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Monday, February 02, 2004

OK, I am posting later than I thought, but we'll make up for it with alot of content.

I made a point of writing down as many websites as I could from the Super Bowl commercials, and you'll see those to the right. It's up to you to decide which are worthy of clicking on. You've been warned; there were commercials for male intamacy issues.

So here are the notes:

PREGAME:

Super Bowl Sunday is an unnofficial Holiday, and needs to become a national holiday on the level of Christmas and Thanksgiving. Give everyone the day off who doesn't normally have Sundays off. Shut down businesses, like Supermarkets, and resteraunts, and Department stores, and malls.

The tough part of the day for myself is that you traditionally ahve a feast of snack foods, and chili, and hot dogs, and burgers, and other foodstuffs.....and I had none of that. I was to attend a friends party, but because of snow, the roads were too bad to travel with the girls. So my "feast" was one of mased potatoes, pot roast, and cornbread. certainlly not bad, but hardly traditional fare for such a stupendous day. Ah well. I am sure it could be worse.

--The first real notable commercial featured a black-and-white cow being sprayed with water, while 2 cows stood gawking. Turns out it was a commercial for California cheese. With all due respect, how good could it be? I mean, if it really was all that great, why the heck do we have Wisconsin? No really, I'm asking, because I'm all for getting rid of Wisconsin (the France of the States in America.)

--The Patriots Wr Troy Brown was interviewed before the game began, and he was talking so fast, and his eyes were so glazed over, I bet he was 10 seconds away from throwing up. He was SCARED, (rightfully so) and so am I for my pre-game pick.

--Aerosmith was horrible. The intro they had was stupid as heck, and they sounded terrible. It's quite obvious that they got paid before they performed, and not after. Say a prayer for Joe Perry. (Who was that on his guitar, by the way? Anyone know?)

---The tribute to the seven astronauts lost last year was nice, though I wish they had maybe a longer tribute to them, and maybe even listed them individually.

--Another nice touch in showing the newest shuttle crew for STS 114. Again, they just showed them as a group, instead of introducing them individually. Just not enough information provided for those who should be touted as our heroes.

--Jessica Simpson is sponsoring Pizza Hut. I want a piece.

--By the way, Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy were also in the commercial. IF the pizza had peperoni or sausage on it....it would mean bad news for the Miss Piggy family, wouldn't it? There are some major issues to address there. More chilling would be if Kermit liked the taste of pork. If you know what I mean. Some night, Kermit gets tired of flies for dinner, so he seduces Miss Piggy to bed, offering various husbandly (is that a word?) services, and while she is splayed out in front of him, he cracks her across the skull, and starts planning a luau.

--I'm guessing the coin flip is tails. Tails never fails.

--Doing the backstroke in the gutter dept: What would you rather have, HEAD(s) or tails?

--Don't answer that last one.

---I was right! It was tails!

--Ford GT; I gotta admit that it looks nice.

GAMETIME

---The Patriots force a punt, get the ball at midfield, drivedown to the red zone, and shoot themseves in the foot with an incomplete pass, a false start, another incpmplete pass, a run, and a missed field goal. Are the Vikings inthe Super Bowl again?

---Dan Henning, offensive coordinator for the Panthers, looked like Ted Williams. Now. As in frozen.

---Pepsi airs an ad with Bers buying Pepsi. I have to ask....isn't this cruelty to animals? Someone from the ASPCA had better be paying attention.

---We are now almost halfway through the 2nd quarter, and the Panthers are punting again. I haven't seen this many punts since I mis-spelled a Google Image search. (No, not THAT; PANTS.)

---9:15 into the 2nd Quarter and the Patriots are looking at a 4th and inches. Go for it? I say yes,given hw tight the game is so far.

---Thejersey may have said "Vrabel", but I am pretty sure that it was Lawrence Taylor who came around the edge and made a hachet chop to knock the ball from the QB.

---The Patriots scored their TD on a preat play action call; the linebackers just froze solid (SOLID AS A ROCK!), leaving the Wr to cut behind and catch the TD pass.

