picture, only slightly blurring the dark rocks, the trees, and the green plantlife throughout. And yet the presence is not so much that it oppresses the mood, but rather refreshes the spirit in a solemn, quiet, and subtle fashion.
Moving a little more forward, yet still remaining in the background, we have the trees immediately behind us, which stretch the picture vertically, and draw the viewers eyes up and away from the central focus, so that the entire picture is appreciated, particularly the details. But what is amazing is how well this is accomplished, as though the trees themselves were grown for this purpose. The trees ahve no branches that reach across until they are above our heads, and then they weave a tangled web of interconnection and complex patterns that further surround the central themes. They cradle those within. In fact, on the right side of the picture you see a small branch reach out to restory, as though to gently lay a soft frond upon her shoulder. "I am here, and so long as I am, you are safe".
The tree on the left behind Anna has it's own shawl of damp green leaves and moss, which it uses to hide it's nakedness behind. It extends it's branches behind her and above her on the right to catch, to to carry her, should she fall back. Above her, it reaches accross to other trees to provide a covering from the overcast skies above, like a mother who places her hands atop a baby's head in the rain. Not all of the rain will be stopped, but some will...and it will stop what rain it can from falling upon them.
Even more interesting about this tree is that you'll notice that there is no branches on the left side of it until it goes beyond Anna's height, which would only draw your eyes away from the core, while your eyes followed it's course. the same could be said about the tree on the right, for the most part. there isn't a major branch that extends out away from the center until it has gone beyond the group in the middle.
Though taken in August, the ground immediately arround us is vibrant and alive with plant life, at its peak of life. It's (to use the word of the day) vivacious green presence provides a nice contrast to the more primary colors found on the family in the center.
But this is my absoulute favorite part, which is the presence and appearance of the children in the picture. All of the other pieces spoken of to this point have been excellent parts of a greater whole, contributing to the overall beauty found at this critical point.
I'll start right in the middle, and work my way around. In the absolute center of the picture is Bailey. Her face conjures up memories of angels and saints from Michaelangelo and Leonardo Da Vinci. It is a face that will inspire countless sonnets and symphonies within my heart that will never see the light of day, for words or music could nver re-capture the spirit found in the original. Her eyes a sea of blue that swallow a daddy's strength, and I am found entwirled like string around her finger. Her face is clean and pure like fine porcelain, yet soft as a smooth fleece blanket. Her smile is one not seen since Mona LIsa. You're not entirely sure she is smiling, except for the slight upturn onthe left corner of her mouth. Her hair, wetted down by the weather, spins down in front of her, and it becomes all that much easier to see the angel within. Particularly how a free strand hangs in front of her eye. Were it a painting, it would be one of several masterstrokes found here.
As a father, this next part is more personal for me. She stands poised to burst forth. She is cocked and ready for action. This looks to be a moment right before a great release of excitement and joy.Her hands ae loosely clenched to nothing, and she is ready to...quite frankly use me as a launching pad for some gallop across the field. And this is the very best part for me. There is no fear in her eyes. There is just this bundle of energy that is confident in it's direction and in it's action. My arms encircle her, but do not restrict her. She can easily break my hold whenever she wants, and is free to return too the protective arms of her daddy. She feels my presence behind and all around her, as I hope she does all of her life, no matter how big or how old she may get.
Anna is on the left. Her own blue eyes glimmer underneath her hood, shining like brilliant gems peaking out from the sand and surf on a beach. So dazzlingly brilliant in color, you cannot help but notice them. Her head is slightly cocked to the side towards me, and a smile that somehow both conveys sweet innocense and a slight impishness. Or perhaps it's only seen through my own eyes. Her face is more shadowed than Bailey's because of her hood, but it also holds those same cherub-ic qualities, reminiscent of the finest of Renesaince artists. Her golden hair spindles down in tight curls, and I can't help but think of the old fable of Rumplestiltskin. her stance is passive, and she holds a single simple flower in her hands showing the yin of her nature...a sweet little girl capable of amazing compassion and care. The Yang is her fireball spiritedness, which lights the fires found in her eyes and feeds her constant smiles and giggly nature.
Restory's eyes glow in their own haunting way from the shadows of her hood. They are soft, yet piercing; focused, yet tender. Her hair spills out of her jacket, cascading down in loose swirls of a bright copper and brass. Like her sisters, her smile is subtle and as I look at it, I find that it soothes my heart. The branch above my head seems to point her out: "Here! Here is where to look! Even the mound far off behind her rolls to fall in line with her hood and draws your attention to her silent approving stare. I see contentment myself, though I might mis-interpret it.
The picture was not altered in any fashion. But I see it as a beautiful work of art that displays the inner-most virtues of those young girls. It has all of the elements one might find of a classic painting. BUt it's only through one person's eyes. Perhaps others interpret it differnetly. Feel free to give your own thoughts on the picture.
"Why God made Little Girls"
God made the world with its towering trees,
majestic mountains and restless seas,
then paused and said, "It needs one more thing -
someone to laugh and dance and sing,
to walk in the woods and gather flowers,
to commune with nature in quiet hours.
So God made little girls
with laughing eyes and bouncing curls,
with joyful hearts and infectious smiles,
enchanting ways and feminine wiles,
and when He'd completed the task He'd begun,
He was pleased and proud of the job He'd done.
For the world when seen through a litle girl's eyes,
greatly resembles Paradise.
-Author Unknown
Note: this is being posted at the urging of a very persistant friend...so there you go.
What follows is a description of a Pacific Northwest Company outing aboard the Sternwheeler Rose, a paddleboat found in Portland in the Willamette River. Names have not been changed to protect anyone, because the only person you are likely to know is me.
This particular office or region won Region of the year, which meant that my Company was gonna put down some money to celebrate. And liquor. And bitches! Ok, maybe not bitches.
“We trimmed many hedges, and raped the horses, and rode off on the women!”
Are Amigos falling out of the sky?! (Thump)
Having just arrived a week or so ago, I was unsure of just how much Matt these people could handle. I wanted to be myself at all times, but as you might guess, not everyone can handle all of Matt all at once. Hell, even I can’t. (Takes two hands.)
SO I held back, and remained respectful, but it also meant that I was holding back. I wasn’t all that outgoing, because that is something that is a bit of an issue for me. In a new environment, I have a hard time starting conversations, or making new friends. (Dating is gonna be HELL for me. ) So I sat on the bus that took us to the paddleboat keeping to myself, and taking in the scenery.
Another thing should be mentioned at this point. Prior to my hiring, there was only 1 other guy in the department. And he was only hired 2 weeks before I. And I’m not sure if he’s straight or not. However, before you go getting the idea that it’s a world of poo-nannie waiting for me to dive in, 90% of the women here are married, older, and frumpy. The only possible cute girls I have seen have been temps doing filing. And I get the impression that we don’t fraternize with the TEMPS. They’re not ADP people, after all.
