Monday, January 09, 2006
Uh, I like it like that
she working that back
I don't know how to act
Slow motion for me, slow motion for me, slow motion for me
Move it slow motion for me
John Stewart and the Oscars
It was recently announced who will be hosting the Oscars. Normally, in such instances, there is a pause between that announcement and the stifled yawns of the Daily Update writers.
However, whichever PR floozy was responsible for making this press release must have sounded as though they were speaking in tongues, because as the statement that John Stewart was hosting the show left their mouth, it was simultaneously announced that The Daily Update would post a live notation of the event. Mr. Stewart's witty humor and class will provide just what the Oscars need. Hopefully someone will make a pro-Republican statement, giving Stewart a chance to steal the show right then and there. So those of you who enjoy those commentary pieces from me...it's something to look forward to. And a chance to watch it and wonder if I will comment on this or that or the other.
That shot of Jessica Simpson in the dress? Oh yeah. I'll comment on that too. She deserves it really, since she's not about to get anything for her work in "the Dukes of Hazzard". Except maybe syphilis.
Which brings up a good point now. She was a virgin going into the marriage right? So now that she's had relations, she's free game, right?
Right?
Then again, the syphilis might be a bit of a drawback, I'm thinking.
This Day in History:
In 1776, Thomas Paine published his influential pamphlet, "Common Sense." To date, not a single woman has read it. (Yeah, I'm gonna have to answer to a few people on that one.)
In 1861, Florida seceded from the Union.
In 1863, London's Metropolitan, the world's first underground passenger railway, opened to the public. Homeless whinos throuhout the city rejoiced at the site of a portable urinal.
In 1870, John D. Rockefeller incorporated Standard Oil.
In 1920, the League of Nations was established as the Treaty of Versailles went into effect.
In 1946, the first manmade contact with the moon was made as radar signals were bounced off the lunar surface. They pinged the moon! Now all I can think of is the scene in Hunt for Red October.
"One ping Vasilli. One ping only, please."
In 1946, the first General Assembly of the United Nations convened in London.
In 1947, the musical fantasy "Finian's Rainbow," with music by Burton Lane and lyrics by E.Y. Harburg, opened on Broadway.
In 1957, Harold Macmillan became prime minister of Britain, following the resignation of Anthony Eden.
In 1971, "Masterpiece Theatre" premiered on PBS with host Alistair Cooke introducing a drama series, "The First Churchills." I remember watching this with my Dad when I was a kid. He'd have it on now and then, and I got some culture now and then because of it. I specifically remember the Sherlock Holmes episodes, and Moriarty. Including the final one. Waterfall. There's a tussle. Something happens.
Today's Birthdays:
Singer Rod Stewart is 61.
Comb? What's that?
Boxer George Foreman is 57.
Singer Pat Benatar is 53.
MIddle-age is a battlefield.
Rock singer Brad Roberts (Crash Test Dummies) is 42.
You will now start humming "Mmmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm" and alternately cursing me for planting the song in your head.
Rapper Chris Smith (Kris Kross) is 27.
Say what you want, but we all remember them.
Shakespeare Quote of the Day:
This kindness will I show.
Go with me to a notary, seal me there
Your single bond; and, in a merry sport,
If you repay me not on such a day,
In such a place, such sum or sums as are
Express'd in the condition, let the forfeit
Be nominated for an equal pound
Of your fair flesh, to be cut off and taken
In what part of your body pleaseth me.
-Merchant of Venice
Sealing of a debt to Shylock of 1 pound of flesh for the wealth needed to woo fair Portia.
Word of the day:
It was recently announced who will be hosting the Oscars. Normally, in such instances, there is a pause between that announcement and the stifled yawns of the Daily Update writers.
However, whichever PR floozy was responsible for making this press release must have sounded as though they were speaking in tongues, because as the statement that John Stewart was hosting the show left their mouth, it was simultaneously announced that The Daily Update would post a live notation of the event. Mr. Stewart's witty humor and class will provide just what the Oscars need. Hopefully someone will make a pro-Republican statement, giving Stewart a chance to steal the show right then and there. So those of you who enjoy those commentary pieces from me...it's something to look forward to. And a chance to watch it and wonder if I will comment on this or that or the other.
That shot of Jessica Simpson in the dress? Oh yeah. I'll comment on that too. She deserves it really, since she's not about to get anything for her work in "the Dukes of Hazzard". Except maybe syphilis.
Which brings up a good point now. She was a virgin going into the marriage right? So now that she's had relations, she's free game, right?
Right?
