Monday, February 16, 2004
I read in the paper the other day that there is a local husband whose wife is serving overseas in Iraq. Seems he got a call the other day informing him that his wife died. After verifying with the Armed Services and a media crew, he was able to talk to his wife to verify that she was indeed alive. Turns out that someone pulled a prank at his expense.
See....pranks are supposed to be funny. Water baloons are funny. Tee Pee'ing a house is cliche' but relatively harmless. This wasn't funny. This was playing with the base emotions of a man whose already on edge. Whomever has been so callous deserves to do some time for this. 5 to 10 years seems the right amount of time to think about the damage they've done.
Anyway, back to our Model bios.
Fernanda Motta is from Rio de Janerio. In 10 years she wants to be a mother, and selling something with her name on it. Autographed copies of a Gentlemen's magazine seems appropriate.
Carolyn Murphy has a boyfriend who is the lead singer for Incubus. Just another case of a rich guy getting richer. I hate Incubus.
25 year old Petra Nemcova likes to go scuba diving, which I find very coincedental, because I like diving down too! But then, don't we all?
Daniela Pestova would ahve been an elementary school teacher, had she not been a model. Now, I remember a few student teachers passing through when I was going to school, but I'm not entirely sure my senses could have taken Mrs. Pestova. She's probably better off as a model.
Frankie Rayder knows her baseball, and has some hauntingly sinful eyes. But she's hiding something behind those smoldering eyes. She's from WISCONSIN. (DUHN-DUN DUUUUUUHN.) And the person she'd most like to meet is a devil's henchman....Brett Favre.
Molly Sims doesn't suffer from any sort of delusion, growing up in Murray, Kentucky. Murray Kentucky has a Cracker Barrel resteraunt, that allegedly feeds a family of four. well, sure. If the mom is a supermodel who eats the crackers and nothing else. Still, if she can look that good just eating crackers, maybe I should give it a try.
Veronica Varekova tsk tsk, Veronica. She smokes cigarettes. There's a spanking in your future. Only in my dreams? Who told? Having never had to work before, maybe I could suggest a couple of jobs you could do. Ok, now that was just vulgar and I apologize. Wanna spank me?
(Sorry. )
Jessica Van Der Steen was once a ball girl for the Royal Antwerp Football Club. Uh..... I think there's been enough double entendre' for one night. Her mother told her that she looked like Miss Piggy when she was growing up. Well, I dunno about when she was growing up, but she looks like grade A pork material to me.
Jessica White. Buffalo, New York. Wants to meet Halle Berry. Jessica, I'd like to meet the both of you. And I don't even care if I have to be in a hospital bed to see it happen.
The Issue then follows up with a story on the overrated Jimmy Buffet. Why? Why is this here? Why wouldI read this? Argh. You're getting in the way of my gawking! This is just not right!
Then we get tothe Adriondacks, NY for a shoot. Highlights include Carolyn Murphy stretched out with a mesh top, and what appeas to be chafed nipples. Here, let me apply some lotion to help with that. What do you mean "Comply with the retraining order"? You try to be a help around here....
She also appears topless a few pages later, sporting some adidas kickers, reminiscent of the ones Run DMC wore in the old Walk this Way video with Aerosmith. Carolyn, if you and I were ever caught in a lift, you can bet that there'd be some "Love in an elevator." Oh, sure, it'd be "tricky", but "It's like that, and that's the way it is."
Fernanda Motta needs help out of the water, Molly Sims is showing through a smoky black shirt, and Frankie Ryder isn't modeling any suit other than her birthday one. it's extremely nice, but I've yet to find it in any store.
Montauk NY checks in with legendary photographer Walter Iooss Jr. Probably the greatest sports photographer of our time, this should be some masterful shots here.
Oh.
Oh my.
Elsa Benitez leans against a surfboard with arms crossed, top off, and generating enough heat to cause this page to spontaneously combust. The man on the opposite page int eh Davidoff Coo Water perfume ad is well placed, able to use his water supply to counteract the smoldering hotness of Ms. Benitez. Lucky bastard. I'll ahve to superimpose my own picture over his.
Jessca White has a couple of lobsters, heart infused bikini bottoms with what can only be decribed as the most ridiculous (ingenious?) pair of denim cutoffs, and a white bikini top. Let's just save time and dip them all in drawn butter, and sort it all out later.
Ahhh...the body paint section. There is some masterful brush work here, but the best is Noemie Lenoir, who looks like she is removing a shirt which really isnt there. I just KNEW I should have paid attention in art class.
Lake Powell Arizona has it's own section, and Angela LIndvall is modelling.... a tire. I kid you not. Apparetly her cleaveage was misplaced for some sort of tire rack, becaus it's resting right between them, while her swimsuit is strwn on the ground beneath her.
And then a section on Anna Kournikova. Nothing. Nothing worth reporting on at all. My opinion stands. Oh-ver rate-ted.