And it’s not even that I am looking for that, even though I am if that makes sense. It’d be nice to have someone who would show interest in me, but I wouldn’t even know what to do with it were it to happen. I have eyes, and can appreciate a pretty girl and her attention. But much as I would like to, I have no time or place for that in my life right now. IF that sounds to you like justification, or me trying to convince myself of it, you’re probably at least partially right.
So even though I am not looking for girls, or to make any advances should I find one, I am always keeping an eye open for pretty girls, if that makes any sense. Just as scenery at this point. Nothing to be had during the entire bus ride. We get out and get aboard the paddleboat. 2 drink tickets per person. I have no idea what to drink, since I am not a big alcohol drinker. So I order a scotch. Neat.
“When I want water, I drink water. When I want scotch, I drink scotch!”
1st sip: “Wow, that’s some nasty stuff.”
2nd sip a half hour later: “Wow, that’s nasty stuff. But not as bad the second time around.”
I finished it, but it was the only drink I had the entire voyage, a trip that lasted 2-2.5 hours. Nurse my drink? Please. I’ve got a PHD in nursing drinks.
Ok, even I didn’t find that one funny.
So I sit down and start talking to the only other guy there and to some of the other mid-to-older aged women there. Talk is about work, which I don’t know anything about, local haunts, which I know nothing about, and the challenges of middle-aged women and ex-husbands, which I know nothing about. So I just sit and keep my mouth shut,a nd then step out onto the front open area on the boat, and take in the scenery. And I start to appreciate the moment for what it is; my first moment to rest without worrying about what needs to be done, what net challenge is around the bend. I can for a small moment in time, just appreciate this new place that I have arrived in. I don’t bother to reflect on what it took to get out here, because I don’t want to fall into the trap of “OK, what’s next” right now. I talk with Mike a bit about his future in radiology, and my hopeful future of going back to school for some writing classes or something. And then it’s time to eat!
I head downstairs, and collect my chicken fajitas and fruit, and come back upstairs. The mother hens invite me to join them, which I do graciously, and they razz me a bit about the amount of food I have taken. But considering the office I came from, I explained you had to grab what you could when you could, for fear that it would be nothing but crumbs by the time you had a chance to eat. Having nearly finished the fajitas, I am sampling some of the fruit I have collected.
One of the mother hens had been the beneficiary of a fellow co-worker’s generoisity…the mother hen had received a free weekend in Victoria BC because the co-worker couldn’t use it. I expressed my surprise at sugh great generosity, and the cautioned me, since I didn’t know what the mother hen had to do to earn it. I of course, couldn’t leave it alone, so I test the waters by stating that the fajitas go so well with the tongue I am biting.
The Mother Hen sitting next to me laughs and said, “Oh good. And I thought with men in the call center, we’d have to clean up our act.”
Thankfully I was able to spit out the grape in my mouth before I choked on it. “That’s funny. Matt never chokes on grapes at home.”
(Airplane humor for those paying attention.)
This seemed to be an appropriate time to mention my reputation, and that of “The Gutter”. I just may well fit in here after all.
Cause I’m long. And I’m strong. And I’m down to get the friction on!
Yet at some point, the conversation turns to day spas and mink coats, and bitchy girlfriends…all stuff I don’t have a lot of experience in. So I wonder off to enjoy some of the night air again, and take in the sunset and beautiful views of the river and shoreline and downtown skyline. While I am out there, I am pulled into a conversation to be introduced to a fairly cute girl in her late 20’s. Well hey! This evening just go a bonus! They introduce her as Jackie, and she asks if I want to be part of this special project to arrange non-adp sanctioned get-togethers once a week. Sure! A chance for me to get to know the town, get to know my co-workers, find a way to contribute besides just training, look like a team player…sounds great! But the way it came out was “Would you like to be part of a special project after work?”
And before I could answer, a co-worker has to jump in to clarify that she isn’t asking me out.
She kiddingly asks if I want to sleep with her.
Me: “How come this boat is taking so long to get back to the dock?”
We get to talking, and she’s obviously drunk, working on her 2nd long island iced tea, and having ahd nothing to eat. She’s touching me on the arm and on my hip and on my back. I’ve already determined that I’m not going to do anything, but use it as a chance to get some practice in, for lack of a better description. Try to see if I can figure out what sort of vibe she’s giving off, work on just carrying off small talk, etc. there are some furtive meeting of eyes, some awkward pauses, etc. And for the life of me, I can’t figure out what sort of message she’s giving me. Another girl comes over and they introduce me to her. I can’t remember her name, so I’ll call her Tammy for the moment. She’s ok, but nothing special.
She asks if I am in sales, and I explain no. She rolls her eyes at some comment I made which I can’t remember, and says “men.”
Grr. I don’t like being stereotyped with all other guys, but it’s not like I’m not guilty of it myself with women. As all of us talk, more and more of my story comes out that I just moved here, I have kids, etc…
And throughout the process, it’s as though they’ve learned I have leperosy or some such thing. Whatever interest I was picking up before is fading fast. I am slowly coming to the realization that I appeal more to potential Mother-in-law’s than I do to their daughters.
And I pull up quick to retrieve it.
Still, I am intruiged about the idea of working on this special project. Sound s like fun. And I could always do a review of said bars, beer, etc. on the Update. So I ask Jackie to tell me more about this special project, and where she ahd in mind to go.
Jackie: Oh, don’t think like that.
(Oh, you witch!)
Matt: I wasn’t thinking like that. I was just wondering what sort of place you ahd in mind, like a bar, or resteraunt..
But at this point, anything I say sounds like desperate covering of my tracks. And she’s drunk, so I ask why I am wasting my time any longer. At which point, I head back in to take a sit inside the boat and just hang out. Tammy comes back in, and looks at me, and says “Why are you always so nervous?”
My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hon.
Yeah, just what I need; another complex to spend the next 3 months figuring out in my noggin. Thanks for THAT!
Never mind the fact it’s my first social event as a single person since say….I was 18 years old!
So in some ways, it could be classified as a complete disaster. But I had fun; it was a good if mellow time. I was able to get some practice in on some rather basic or rudimentary skills I should have had well before this point for dating. And despite what other DRUNK people might think, I didn’t have anything to feel badly about. I was myself at all times, even if it was a more subdued version of myself.
I’ll leave it to you if subdued can ever be used as an adjective to describe the full version of Me.
You gotta remember. I’m not the only one in training right now. They’re all in Matt training. They’re all in the LEARN mode of M.A.T.T.
Oh, and another thing. If my having kids intimidates you, you have NO shot with me. I refuse to ever consider the kids as “baggage”, keeping me from having a relationship. It’s their baggage that they can’t handle it. I won’t ever allow myself to travel down some sort of twisted road that would make me resent my own kids.
I’m doin’ the best I ever did.
I’m doin’ the best that I can.
I’m don’ the best that I ever did.
NOW GO AWAY!
