Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Groucho Marx once said that "Wives are women who feel they don't dance enough."
I think there is som truth to that. BUt if that is true, I am a man who feels he doesn't get enough pudding.
NO, NOT THAT!
We're talking about the kind that you eat.
No, NOT THAT!
The kind that makes you smile.
Oh, wait.
Uh, the kind that comes from a box?
(No, that doens't work either...)
The type that is served in a bowl or cup. There.
Now, everyone has their favorite when it comes to pudding, whether it be chocolate, or tapioca, or butterscotch, or even pistachio. But we don't care about what other people like. We're here to talk about what we like, and to rank the puddings accordingly.
And thus, you have the great pudding rankings of 2004!
To keep things civil, we will go by the gold standad of Pudding makers, Jell-O. There are other pudding producers, but none as well known as Jell-O brand, and quite frankly, I don't bother eating the store brands, so to heck with them!
The ELITES
1. Chocolate -smooth. simple, needing no added acoutrements or is reliant upon any other food to enhance or bring out it's flavor, but doesn't dismiss the possibility of some whipped cream, or some chocolate sprinkles, or raspberies, or the occasional set of buxom women in revealing bikinis during a battle of sinewy strength as they attempt to pin each other to a count of 3, honoring all wrestlers who have come before them. It can be both complex and simple, diverse to fit the needs of the intended meal.
2.Chocolate Fudge- The power of chocolate, multiplied by two. Many will argue that Chocolate Fudge should be rated #1, since chocolate fudge i just more of a good thing. And while I don't necessarily disagree with that, I would say that soemtimes it can be TOO MUCH of a good thing. I don't view it to be as adaptable as chocolate is; it's maybe too much in certain situations when just a plain chocolate will do. This is a wierd scenario in which being better than the original is actually a hinderence to the product, rather than a benefit. But if that is the case, is it really an improved product? No matter. We are still amongst the elite flavors. Placing 2nd in this contest is no shame.
3.Vanilla- vanilla is the ultimate balance to chocolate. Smooth and creamy in it's own right, and it does not overpower yo with it's presence...it is more subtle and demure, like a Southern Belle.
4.Lemon- It captures the true taste of hat lemon should be. Tart, yet sublime, reminding you of the yellow-est summer day.
The "Variation on a theme" group
5.Devil's food - more chocolate. more goodness. or badness. I don't care; just keep it coming.
6.French Vanilla-what needs to be said?
7.Banana Cream-A solid pudding, to be suer, but itis lost without the 'Nilla wafers to go with it. It's reliant upon the presence of those cookies to make it complete. Without the saving grace of a simple vanilla cookie if fails to inspire anyone's soul. A pudding should be able to stand on it's own,and this one needs too much help. Thus, the low ranking. Banana Cream without 'Nilla wafers is Jerry Lewis without Dean Martin. Just plain and damned annoying. But togeather... a wonderful balance of flavors to be savored.
8.White Chocolate
The "I gotta be in the right mindset first" group
9.Pistachio-it always tastes good, but I have to convince myself to taste it each time. I shouldn't have to do that.
10.Tapioca- I'm fine, as long as I don't think of them as iddy bitty maggots, or some sort of insect egg. (OOps, now I've ruined it for you too, haven't I?) The consistency always makes me feel dirty, like I spent 15 minutes on the casting couch with Gore Vidal or Rock Hudson. You know what I mean.
11.Rice-see Tapioca.
12.Butterscotch- burns my throat. It ain't butter, and it ain't scotch. It's good, but it's only good in small amounts. It CAN be overdone.
The "For Pete's sake, why even bother"?
13.Coconut cream-what else needs to be said? You might as well throw some raisins in it to finish the job and completely ruin the idea of pudding.
"They're not puddings, they are pie fillings" group
14.Cheesecake-what?
15.OREO Cookies and cream Good for a pie, but...
Link of the Week:
http://www.theaxeeffect.com/touch/flash.html
Monica Bellucci gives birth to a baby boy:
We are now taking applications for stretch mark spotters. It will be your duty to find any stretch mark and report it to Ms. Bellucci. Here is a picture of thesubject before she gave birth. Study it well.
Song Quote of the day:
NFL picks to date:
9-7. But I'm just getting warmed up, so gimme some time.
I think there is som truth to that. BUt if that is true, I am a man who feels he doesn't get enough pudding.
NO, NOT THAT!
We're talking about the kind that you eat.
No, NOT THAT!
The kind that makes you smile.
Oh, wait.
Uh, the kind that comes from a box?