IS that all that I'm to report on? Oh no. Much more material to grab. But it will have ot wait until tomorrow. I'm bing summoned to bed, lset my typing keep anyone awake any longer. tomorrow: The farce of a Sports Illustrated Hall of Fame, though not for the reasons you might think.
See....pranks are supposed to be funny. Water baloons are funny. Tee Pee'ing a house is cliche' but relatively harmless. This wasn't funny. This was playing with the base emotions of a man whose already on edge. Whomever has been so callous deserves to do some time for this. 5 to 10 years seems the right amount of time to think about the damage they've done.
Anyway, back to our Model bios.
Fernanda Motta is from Rio de Janerio. In 10 years she wants to be a mother, and selling something with her name on it. Autographed copies of a Gentlemen's magazine seems appropriate.
Carolyn Murphy has a boyfriend who is the lead singer for Incubus. Just another case of a rich guy getting richer. I hate Incubus.
25 year old Petra Nemcova likes to go scuba diving, which I find very coincedental, because I like diving down too! But then, don't we all?
Daniela Pestova would ahve been an elementary school teacher, had she not been a model. Now, I remember a few student teachers passing through when I was going to school, but I'm not entirely sure my senses could have taken Mrs. Pestova. She's probably better off as a model.
Frankie Rayder knows her baseball, and has some hauntingly sinful eyes. But she's hiding something behind those smoldering eyes. She's from WISCONSIN. (DUHN-DUN DUUUUUUHN.) And the person she'd most like to meet is a devil's henchman....Brett Favre.
Molly Sims doesn't suffer from any sort of delusion, growing up in Murray, Kentucky. Murray Kentucky has a Cracker Barrel resteraunt, that allegedly feeds a family of four. well, sure. If the mom is a supermodel who eats the crackers and nothing else. Still, if she can look that good just eating crackers, maybe I should give it a try.
Veronica Varekova tsk tsk, Veronica. She smokes cigarettes. There's a spanking in your future. Only in my dreams? Who told? Having never had to work before, maybe I could suggest a couple of jobs you could do. Ok, now that was just vulgar and I apologize. Wanna spank me?
(Sorry. )
Jessica Van Der Steen was once a ball girl for the Royal Antwerp Football Club. Uh..... I think there's been enough double entendre' for one night. Her mother told her that she looked like Miss Piggy when she was growing up. Well, I dunno about when she was growing up, but she looks like grade A pork material to me.
Jessica White. Buffalo, New York. Wants to meet Halle Berry. Jessica, I'd like to meet the both of you. And I don't even care if I have to be in a hospital bed to see it happen.
The Issue then follows up with a story on the overrated Jimmy Buffet. Why? Why is this here? Why wouldI read this? Argh. You're getting in the way of my gawking! This is just not right!
Then we get tothe Adriondacks, NY for a shoot. Highlights include Carolyn Murphy stretched out with a mesh top, and what appeas to be chafed nipples. Here, let me apply some lotion to help with that. What do you mean "Comply with the retraining order"? You try to be a help around here....
She also appears topless a few pages later, sporting some adidas kickers, reminiscent of the ones Run DMC wore in the old Walk this Way video with Aerosmith. Carolyn, if you and I were ever caught in a lift, you can bet that there'd be some "Love in an elevator." Oh, sure, it'd be "tricky", but "It's like that, and that's the way it is."
Fernanda Motta needs help out of the water, Molly Sims is showing through a smoky black shirt, and Frankie Ryder isn't modeling any suit other than her birthday one. it's extremely nice, but I've yet to find it in any store.
Montauk NY checks in with legendary photographer Walter Iooss Jr. Probably the greatest sports photographer of our time, this should be some masterful shots here.
Oh.
Oh my.
Elsa Benitez leans against a surfboard with arms crossed, top off, and generating enough heat to cause this page to spontaneously combust. The man on the opposite page int eh Davidoff Coo Water perfume ad is well placed, able to use his water supply to counteract the smoldering hotness of Ms. Benitez. Lucky bastard. I'll ahve to superimpose my own picture over his.
Jessca White has a couple of lobsters, heart infused bikini bottoms with what can only be decribed as the most ridiculous (ingenious?) pair of denim cutoffs, and a white bikini top. Let's just save time and dip them all in drawn butter, and sort it all out later.
Ahhh...the body paint section. There is some masterful brush work here, but the best is Noemie Lenoir, who looks like she is removing a shirt which really isnt there. I just KNEW I should have paid attention in art class.
Lake Powell Arizona has it's own section, and Angela LIndvall is modelling.... a tire. I kid you not. Apparetly her cleaveage was misplaced for some sort of tire rack, becaus it's resting right between them, while her swimsuit is strwn on the ground beneath her.
And then a section on Anna Kournikova. Nothing. Nothing worth reporting on at all. My opinion stands. Oh-ver rate-ted.
IS that all that I'm to report on? Oh no. Much more material to grab. But it will have ot wait until tomorrow. I'm bing summoned to bed, lset my typing keep anyone awake any longer. tomorrow: The farce of a Sports Illustrated Hall of Fame, though not for the reasons you might think.
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