Godsmack-“Whatever”
What follows is a description of a Pacific Northwest Company outing aboard the Sternwheeler Rose, a paddleboat found in Portland in the Willamette River. Names have not been changed to protect anyone, because the only person you are likely to know is me.
This particular office or region won Region of the year, which meant that my Company was gonna put down some money to celebrate. And liquor. And bitches! Ok, maybe not bitches.
“We trimmed many hedges, and raped the horses, and rode off on the women!”
Are Amigos falling out of the sky?! (Thump)
Having just arrived a week or so ago, I was unsure of just how much Matt these people could handle. I wanted to be myself at all times, but as you might guess, not everyone can handle all of Matt all at once. Hell, even I can’t. (Takes two hands.)
SO I held back, and remained respectful, but it also meant that I was holding back. I wasn’t all that outgoing, because that is something that is a bit of an issue for me. In a new environment, I have a hard time starting conversations, or making new friends. (Dating is gonna be HELL for me. ) So I sat on the bus that took us to the paddleboat keeping to myself, and taking in the scenery.
Another thing should be mentioned at this point. Prior to my hiring, there was only 1 other guy in the department. And he was only hired 2 weeks before I. And I’m not sure if he’s straight or not. However, before you go getting the idea that it’s a world of poo-nannie waiting for me to dive in, 90% of the women here are married, older, and frumpy. The only possible cute girls I have seen have been temps doing filing. And I get the impression that we don’t fraternize with the TEMPS. They’re not ADP people, after all.
And it’s not even that I am looking for that, even though I am if that makes sense. It’d be nice to have someone who would show interest in me, but I wouldn’t even know what to do with it were it to happen. I have eyes, and can appreciate a pretty girl and her attention. But much as I would like to, I have no time or place for that in my life right now. IF that sounds to you like justification, or me trying to convince myself of it, you’re probably at least partially right.
So even though I am not looking for girls, or to make any advances should I find one, I am always keeping an eye open for pretty girls, if that makes any sense. Just as scenery at this point. Nothing to be had during the entire bus ride. We get out and get aboard the paddleboat. 2 drink tickets per person. I have no idea what to drink, since I am not a big alcohol drinker. So I order a scotch. Neat.
“When I want water, I drink water. When I want scotch, I drink scotch!”
1st sip: “Wow, that’s some nasty stuff.”
2nd sip a half hour later: “Wow, that’s nasty stuff. But not as bad the second time around.”
I finished it, but it was the only drink I had the entire voyage, a trip that lasted 2-2.5 hours. Nurse my drink? Please. I’ve got a PHD in nursing drinks.
Ok, even I didn’t find that one funny.
So I sit down and start talking to the only other guy there and to some of the other mid-to-older aged women there. Talk is about work, which I don’t know anything about, local haunts, which I know nothing about, and the challenges of middle-aged women and ex-husbands, which I know nothing about. So I just sit and keep my mouth shut,a nd then step out onto the front open area on the boat, and take in the scenery. And I start to appreciate the moment for what it is; my first moment to rest without worrying about what needs to be done, what net challenge is around the bend. I can for a small moment in time, just appreciate this new place that I have arrived in. I don’t bother to reflect on what it took to get out here, because I don’t want to fall into the trap of “OK, what’s next” right now. I talk with Mike a bit about his future in radiology, and my hopeful future of going back to school for some writing classes or something. And then it’s time to eat!
I head downstairs, and collect my chicken fajitas and fruit, and come back upstairs. The mother hens invite me to join them, which I do graciously, and they razz me a bit about the amount of food I have taken. But considering the office I came from, I explained you had to grab what you could when you could, for fear that it would be nothing but crumbs by the time you had a chance to eat. Having nearly finished the fajitas, I am sampling some of the fruit I have collected.
One of the mother hens had been the beneficiary of a fellow co-worker’s generoisity…the mother hen had received a free weekend in Victoria BC because the co-worker couldn’t use it. I expressed my surprise at sugh great generosity, and the cautioned me, since I didn’t know what the mother hen had to do to earn it. I of course, couldn’t leave it alone, so I test the waters by stating that the fajitas go so well with the tongue I am biting.
The Mother Hen sitting next to me laughs and said, “Oh good. And I thought with men in the call center, we’d have to clean up our act.”
Thankfully I was able to spit out the grape in my mouth before I choked on it. “That’s funny. Matt never chokes on grapes at home.”
(Airplane humor for those paying attention.)
This seemed to be an appropriate time to mention my reputation, and that of “The Gutter”. I just may well fit in here after all.
Cause I’m long. And I’m strong. And I’m down to get the friction on!
Yet at some point, the conversation turns to day spas and mink coats, and bitchy girlfriends…all stuff I don’t have a lot of experience in. So I wonder off to enjoy some of the night air again, and take in the sunset and beautiful views of the river and shoreline and downtown skyline. While I am out there, I am pulled into a conversation to be introduced to a fairly cute girl in her late 20’s. Well hey! This evening just go a bonus! They introduce her as Jackie, and she asks if I want to be part of this special project to arrange non-adp sanctioned get-togethers once a week. Sure! A chance for me to get to know the town, get to know my co-workers, find a way to contribute besides just training, look like a team player…sounds great! But the way it came out was “Would you like to be part of a special project after work?”
And before I could answer, a co-worker has to jump in to clarify that she isn’t asking me out.
She kiddingly asks if I want to sleep with her.
Me: “How come this boat is taking so long to get back to the dock?”
We get to talking, and she’s obviously drunk, working on her 2nd long island iced tea, and having ahd nothing to eat. She’s touching me on the arm and on my hip and on my back. I’ve already determined that I’m not going to do anything, but use it as a chance to get some practice in, for lack of a better description. Try to see if I can figure out what sort of vibe she’s giving off, work on just carrying off small talk, etc. there are some furtive meeting of eyes, some awkward pauses, etc. And for the life of me, I can’t figure out what sort of message she’s giving me. Another girl comes over and they introduce me to her. I can’t remember her name, so I’ll call her Tammy for the moment. She’s ok, but nothing special.
She asks if I am in sales, and I explain no. She rolls her eyes at some comment I made which I can’t remember, and says “men.”
Grr. I don’t like being stereotyped with all other guys, but it’s not like I’m not guilty of it myself with women. As all of us talk, more and more of my story comes out that I just moved here, I have kids, etc…
And throughout the process, it’s as though they’ve learned I have leperosy or some such thing. Whatever interest I was picking up before is fading fast. I am slowly coming to the realization that I appeal more to potential Mother-in-law’s than I do to their daughters.
And I pull up quick to retrieve it.
Still, I am intruiged about the idea of working on this special project. Sound s like fun. And I could always do a review of said bars, beer, etc. on the Update. So I ask Jackie to tell me more about this special project, and where she ahd in mind to go.
Jackie: Oh, don’t think like that.
(Oh, you witch!)
Matt: I wasn’t thinking like that. I was just wondering what sort of place you ahd in mind, like a bar, or resteraunt..
