Wednesday, August 18, 2004
I've lost something recently, and I have a vague idea what it is. I've lost the passion that Iused to have for things,and I've settled into some sort of muck that prevents me from feeling enthused about things. It may havesomething to do with the scractchy throat and clogged nostrils that I'm suffering through (I know...eeeeew.), or maybe it's some sort of depression.
I'm not sure. All I know is, football and writing and alot of the things I used to feel really strongly about...I don't feel strongly about any more.
Which is partly why I haven't been diligent about writing lately, so I apologize.
I guess I am looking for some inspiration, or some sort of spark to ignite my spirit, but nothing seems to be working. It's kinda like when someone asks you what you're hungry for, and you're not the least bit hungry. Nothing sounds good. Well, I'm not hungry, and nothing sounds good.
I know that many of you would say "What about football", "What about the mysteries of space", "What about denials of a homo-erotic subculture within the commercial industry, and it's affect on the economy as we know it?"
And to that I would say, "meh", "meh", and "It's silly to deny that there isn't more of an acceptance in the mainstream media towards gays and lesbians,with many shows and even some commercials either fully embracing or at least acknowledging the gay and lesbian community as a whole. With shows such as "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy", "Will and Grace", "Queer as Folk" finding such popular followings, it provides businesses the comfort to feel free to cater their goods and services to this particular demographic, which they may not have done as recently as a decade ago. However, this has little to do with my own predicament at the time, so why you even brought it up in the first place, I have no idea."
I still like football and astronomy and lesbians, but it doesn't hold my interst as it once did. Well, the lesbians do, but thatis unlikely to ever change. I feel ready for something new, but I know not what.
I'm not panickkin about it. It's not a mid-life crisis of sorts. OR if it is, I've recognized it for what it is. It's simply a transition point in my life where I'm getting ready for whatever change might come my way. There is the move to Oregon for example, and the family.
This growing up thing is hard, though.
A brief respite
I got home from work on Monday to learn that the neighborhood nanny was given a one-time job to clean the interior of a boat owned by a Hotel Owner here in MN. (He is friends with her Dad.) Neighborhood Nany invited The Wife along to help.
The Wife invited me along to watch the kids while they cleaned the boat. But after working 8-9 hours, did I REALLLY want to drive 30-45min to watch the kids run around while the wife cleaned up some millionaire's boat? Meh. Not really. But it forces me out of the house, and who knows what might happen?
So we drive down to Lake Minnetonka, and arrive at a small cabin right on one of the Lake Minnetonka bays.
Now, for those of you who don't know, Lake Minnetonka is THE PRIME REAL ESTATE in Minnesota. The Millionaire's playground. So it's kinda a big deal to be able to see this stuff. Our Millionaire boss was out of town, so he left the boat for the girls to clean,and I stayed on shore and watched the girls run around. The interior of the boat isn't all that big; it's about the size of a small RV in there, with a small bunk area to sleep, a spot to sit and play cards, a microwave, a tiny bathroom,and that's about it. Not enough work for 2 girls, but they did it anyway. Neighborhood Nanny's Dad was there to supervise, but really spent the time walking aroudn the property taking in the scenery.
Me? I taught the kids how to throw rocks into the lake. Away from the boats of course, but it was fun to show them how different sized rocks make different sized splashes. And once you get kids started throwing rocks into a lake, it's danged near impossible to get them to stop.
Soon enough, mom was finished, and N.N.D.(Neighborhood Nanny's Dad) decided he wanted to take the boat out. OK. Strap the kids into some life jackets, and away we go!
We tooled around the bay for a bit, and the baot is a glorified speeedboat really. I tried to find a picture on the net that accurately represents what we were on, but do you have any idea how many types of boats there are?
There is a small area on the front of the boat for 2 people to lay out and tan, and enjoy the sights as you float along. Everyone had a turn layoing on the front of the boat, and looking up at the darkening sky as the sun set, and enjoying a leisurely moment on the lake.