---Visa shows a commercial of a girls beach vollyball team playing on a glacier. Makes me reminisce about the Swedish Bikini Team. Ahhhh, mammaries.

Maaaaaaaaaaammaries.......in the corners of my mind.
Soft and yet firm maaaaaaammaries....like the way they were.

---Using the Orange County Choppers crew for the AOL commercials was impressive. If you've ever see the show, it's a group of bikers who come up with some choppers from scratch. Most of them have some sort of theme. Well, the commercials really caught the feel of the show.

---The Panthers score to even things up. Delhomme layed it in perfectly to Smith's hands for the TD.

---The Panthers score a TD, but there is still about a minute left. Now, in the last Patriots Super Bowl, they went for the points at the en of the game, rather than play it safe for the tie, and force overtime. I would imagine they'll do the same here and try to get some points before the half is up.

Aaaaaand looks like I was right. Stupid follow up with the squib kick though. The Panthers are able to get a field goal to end the half.

HALFTIME-

----oooh look! Janet! (Ms. Jackson if you're nasty.) It's 1989 again, with Rtythm Nation!

----His name is Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..............
Kid Rock.

----Justin Timberlake dated Britney and now gets to sing with Janet? Mna that's just not....oh.

Oh. My.

Well, I always wanted to see that, but.....it makes for a rather uncomfortable position. This is NOt the venue I had in mind when I (often) pictured seeing Janet's uh....bounty. (see: treasure CHEST). Something is lost seeing her bosom in public with so many other people.

The kids were in the room. It was on the screen just long enough to catch their attention. Seeing that in front of the kids is somewhat like watching 9 1/2 weeks with your parents in the same room.

----yet another reason to hate Justin Timberlake.

----Well, THAT will take the attention off of Michael.

----What is worse, I had just finished saying that she was the most normal Jackson in that family.

2ND HALF:

Oh, for the love of Mike....some naked idiot out on the field. This is the Super Bowl, and this STILL happens?! Security for this Super Bowl rates an F.

Out of nowhere, Jermaine Wiggins, TE for the Panthers, showed alot of effort to get a 1st down by breaking a tackle and vaulting over another defender. More plays like that one will win the Super Bowl.

----Whichever punter performs the best (on the field) (kicking) will be the MVP.

----So,.....is Hidalgo the guy or the Horse?

----You know the saying about people and pets looking the same? Yeah, watch the Hidalgo trailer again,and tell me it's not true.

----We're going to ahve to call this the Muhammed Ali Super Bowl . A commercial for LINUX, an intro to halftime, and now this: a Gilette Mach 3 urbo commercial.

That said, it's actually a pretty good razor. Makes for a smooth undercarriage, ifyoucatchmymeaning.
You go through razors pretty quickly though.

----Lots of scoring in the seconld half. The offensive coordinators did a good job of making adjustments at halftime. I wonder if either is going back to the run though, to keep the ball away from the other, or if the shoot-out will continue.

----The Panthers just got a great TD to tie the game, but they left a good amount of time on the clock. Maybe too much. (Last time I remember thinking there was too much time left on the clock was an unforgettable Montana\Elway showdown back in '93 or '94.) That might hurt them. Same philosophy as before for the Patriots too.....they'll go for the win if they can, rather than take the tie.

----Oh.

That is BAD. That's close to a firable offense, kicking the ball out of bounds like that. What a horrible kick. John Kasay, we'll just call you GOAT from here on out. Why are there no famous goeats in Hollywood lore, By the way? I could have used one in this insult. Matt writes down GAME OVER.


----Sure enough...Patriots win by a field goal. Vinetieri is the greatest clutch kicker that I cna ever recall, Tom Brady gets the MVP, and if he's only 26. If he gets another Super Bowl ring before he retires, he's on par with Joe Montana as the greatest QB alive.

And that's it! That's the Super Bowl. On to the post game show, though I'll be the only one to see that. Sorry, folks.



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