But at this point, anything I say sounds like desperate covering of my tracks. And she’s drunk, so I ask why I am wasting my time any longer. At which point, I head back in to take a sit inside the boat and just hang out. Tammy comes back in, and looks at me, and says “Why are you always so nervous?”
My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hon.
Yeah, just what I need; another complex to spend the next 3 months figuring out in my noggin. Thanks for THAT!
Never mind the fact it’s my first social event as a single person since say….I was 18 years old!
So in some ways, it could be classified as a complete disaster. But I had fun; it was a good if mellow time. I was able to get some practice in on some rather basic or rudimentary skills I should have had well before this point for dating. And despite what other DRUNK people might think, I didn’t have anything to feel badly about. I was myself at all times, even if it was a more subdued version of myself.
I’ll leave it to you if subdued can ever be used as an adjective to describe the full version of Me.
You gotta remember. I’m not the only one in training right now. They’re all in Matt training. They’re all in the LEARN mode of M.A.T.T.
Oh, and another thing. If my having kids intimidates you, you have NO shot with me. I refuse to ever consider the kids as “baggage”, keeping me from having a relationship. It’s their baggage that they can’t handle it. I won’t ever allow myself to travel down some sort of twisted road that would make me resent my own kids.
I’m doin’ the best I ever did.
I’m doin’ the best that I can.
I’m don’ the best that I ever did.
NOW GO AWAY!
Godsmack-“Whatever”
Monday, September 19, 2005
oh, by the way....
Yarr....
According to the book "Pirattitude", my Pirate name is "Fancy Arse the Well-Endowed". this was determined by taking the third letter of my first name, the second letter of my last name, and the last letter of my last name, per the instructions in the book. (It was published in the local paper, the Oregonian.)
You'll excuse me if I get a little misty; I've never felt more aptly named.
Other than that time I was mistaken for "Magic Johnson" that is...
And I ain't crying...it's the sea-mist.
Yarr....
According to the book "Pirattitude", my Pirate name is "Fancy Arse the Well-Endowed". this was determined by taking the third letter of my first name, the second letter of my last name, and the last letter of my last name, per the instructions in the book. (It was published in the local paper, the Oregonian.)
You'll excuse me if I get a little misty; I've never felt more aptly named.
Other than that time I was mistaken for "Magic Johnson" that is...
And I ain't crying...it's the sea-mist.
Monday Night Football, Week 2 preview:
The Cowboys come off an impressive win against a decent Chargers team, in which they did just enough to earn the victory. This week, they go up against a Washington team that could not generate an offense against a decent Bears team, but whose defense is amongst the best in the NFC, maybe even the league.
The trade off is that the Cowboys aren't relying on a rookie Qb to move the ball. They've got Drew Bledsoe to lead them. I think Drew's been given a bit of a hard time over the years, and deserves a little bit of a break, really. Would history consider him a Hall of Famer? There was a time in his career it seemed likely, even almost certain. But his years in Buffalo were not kind to him. Now, re-united with Bill Parcells form their days in New England, they look to re-capture what they had. If anyone knows Bledsoe's strengths, it's Parcells. The cowboys are finally balanced. Last year,they had a running game, but no passing game to go with it. This year, they have that, even if they don't ahve the talent at WR that they should ahve to go with it. Then again, they just added Peerless Price to go opposite Keyshawn Johnson, who at this point is strictly a possesion reciever. hardly the premier guy he was with the Jets. It's that balance that will be drawn upon, because they are going to have to mix it up asnd keep Washington guessing to win the game.
There has been plenty of buzz about this rookie DE by the name of Demarcus Ware, but I have to see it first and foremost. And the most important thing for the cowboys to do tonight is to stop the run,and Clinton Portis. If they can do that, they will be in good postion to win. The Washington team you notice, changed QB's sine Patrick Ramsey couldn't get teh job done last week. Enter Mark Brunell, who didn't ahve anything left to give last year. Should we expect him to ahve anything to give this year? No. So the offense for the Washington team (I'm going to do all that I can to avoid the racial slur that this team uses) will ocnsist of Portis, Portis, Portis.
The cowboys meanwhile, should do fairly well in the air now that the corners on the Washington team are not what they were last year. Smoot is gone, replaced by aging and former Bear walt Harris. The other side ahs Seattle castoff Shawn springs. Shawn still has some game left in him, but Harris is winding down. The safeties are 2nd year guy Swawn taylor (immature) and Prioleau, who is just another guy.
When the Redskins front 7 shuts down the run, it'll be up to them to shut down the pass. This is where the cowboys ahve to succeed.
Seeing as how I don't think I got a single game right yesterday, I am going to go with the home team.
Winner: Dallas Cowboys
The Cowboys come off an impressive win against a decent Chargers team, in which they did just enough to earn the victory. This week, they go up against a Washington team that could not generate an offense against a decent Bears team, but whose defense is amongst the best in the NFC, maybe even the league.
The trade off is that the Cowboys aren't relying on a rookie Qb to move the ball. They've got Drew Bledsoe to lead them. I think Drew's been given a bit of a hard time over the years, and deserves a little bit of a break, really. Would history consider him a Hall of Famer? There was a time in his career it seemed likely, even almost certain. But his years in Buffalo were not kind to him. Now, re-united with Bill Parcells form their days in New England, they look to re-capture what they had. If anyone knows Bledsoe's strengths, it's Parcells. The cowboys are finally balanced. Last year,they had a running game, but no passing game to go with it. This year, they have that, even if they don't ahve the talent at WR that they should ahve to go with it. Then again, they just added Peerless Price to go opposite Keyshawn Johnson, who at this point is strictly a possesion reciever. hardly the premier guy he was with the Jets. It's that balance that will be drawn upon, because they are going to have to mix it up asnd keep Washington guessing to win the game.
There has been plenty of buzz about this rookie DE by the name of Demarcus Ware, but I have to see it first and foremost. And the most important thing for the cowboys to do tonight is to stop the run,and Clinton Portis. If they can do that, they will be in good postion to win. The Washington team you notice, changed QB's sine Patrick Ramsey couldn't get teh job done last week. Enter Mark Brunell, who didn't ahve anything left to give last year. Should we expect him to ahve anything to give this year? No. So the offense for the Washington team (I'm going to do all that I can to avoid the racial slur that this team uses) will ocnsist of Portis, Portis, Portis.
The cowboys meanwhile, should do fairly well in the air now that the corners on the Washington team are not what they were last year. Smoot is gone, replaced by aging and former Bear walt Harris. The other side ahs Seattle castoff Shawn springs. Shawn still has some game left in him, but Harris is winding down. The safeties are 2nd year guy Swawn taylor (immature) and Prioleau, who is just another guy.
When the Redskins front 7 shuts down the run, it'll be up to them to shut down the pass. This is where the cowboys ahve to succeed.
Seeing as how I don't think I got a single game right yesterday, I am going to go with the home team.