At one point, it was Anna and Bailey and I, and Anna turns to me and says "I love this life."
I do too, sweetheart.
I do too.
(Course, don't expect Dad to provide you with a $100,000 boat.)
I'm not sure. All I know is, football and writing and alot of the things I used to feel really strongly about...I don't feel strongly about any more.
Which is partly why I haven't been diligent about writing lately, so I apologize.
I guess I am looking for some inspiration, or some sort of spark to ignite my spirit, but nothing seems to be working. It's kinda like when someone asks you what you're hungry for, and you're not the least bit hungry. Nothing sounds good. Well, I'm not hungry, and nothing sounds good.
I know that many of you would say "What about football", "What about the mysteries of space", "What about denials of a homo-erotic subculture within the commercial industry, and it's affect on the economy as we know it?"
And to that I would say, "meh", "meh", and "It's silly to deny that there isn't more of an acceptance in the mainstream media towards gays and lesbians,with many shows and even some commercials either fully embracing or at least acknowledging the gay and lesbian community as a whole. With shows such as "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy", "Will and Grace", "Queer as Folk" finding such popular followings, it provides businesses the comfort to feel free to cater their goods and services to this particular demographic, which they may not have done as recently as a decade ago. However, this has little to do with my own predicament at the time, so why you even brought it up in the first place, I have no idea."
I still like football and astronomy and lesbians, but it doesn't hold my interst as it once did. Well, the lesbians do, but thatis unlikely to ever change. I feel ready for something new, but I know not what.
I'm not panickkin about it. It's not a mid-life crisis of sorts. OR if it is, I've recognized it for what it is. It's simply a transition point in my life where I'm getting ready for whatever change might come my way. There is the move to Oregon for example, and the family.
This growing up thing is hard, though.
A brief respite
I got home from work on Monday to learn that the neighborhood nanny was given a one-time job to clean the interior of a boat owned by a Hotel Owner here in MN. (He is friends with her Dad.) Neighborhood Nany invited The Wife along to help.
The Wife invited me along to watch the kids while they cleaned the boat. But after working 8-9 hours, did I REALLLY want to drive 30-45min to watch the kids run around while the wife cleaned up some millionaire's boat? Meh. Not really. But it forces me out of the house, and who knows what might happen?
So we drive down to Lake Minnetonka, and arrive at a small cabin right on one of the Lake Minnetonka bays.
Now, for those of you who don't know, Lake Minnetonka is THE PRIME REAL ESTATE in Minnesota. The Millionaire's playground. So it's kinda a big deal to be able to see this stuff. Our Millionaire boss was out of town, so he left the boat for the girls to clean,and I stayed on shore and watched the girls run around. The interior of the boat isn't all that big; it's about the size of a small RV in there, with a small bunk area to sleep, a spot to sit and play cards, a microwave, a tiny bathroom,and that's about it. Not enough work for 2 girls, but they did it anyway. Neighborhood Nanny's Dad was there to supervise, but really spent the time walking aroudn the property taking in the scenery.
Me? I taught the kids how to throw rocks into the lake. Away from the boats of course, but it was fun to show them how different sized rocks make different sized splashes. And once you get kids started throwing rocks into a lake, it's danged near impossible to get them to stop.
Soon enough, mom was finished, and N.N.D.(Neighborhood Nanny's Dad) decided he wanted to take the boat out. OK. Strap the kids into some life jackets, and away we go!
We tooled around the bay for a bit, and the baot is a glorified speeedboat really. I tried to find a picture on the net that accurately represents what we were on, but do you have any idea how many types of boats there are?
There is a small area on the front of the boat for 2 people to lay out and tan, and enjoy the sights as you float along. Everyone had a turn layoing on the front of the boat, and looking up at the darkening sky as the sun set, and enjoying a leisurely moment on the lake.
At one point, it was Anna and Bailey and I, and Anna turns to me and says "I love this life."
I do too, sweetheart.
I do too.
(Course, don't expect Dad to provide you with a $100,000 boat.)
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