Then again, the syphilis might be a bit of a drawback, I'm thinking.
This Day in History:
In 1776, Thomas Paine published his influential pamphlet, "Common Sense." To date, not a single woman has read it. (Yeah, I'm gonna have to answer to a few people on that one.)
In 1861, Florida seceded from the Union.
In 1863, London's Metropolitan, the world's first underground passenger railway, opened to the public. Homeless whinos throuhout the city rejoiced at the site of a portable urinal.
In 1870, John D. Rockefeller incorporated Standard Oil.
In 1920, the League of Nations was established as the Treaty of Versailles went into effect.
In 1946, the first manmade contact with the moon was made as radar signals were bounced off the lunar surface. They pinged the moon! Now all I can think of is the scene in Hunt for Red October.
"One ping Vasilli. One ping only, please."
In 1946, the first General Assembly of the United Nations convened in London.
In 1947, the musical fantasy "Finian's Rainbow," with music by Burton Lane and lyrics by E.Y. Harburg, opened on Broadway.
In 1957, Harold Macmillan became prime minister of Britain, following the resignation of Anthony Eden.
In 1971, "Masterpiece Theatre" premiered on PBS with host Alistair Cooke introducing a drama series, "The First Churchills." I remember watching this with my Dad when I was a kid. He'd have it on now and then, and I got some culture now and then because of it. I specifically remember the Sherlock Holmes episodes, and Moriarty. Including the final one. Waterfall. There's a tussle. Something happens.
Today's Birthdays:
Singer Rod Stewart is 61.
Comb? What's that?
Boxer George Foreman is 57.
Singer Pat Benatar is 53.
MIddle-age is a battlefield.
Rock singer Brad Roberts (Crash Test Dummies) is 42.
You will now start humming "Mmmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm" and alternately cursing me for planting the song in your head.
Rapper Chris Smith (Kris Kross) is 27.
Say what you want, but we all remember them.
Shakespeare Quote of the Day:
This kindness will I show.
Go with me to a notary, seal me there
Your single bond; and, in a merry sport,
If you repay me not on such a day,
In such a place, such sum or sums as are
Express'd in the condition, let the forfeit
Be nominated for an equal pound
Of your fair flesh, to be cut off and taken
In what part of your body pleaseth me.
-Merchant of Venice
Sealing of a debt to Shylock of 1 pound of flesh for the wealth needed to woo fair Portia.
Word of the day:
sine qua non \sin-ih-kwah-NON; -NOHN; sy-nih-kway-\, noun:
An essential condition or element; an indispensable thing
Random Picture of Morena Baccarin:
There is talk of a Wonder Woman movie. And she's rumored to be up for the main role.
The life and times of Markus Vick:
Markus Vick is the younger brother of Michael Vick, the most electric and exciting QB's in the NFL today (You'll note that does not mean he's the best). Both are tremendously talented, but thanks to Michael's accomplishments in college and on the professional level, he has opened doors for Markus to follow, including a college scholorship (FREE LEARNING) to play football. Instead, he spent time getting teenage girls drunk, smoking pot, driving on a suspended license, getting a DUI, and what was thought was the coup de grace...a stomping on the leg of a prone defender on the ground after the play was over.
The college he was attending, Virginia Tech, kicked him off the football team after getting fed up with all of his shenanigans, and rightfully so. While he is tremendously physically talented, he is woefully short on any sort of control over himself, his actions, or any accountability that might follow. The word "punk" had barely cleared my mouth by the time it was announced he was arrested for brandishing a gun at some people at a McDonalds.
What was he gonna say...they were after his fries?
He has announced his eligibility for the football draft, and there is enough physical talent that a team might convince themselves it's worth the risk. It won't be, but some team will still roll the dice. But being a Qb in the NFl is more than just physical ability. It's being a leader, and it's making the right decisions in pressure situations. What about the past 2 years says anything positive about his ability to make good decisions?
He's not the first Qb to be called a punk, and he's hardly the last athlete or football player to make a series of horrible decisions off AND on the field. I don't see him on a daily basis, but there isn't anything about him that shows signs of a decent human being inside.
Cavemen, women see things differently...
There was recently a story on Yahoo.com that talked of how cavemens hand prints were in different places than women. So now you've got a large enough cave to house both genders, and they're lining each wall, as if it was some sort of City of Bedrock prom. The guys are lining up along one wall, and the girls along another.
"Grock, you look good. Not it stag-on-stag way, but..."
"Rar! New Loin cloth! Get it from kitty with sharptooth."
"Grock lie!"
"Go drink tar Slag! I kill sharptooth kitty with you momma skullbone!"