Winner: Dallas Cowboys
Song of the day:
I'm back in the saddle again
Out where a friend is a friend
Where the longhorn cattle feed
On the lowly gypsum weed
Back in the saddle again
Ridin' the range once more
Totin' my old .44
Where you sleep out every night
And the only law is right
Back in the saddle again
Whoopi-ky-aye-oh
Rockin' to and fro
Back in the saddle again
Whoopi-ky-aye-yay
I go my way
Back in the saddle again
-Gene Autry, "Back in the saddle again"
This day in history:
In 1793, President Washington laid the cornerstone of the U.S. Capitol. But before you judge, haven't we all been there at some point? You see a fine piece of granite,and the moon hits your eye just right, and it gleams in that special way...pity the poor masons who had to clean up afterwards, though. Nowadays, the cornerstone would write a tell-all book about something like that.
In 1810, Chile declared its independence from Spain.
See? There is a reason that this is important to you. More countries = more pretty women in beauty pagents! Hell, LET the south rise again. (Oops, my bad. Upon further inspection, it HAS. (In my pants.))
Wait, is that legal? Can he parenthasize something alredy paranthasized?
I can. You cannot. Because I have it on good authority I am just that damn good. Speaking of the South seceeding...
In 1850, Congress passed the Fugitive Slave Act, which allowed slaveowners to reclaim slaves who had escaped to other states. That before is what we call in the writing business a "segue". Pronounced "SEG-way".
So you're a slave. And you run away. And you runaway, adn just when you think you've ran far enough you're caught. If you thought life as a slave was bad before, it's about to get worse.
In 1851, the first edition of The New York Times was published. The crossword puzzle was still, like, bitchin' hard. "A five letter word for transition from one topic to another? Man...I wish there were some sort of multimedia falsely labelled column to guide me, providing humor, pathos, and opinion whenever the bastard writer sought fit to provide it. Instead, I'll have to go out and split wood for the winter."
In 1927, the Columbia Phonograph Broadcasting System (later CBS) made its debut with a basic network of 16 radio stations. Even then, only people older than 50 listened to it, tuning in for Matlock.
In 1947, the National Security Act, which unified the Army, Navy and newly formed Air Force into a National Military Establishment, went into effect.
In 1965, the situation comedies "I Dream of Jeannie" and "Get Smart" premiered on NBC. See? Something you have in common with your parents. NBC provided crappy shows back then, too.
In 1970, rock star Jimi Hendrix died in London at age 27.
In 1975, newspaper heiress Patricia Hearst was captured by the FBI in San Francisco, 19 months after being kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army.
Today's birthdays:
In 1975, newspaper heiress Patricia Hearst was captured by the FBI in San Francisco, 19 months after being kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army. So at least that had a happy ending. (rolls eyes.)
Today's birthdays:
Actor Walter Koenig is 69.
She said she was clean, but I've got warts that say otherwise!
My apologies to Walter, for that.
Actor Sam Neill is 58.
He would have liked to have seen Montana. (See: Red October, The Hunt for. )
Actress Mary Crosby is 46.
Space Herpes. (See: Koenig, Walter)
If you haven't seen it, you shold, if only for the really stupid humor. Ifyou have seen it, you know what I am talking about. It has that one vaguely famous gay guy, and a bunch of guys who could ahve done more, but didn't...
Yeah, who was that gay guy you were talking about?
LIsten, I am trying to write here, and crank this out. i don't ahve alot of time to do this. I still have an NFL preview to do. Are you going to do this the entire time or what?
Well, yeah. It's my job. I'm the voice inside your head. And would it hurt you to clean a little in here? It's FILTHY!
I swear I'm gonna stabyou with a pair of scissors one of these days.
Singer Morten Harket (a-ha) is 46.
Oooh! I love their songs! Taaaaaake oooooon me! Take on me!
Taaaaaake meeeeee ooooon! Take on me!
Shut up.
Shut up. Shut UP! SHUT UP!
Besides, upon further insepction, these birthdays were for August 14. Idgit.
TODAYS REAL BIRTHDAYS:
Actor Robert Blake is 72.
Now rooming with Orenthal. As in Simpson.
No, not really. Yes. I just wasted your time with not only a robert Blake joke, but with an OJ Simpson joke. But I didn't involve Baretta, so you can show a little gratitude!
Singer Frankie Avalon is 65.
I wa-wa-wa-wa-wonder...
why...
a wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-why...
she ran away...
and I wonder
where she will sta-ee-ay
my little runaway...
a run-run-run-runaway
Oh, wait. That was Del Shannon. Screw Frankie Avalon.
Actor James Gandolfini is 44.
Actress Jada Pinkett Smith is 34.
Actor James Marsden is 32.
An extra pic for those of you that like this kind of thing. Never say I don't do anything for you.
Actress Alison Lohman is 26.
Word of the Day:
circumlocution \sir-kuhm-loh-KYOO-shuhn\, noun:
The use of many words to express an idea that might be expressed by few; indirect or roundabout language
Random Picture of Roselyn Sanchez:
And here she is again!
Shakespeare Quote of the day:
"If I lose mine honour, I lose myself"
Antony & Cleopatra, Act III, Sc.4
NFL Week 2:
You know, I gotta get these out sooner. Like, on Fridays, or something. That way, those of you who only read this at work have a chance to catch my wisdom before, and not after the games. We'll try to work on that this week. Meanwhile, this past week, I went 8-8. Which means that I am as good at predicting football games as a quarter. We'll try to improve upon that this week, now that we have a better idea of what we're working with.
New England Patriots @ Carolina Panthers
The patriots proved taht even with all of the losses they had over the off-season, they are still the team to beat. They have managed to overcome the loss of both coordinators, and still come out with master gameplans that allow them to win. And givent hat they played 10 days ago, they have had extra time to scheme for Carolina. A Carolina team taht lost an important cog up front in Kris Jenkins at DT. The Carolina defense is fast and aggressive, so I might expect a few screens from the Patriots to counter-act that. I thnk Carolina is going to be better off using the speed they have at WR with Steve Smith and hitting the outsie part of the field, rather than trying to pound it up the middle. Maybe wear out some of those guys on defense.
I'm in a 'Risky Business' kind of mood today. "Sometimes you have to say "What the F***."
I have no real reason to pick Carolina to win over the Patriots, and end whatever sort of winning streak they are on. BUt I ahve a gut feeling that tells me to go with Carolina today. IF they fall to 0-2 in this division, it may be hard to dust themselves off.
Winner: Carolina Panthers
Detroit Lions @ Chicago Bears
Well well well....looks as though the Lions defense is starting to approach respectability. Or they were tearing open larger wounds on the already wounded animal of the Packers offense. Either way, andy time the Packers lose, I'll take it. IT was fun to see Favre so flummoxed. The offense for the Lions wasn't in sync, and I have to hope that continues this week. The Bears defense took a bend but don't break approach against the Redskins, giving up yards, but not points. They want to do better, and to do that, they'll need ot stop the run. I thnk they'll look to press the Lions WR's as well, to force tighter spaces for Harrington to throw to. He had the right idea last week; he moved to the TE plenty, and did well enough to at least win the game. Meanwhile, the Bears still have no offense at all. 41 rushing yards was the total last week. The Redskins shut down the run, and dared the BEars to pass. (Just like I said...because it was the obvious thing to do.) Well, the Bears couldn't pass. More of the smae this week.