(No, that doens't work either...)
The type that is served in a bowl or cup. There.
Now, everyone has their favorite when it comes to pudding, whether it be chocolate, or tapioca, or butterscotch, or even pistachio. But we don't care about what other people like. We're here to talk about what we like, and to rank the puddings accordingly.
And thus, you have the great pudding rankings of 2004!
To keep things civil, we will go by the gold standad of Pudding makers, Jell-O. There are other pudding producers, but none as well known as Jell-O brand, and quite frankly, I don't bother eating the store brands, so to heck with them!
The ELITES
1. Chocolate -smooth. simple, needing no added acoutrements or is reliant upon any other food to enhance or bring out it's flavor, but doesn't dismiss the possibility of some whipped cream, or some chocolate sprinkles, or raspberies, or the occasional set of buxom women in revealing bikinis during a battle of sinewy strength as they attempt to pin each other to a count of 3, honoring all wrestlers who have come before them. It can be both complex and simple, diverse to fit the needs of the intended meal.
2.Chocolate Fudge- The power of chocolate, multiplied by two. Many will argue that Chocolate Fudge should be rated #1, since chocolate fudge i just more of a good thing. And while I don't necessarily disagree with that, I would say that soemtimes it can be TOO MUCH of a good thing. I don't view it to be as adaptable as chocolate is; it's maybe too much in certain situations when just a plain chocolate will do. This is a wierd scenario in which being better than the original is actually a hinderence to the product, rather than a benefit. But if that is the case, is it really an improved product? No matter. We are still amongst the elite flavors. Placing 2nd in this contest is no shame.
3.Vanilla- vanilla is the ultimate balance to chocolate. Smooth and creamy in it's own right, and it does not overpower yo with it's presence...it is more subtle and demure, like a Southern Belle.
4.Lemon- It captures the true taste of hat lemon should be. Tart, yet sublime, reminding you of the yellow-est summer day.
The "Variation on a theme" group
5.Devil's food - more chocolate. more goodness. or badness. I don't care; just keep it coming.
6.French Vanilla-what needs to be said?
7.Banana Cream-A solid pudding, to be suer, but itis lost without the 'Nilla wafers to go with it. It's reliant upon the presence of those cookies to make it complete. Without the saving grace of a simple vanilla cookie if fails to inspire anyone's soul. A pudding should be able to stand on it's own,and this one needs too much help. Thus, the low ranking. Banana Cream without 'Nilla wafers is Jerry Lewis without Dean Martin. Just plain and damned annoying. But togeather... a wonderful balance of flavors to be savored.
8.White Chocolate
The "I gotta be in the right mindset first" group
9.Pistachio-it always tastes good, but I have to convince myself to taste it each time. I shouldn't have to do that.
10.Tapioca- I'm fine, as long as I don't think of them as iddy bitty maggots, or some sort of insect egg. (OOps, now I've ruined it for you too, haven't I?) The consistency always makes me feel dirty, like I spent 15 minutes on the casting couch with Gore Vidal or Rock Hudson. You know what I mean.
11.Rice-see Tapioca.
12.Butterscotch- burns my throat. It ain't butter, and it ain't scotch. It's good, but it's only good in small amounts. It CAN be overdone.
The "For Pete's sake, why even bother"?
13.Coconut cream-what else needs to be said? You might as well throw some raisins in it to finish the job and completely ruin the idea of pudding.
"They're not puddings, they are pie fillings" group
14.Cheesecake-what?
15.OREO Cookies and cream Good for a pie, but...
Link of the Week:
http://www.theaxeeffect.com/touch/flash.html
Monica Bellucci gives birth to a baby boy:
We are now taking applications for stretch mark spotters. It will be your duty to find any stretch mark and report it to Ms. Bellucci. Here is a picture of thesubject before she gave birth. Study it well.
Song Quote of the day:
You've got me captured I'm under your spell
I guess I'll never learn
I have your picture Yes I know it well
Another page is turned
Are you for real? It's so hard to tell
From just a magazine
Yeah, you just smile, and the picture sells
Look what that does to me
I'll wait Til' your love comes down
I'm coming straight for your heart
No way you can stop me now
As fine as you are
I wrote a letter and told her these words
That meant a lot to me
I never sent it She wouldn't have heard
Her eyes don't follow me
And while she watches, I can never be free
Such good photography
I'll wait Til' your love comes down
I'm coming straight for your heart
No way you can stop me now
As fine as you are
NFL picks to date:
9-7. But I'm just getting warmed up, so gimme some time.
Comments:
Post a Comment