Winner: Detroit Lions
Minnesota Vikings @ Cincinnatti Bengals
So just how bad is the Vikings offense? They are as bad as their offensive line is, pure and simple. IF they can be halfway decent, this team is playoff bound. HTey may not win the division, but they are headed for the playoffs. BUt if they are really as bad as they were last week, they very well could end up out of the playoffs, and if that happens, looking for a new coach. The defense looked to be better, but again, is hardly a finished product, and reminds noone of the Vikings defense of the late 80's and early 90's with Doleman, Millard, etc. I still don't trust the LB'ers to knwo what they are doing. But that's not the importnat matchup.
The important matchup is the Vikings defensive line against the Bengals offensive line. IF the Vikes can generate pressure on Palmer, the Vikings corners are good enough to take away Chad Johnson, forcing the Bengals to look elsewhere. And there just aren't alot of weapons in the Bengals arsenal.
Boy, i am going to regret this I think, but I am going to say the Vikings win this one, but it's gonna be sloppy.
Winner: Minnesota Vikings
Pittsburgh Steelers @ Houston Texans
The Houston Texans got beat by JP Losman. I am so very disapointed. No breakdown here.
Winner: Pittsburgh Steelers
Jacksonville Jaguars @ Indianapolis Colts
The Colts are on fire right now, and the defense is rounding into shape for them. NOt much to offer here for breakdown, either.
Winner: INdianapolis COlts
New York Giants vs. NEw Orleans Saints
This game has been bumped to Monday Night, but we'll cover it here, anyway. You'll notice that I didn't use the @ sign between the two teams. Well, it's i New York, though somehow it's a homegame for the Saints. I wonder if the Saints get the gate reciepts then?
It's also relief week for the NFL to contribute to the Hurricane Katrina recovery effort. THat's all well and good to have it in New York- people there actually have an income, much less a disposable one, rather than try to get money out of the folks in LA. But it lacks any emotion of feeling.
I am doing this on the wrong week for the Saints, I believe, but here we go again with the 'Risky Business" attitude.
Winner: New Orlenas Saints, who have a bit of a chip on their shoulder about the whole thing.
San Fransisco 49ers @ Philadelphia Eagles
What? No cracks in the McNabb-Owens relationship yet? It's like watching a Tommy Lee marriage; you'r just waiting for it to fall apart. Anyway,the 49ers are still bad, even if they beat up a sloppy Rams team last week.
Besides, there's this:
Winner: Philadelphia Eagles.
Buffalo Bills @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Is JP Losman still starting? OK then. Besides, after what we saw from Tampa Last week, no reason to go against them just yet.
Winner: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Baltimore Ravens @ Tennesee Titans
I think the bluster over the Ravens defense is starting to blow over. Particularly about Ray Lewis. He's great, but on the decline, methinks. Remeber when this wa a matchup that you savored? Lots of hard hitting,a nd bad feelings on both sides? Those were the days. BUt he Titans right now are not what they should be. McNair was on the verge of retiring in the off-season, so I think this season may just force him out. The Titans best chance is to ruin run run, but that is just what Baltimore plays best against.
Winner: Baltimore Ravens
St Louis Rams @ Arizona Cardinals
Ok Rams. You get one reprieve. If you suck again this week, we've gonna have to talk. THe Rams defense is noting special, and the strength of the Cardinals is in the offense. BUt he Cards offense striuggled last week, and the defense got overwhelmed by a Giants offense. The Rams have more talent on offense than that, so I FULLY EXPECT the Rams to win this game. I'm talking to you, Mike Martz. PLus, I still get a guilty pleasure outof seeing Denny Green lose games.
Winner: St Louis Rams.
Atlanta Falcons @ Seattle Seahawks
I'm so hard to please. well, no, not really. Actually, ...never mind.
What I mean to say is that I haven't seen enough from Vick yet to believe he's improved as a passer. I have no problem with him running around an making plays. I just want to see more accuracy and better decisions by him. But he doesn't look like he's goping to develop into a QB who is going to throw for 300+ yards every week.
Seattle? OH, man. they got QB problems of their own. At one time Hasselbeck was on the verge of becoming a top-flite QB. And I remember where it veered course on him. iT was that playoff game against the Packers, where he said that they were going to take the bal and score and win in overtime. And then he went out and threw a pick that got ran back for a TD, and that was the end of the game.
It's not entirely his fault though...it just one of those things. BUt it was a pivotal moment that brought him to this point where he is struggling. He's trying to do too much and in doing so, he does more harm than good.
Winner: Atlanta Falcons
San Diego Chargers @ Denver Broncos
Wow...Denver is really falling apart. So much so that I can't pick them today. Ladanian Tomlinsona nd Brees take it to a defense in disarray, and the Chargers defense focus on shutting down the run. Remember when PLuumer was talked about as the next great QB on the verge? Yeah, about that....uh....we take it back.
Winner: San Diego Chargers
Cleveland Browns @ Green Bay Packers
Since the Packers stunk it up lat week (and I loved every moment of it), you ahve to ask just how bad are they oging to be? Could this be a complete collapse and reversion to the pre-Brett days? PLease, please bring back Tony Mandrich! The loss of Javon Walker only makes it that much more possible, seeing as how they don't have the WR's they used to.
Well, this week will go a long ways towrds figuring that out. If they lose to the Browns...well, noone should really lose to the Browns,a s I see it. It's nothing against Cleveland...it's perfectly fine for them to have a team. BUt such ugly uniforms, and such an ugly name...I can't cheer for the Browns. Unless they're playing the Packers.
Winner: Green Bay Packers, but I don't mind being wrong
Miami Dolphins @ New York Jets
The Jets look to be in major troule, laying an egg against the Chiefs last week. The Dolphins defense isn't as aggressive as they one were, nor as much as the Chiefs are. BUt they are aggessive enough for a shaky QB. I am not jumping on the Saban bandwagon just yet...I don't think he's solved all of the Dolphins problems overnight, like the fellows at ESPN will have you believe. But they are good enough to win this week in New York.
Winner: Miami Dolphins
Kansas City Chiefs @ Oakland Raiders
I really hope Patrick Surtain can play tonight, because I'd like to see him line up against Moss, and see what he can do. It's going to be a game worthy of all the previous Chiefs-Raiders games, and I hope that the players feel the intensity. I don't thimk the Raiders are going to be able to stop the Chiefs run game, adn that will be major, since the Chiefs will use that to keep the ball out of the Raiders hands on offense.
Winner: Kansas City Chiefs
Monday night review to come later.
I'm back in the saddle again
Out where a friend is a friend
Where the longhorn cattle feed
On the lowly gypsum weed
Back in the saddle again
Ridin' the range once more
Totin' my old .44
Where you sleep out every night
And the only law is right
Back in the saddle again
Whoopi-ky-aye-oh
Rockin' to and fro
Back in the saddle again
Whoopi-ky-aye-yay
I go my way
Back in the saddle again
-Gene Autry, "Back in the saddle again"
This day in history:
In 1793, President Washington laid the cornerstone of the U.S. Capitol. But before you judge, haven't we all been there at some point? You see a fine piece of granite,and the moon hits your eye just right, and it gleams in that special way...pity the poor masons who had to clean up afterwards, though. Nowadays, the cornerstone would write a tell-all book about something like that.
In 1810, Chile declared its independence from Spain.
See? There is a reason that this is important to you. More countries = more pretty women in beauty pagents! Hell, LET the south rise again. (Oops, my bad. Upon further inspection, it HAS. (In my pants.))
Wait, is that legal? Can he parenthasize something alredy paranthasized?
I can. You cannot. Because I have it on good authority I am just that damn good. Speaking of the South seceeding...
In 1850, Congress passed the Fugitive Slave Act, which allowed slaveowners to reclaim slaves who had escaped to other states. That before is what we call in the writing business a "segue". Pronounced "SEG-way".
So you're a slave. And you run away. And you runaway, adn just when you think you've ran far enough you're caught. If you thought life as a slave was bad before, it's about to get worse.
In 1851, the first edition of The New York Times was published. The crossword puzzle was still, like, bitchin' hard. "A five letter word for transition from one topic to another? Man...I wish there were some sort of multimedia falsely labelled column to guide me, providing humor, pathos, and opinion whenever the bastard writer sought fit to provide it. Instead, I'll have to go out and split wood for the winter."
In 1927, the Columbia Phonograph Broadcasting System (later CBS) made its debut with a basic network of 16 radio stations. Even then, only people older than 50 listened to it, tuning in for Matlock.
In 1947, the National Security Act, which unified the Army, Navy and newly formed Air Force into a National Military Establishment, went into effect.
In 1965, the situation comedies "I Dream of Jeannie" and "Get Smart" premiered on NBC. See? Something you have in common with your parents. NBC provided crappy shows back then, too.
In 1970, rock star Jimi Hendrix died in London at age 27.
In 1975, newspaper heiress Patricia Hearst was captured by the FBI in San Francisco, 19 months after being kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army.
Today's birthdays:
In 1975, newspaper heiress Patricia Hearst was captured by the FBI in San Francisco, 19 months after being kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army. So at least that had a happy ending. (rolls eyes.)
Today's birthdays:
Actor Walter Koenig is 69.
She said she was clean, but I've got warts that say otherwise!
My apologies to Walter, for that.
Actor Sam Neill is 58.
He would have liked to have seen Montana. (See: Red October, The Hunt for. )
Actress Mary Crosby is 46.
Space Herpes. (See: Koenig, Walter)
If you haven't seen it, you shold, if only for the really stupid humor. Ifyou have seen it, you know what I am talking about. It has that one vaguely famous gay guy, and a bunch of guys who could ahve done more, but didn't...
Yeah, who was that gay guy you were talking about?
LIsten, I am trying to write here, and crank this out. i don't ahve alot of time to do this. I still have an NFL preview to do. Are you going to do this the entire time or what?
Well, yeah. It's my job. I'm the voice inside your head. And would it hurt you to clean a little in here? It's FILTHY!
I swear I'm gonna stabyou with a pair of scissors one of these days.
Singer Morten Harket (a-ha) is 46.
Oooh! I love their songs! Taaaaaake oooooon me! Take on me!
Taaaaaake meeeeee ooooon! Take on me!
Shut up.
Shut up. Shut UP! SHUT UP!
Besides, upon further insepction, these birthdays were for August 14. Idgit.
TODAYS REAL BIRTHDAYS:
Actor Robert Blake is 72.
Now rooming with Orenthal. As in Simpson.
No, not really. Yes. I just wasted your time with not only a robert Blake joke, but with an OJ Simpson joke. But I didn't involve Baretta, so you can show a little gratitude!
Singer Frankie Avalon is 65.
I wa-wa-wa-wa-wonder...
why...
a wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-why...
she ran away...
and I wonder
where she will sta-ee-ay
my little runaway...
a run-run-run-runaway
Oh, wait. That was Del Shannon. Screw Frankie Avalon.
Actor James Gandolfini is 44.
Actress Jada Pinkett Smith is 34.
Actor James Marsden is 32.
An extra pic for those of you that like this kind of thing. Never say I don't do anything for you.
Actress Alison Lohman is 26.
Word of the Day:
circumlocution \sir-kuhm-loh-KYOO-shuhn\, noun:
The use of many words to express an idea that might be expressed by few; indirect or roundabout language
Random Picture of Roselyn Sanchez:
And here she is again!
Shakespeare Quote of the day:
"If I lose mine honour, I lose myself"
Antony & Cleopatra, Act III, Sc.4
NFL Week 2:
You know, I gotta get these out sooner. Like, on Fridays, or something. That way, those of you who only read this at work have a chance to catch my wisdom before, and not after the games. We'll try to work on that this week. Meanwhile, this past week, I went 8-8. Which means that I am as good at predicting football games as a quarter. We'll try to improve upon that this week, now that we have a better idea of what we're working with.
New England Patriots @ Carolina Panthers
The patriots proved taht even with all of the losses they had over the off-season, they are still the team to beat. They have managed to overcome the loss of both coordinators, and still come out with master gameplans that allow them to win. And givent hat they played 10 days ago, they have had extra time to scheme for Carolina. A Carolina team taht lost an important cog up front in Kris Jenkins at DT. The Carolina defense is fast and aggressive, so I might expect a few screens from the Patriots to counter-act that. I thnk Carolina is going to be better off using the speed they have at WR with Steve Smith and hitting the outsie part of the field, rather than trying to pound it up the middle. Maybe wear out some of those guys on defense.
I'm in a 'Risky Business' kind of mood today. "Sometimes you have to say "What the F***."
I have no real reason to pick Carolina to win over the Patriots, and end whatever sort of winning streak they are on. BUt I ahve a gut feeling that tells me to go with Carolina today. IF they fall to 0-2 in this division, it may be hard to dust themselves off.
Winner: Carolina Panthers
Detroit Lions @ Chicago Bears
Well well well....looks as though the Lions defense is starting to approach respectability. Or they were tearing open larger wounds on the already wounded animal of the Packers offense. Either way, andy time the Packers lose, I'll take it. IT was fun to see Favre so flummoxed. The offense for the Lions wasn't in sync, and I have to hope that continues this week. The Bears defense took a bend but don't break approach against the Redskins, giving up yards, but not points. They want to do better, and to do that, they'll need ot stop the run. I thnk they'll look to press the Lions WR's as well, to force tighter spaces for Harrington to throw to. He had the right idea last week; he moved to the TE plenty, and did well enough to at least win the game. Meanwhile, the Bears still have no offense at all. 41 rushing yards was the total last week. The Redskins shut down the run, and dared the BEars to pass. (Just like I said...because it was the obvious thing to do.) Well, the Bears couldn't pass. More of the smae this week.
Winner: Detroit Lions
Minnesota Vikings @ Cincinnatti Bengals
So just how bad is the Vikings offense? They are as bad as their offensive line is, pure and simple. IF they can be halfway decent, this team is playoff bound. HTey may not win the division, but they are headed for the playoffs. BUt if they are really as bad as they were last week, they very well could end up out of the playoffs, and if that happens, looking for a new coach. The defense looked to be better, but again, is hardly a finished product, and reminds noone of the Vikings defense of the late 80's and early 90's with Doleman, Millard, etc. I still don't trust the LB'ers to knwo what they are doing. But that's not the importnat matchup.
The important matchup is the Vikings defensive line against the Bengals offensive line. IF the Vikes can generate pressure on Palmer, the Vikings corners are good enough to take away Chad Johnson, forcing the Bengals to look elsewhere. And there just aren't alot of weapons in the Bengals arsenal.
Boy, i am going to regret this I think, but I am going to say the Vikings win this one, but it's gonna be sloppy.
Winner: Minnesota Vikings
Pittsburgh Steelers @ Houston Texans
The Houston Texans got beat by JP Losman. I am so very disapointed. No breakdown here.
Winner: Pittsburgh Steelers
Jacksonville Jaguars @ Indianapolis Colts
The Colts are on fire right now, and the defense is rounding into shape for them. NOt much to offer here for breakdown, either.
Winner: INdianapolis COlts
New York Giants vs. NEw Orleans Saints
This game has been bumped to Monday Night, but we'll cover it here, anyway. You'll notice that I didn't use the @ sign between the two teams. Well, it's i New York, though somehow it's a homegame for the Saints. I wonder if the Saints get the gate reciepts then?
It's also relief week for the NFL to contribute to the Hurricane Katrina recovery effort. THat's all well and good to have it in New York- people there actually have an income, much less a disposable one, rather than try to get money out of the folks in LA. But it lacks any emotion of feeling.
I am doing this on the wrong week for the Saints, I believe, but here we go again with the 'Risky Business" attitude.
Winner: New Orlenas Saints, who have a bit of a chip on their shoulder about the whole thing.
San Fransisco 49ers @ Philadelphia Eagles
What? No cracks in the McNabb-Owens relationship yet? It's like watching a Tommy Lee marriage; you'r just waiting for it to fall apart. Anyway,the 49ers are still bad, even if they beat up a sloppy Rams team last week.
Besides, there's this:
Winner: Philadelphia Eagles.
Buffalo Bills @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Is JP Losman still starting? OK then. Besides, after what we saw from Tampa Last week, no reason to go against them just yet.
Winner: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Baltimore Ravens @ Tennesee Titans
I think the bluster over the Ravens defense is starting to blow over. Particularly about Ray Lewis. He's great, but on the decline, methinks. Remeber when this wa a matchup that you savored? Lots of hard hitting,a nd bad feelings on both sides? Those were the days. BUt he Titans right now are not what they should be. McNair was on the verge of retiring in the off-season, so I think this season may just force him out. The Titans best chance is to ruin run run, but that is just what Baltimore plays best against.
Winner: Baltimore Ravens
St Louis Rams @ Arizona Cardinals
Ok Rams. You get one reprieve. If you suck again this week, we've gonna have to talk. THe Rams defense is noting special, and the strength of the Cardinals is in the offense. BUt he Cards offense striuggled last week, and the defense got overwhelmed by a Giants offense. The Rams have more talent on offense than that, so I FULLY EXPECT the Rams to win this game. I'm talking to you, Mike Martz. PLus, I still get a guilty pleasure outof seeing Denny Green lose games.
Winner: St Louis Rams.
Atlanta Falcons @ Seattle Seahawks
I'm so hard to please. well, no, not really. Actually, ...never mind.
What I mean to say is that I haven't seen enough from Vick yet to believe he's improved as a passer. I have no problem with him running around an making plays. I just want to see more accuracy and better decisions by him. But he doesn't look like he's goping to develop into a QB who is going to throw for 300+ yards every week.
Seattle? OH, man. they got QB problems of their own. At one time Hasselbeck was on the verge of becoming a top-flite QB. And I remember where it veered course on him. iT was that playoff game against the Packers, where he said that they were going to take the bal and score and win in overtime. And then he went out and threw a pick that got ran back for a TD, and that was the end of the game.
It's not entirely his fault though...it just one of those things. BUt it was a pivotal moment that brought him to this point where he is struggling. He's trying to do too much and in doing so, he does more harm than good.
Winner: Atlanta Falcons
San Diego Chargers @ Denver Broncos
Wow...Denver is really falling apart. So much so that I can't pick them today. Ladanian Tomlinsona nd Brees take it to a defense in disarray, and the Chargers defense focus on shutting down the run. Remember when PLuumer was talked about as the next great QB on the verge? Yeah, about that....uh....we take it back.
Winner: San Diego Chargers
Cleveland Browns @ Green Bay Packers
Since the Packers stunk it up lat week (and I loved every moment of it), you ahve to ask just how bad are they oging to be? Could this be a complete collapse and reversion to the pre-Brett days? PLease, please bring back Tony Mandrich! The loss of Javon Walker only makes it that much more possible, seeing as how they don't have the WR's they used to.
Well, this week will go a long ways towrds figuring that out. If they lose to the Browns...well, noone should really lose to the Browns,a s I see it. It's nothing against Cleveland...it's perfectly fine for them to have a team. BUt such ugly uniforms, and such an ugly name...I can't cheer for the Browns. Unless they're playing the Packers.
Winner: Green Bay Packers, but I don't mind being wrong
Miami Dolphins @ New York Jets
The Jets look to be in major troule, laying an egg against the Chiefs last week. The Dolphins defense isn't as aggressive as they one were, nor as much as the Chiefs are. BUt they are aggessive enough for a shaky QB. I am not jumping on the Saban bandwagon just yet...I don't think he's solved all of the Dolphins problems overnight, like the fellows at ESPN will have you believe. But they are good enough to win this week in New York.
Winner: Miami Dolphins
Kansas City Chiefs @ Oakland Raiders
I really hope Patrick Surtain can play tonight, because I'd like to see him line up against Moss, and see what he can do. It's going to be a game worthy of all the previous Chiefs-Raiders games, and I hope that the players feel the intensity. I don't thimk the Raiders are going to be able to stop the Chiefs run game, adn that will be major, since the Chiefs will use that to keep the ball out of the Raiders hands on offense.
Winner: Kansas City Chiefs
Monday night review to come later.