"Grock all talk. You so brave, you go talk to Ayla."
"Grock brave, not foolish."
Hey, I'm just trying to put words to what all of you readers are thinking.
Arrested Development
When the show first came out, it had a few bright spots, but it was a throwaway show to get to the Simpsons. Now? It's one of the better comedies that I would steal material from if I could. In fact it's so good, it's almost allowed me to forgive Jason Bateman for Valerie, The Hogan Family, and for the sake of all living things...Teen Wolf Too.
Or for that matter, being the more successful Bateman.
Justine deseved more work.
Sidebar: Why hasn't there been a Family Ties reunion show? There's been about 7 Facts of Life shows, but not a single one of Family Ties?! You can't tell me that Michael Gross and Tina Yothers are doing better without. Or Skippy, for that matter.
Oh, come ON. You remember Skippy. The nerdy neighbor.
Anyway, Arrested Development deserves your attention, for the little time they have left, before they're cancelled. Fox is cutting them loose, and they'll find another home. Admittedly it's not exactly must watch, but it's a decent enough show that deserves some extra life.
A scene from the show, if I may...
Though if I am to be completely honest, I usually turn into the show to listen to the narrator, and it's not just the melodious tones of his clear annotation and snappy delivery.
Well, Ok, maybe it is.
More later.
The life and times of Markus Vick:
Markus Vick is the younger brother of Michael Vick, the most electric and exciting QB's in the NFL today (You'll note that does not mean he's the best). Both are tremendously talented, but thanks to Michael's accomplishments in college and on the professional level, he has opened doors for Markus to follow, including a college scholorship (FREE LEARNING) to play football. Instead, he spent time getting teenage girls drunk, smoking pot, driving on a suspended license, getting a DUI, and what was thought was the coup de grace...a stomping on the leg of a prone defender on the ground after the play was over.
The college he was attending, Virginia Tech, kicked him off the football team after getting fed up with all of his shenanigans, and rightfully so. While he is tremendously physically talented, he is woefully short on any sort of control over himself, his actions, or any accountability that might follow. The word "punk" had barely cleared my mouth by the time it was announced he was arrested for brandishing a gun at some people at a McDonalds.
What was he gonna say...they were after his fries?
He has announced his eligibility for the football draft, and there is enough physical talent that a team might convince themselves it's worth the risk. It won't be, but some team will still roll the dice. But being a Qb in the NFl is more than just physical ability. It's being a leader, and it's making the right decisions in pressure situations. What about the past 2 years says anything positive about his ability to make good decisions?
He's not the first Qb to be called a punk, and he's hardly the last athlete or football player to make a series of horrible decisions off AND on the field. I don't see him on a daily basis, but there isn't anything about him that shows signs of a decent human being inside.
Cavemen, women see things differently...
There was recently a story on Yahoo.com that talked of how cavemens hand prints were in different places than women. So now you've got a large enough cave to house both genders, and they're lining each wall, as if it was some sort of City of Bedrock prom. The guys are lining up along one wall, and the girls along another.
"Grock, you look good. Not it stag-on-stag way, but..."
"Rar! New Loin cloth! Get it from kitty with sharptooth."
"Grock lie!"
"Go drink tar Slag! I kill sharptooth kitty with you momma skullbone!"
"Grock all talk. You so brave, you go talk to Ayla."
"Grock brave, not foolish."
Hey, I'm just trying to put words to what all of you readers are thinking.
Arrested Development
When the show first came out, it had a few bright spots, but it was a throwaway show to get to the Simpsons. Now? It's one of the better comedies that I would steal material from if I could. In fact it's so good, it's almost allowed me to forgive Jason Bateman for Valerie, The Hogan Family, and for the sake of all living things...Teen Wolf Too.
Or for that matter, being the more successful Bateman.
Justine deseved more work.
Sidebar: Why hasn't there been a Family Ties reunion show? There's been about 7 Facts of Life shows, but not a single one of Family Ties?! You can't tell me that Michael Gross and Tina Yothers are doing better without. Or Skippy, for that matter.
Oh, come ON. You remember Skippy. The nerdy neighbor.
Anyway, Arrested Development deserves your attention, for the little time they have left, before they're cancelled. Fox is cutting them loose, and they'll find another home. Admittedly it's not exactly must watch, but it's a decent enough show that deserves some extra life.
A scene from the show, if I may...
George Michael Bluth: [George Michael is in love with his ethics teacher] I don't want to let down Miss Baerly. She's nice, you know?
Lindsay Funke: She's interesting... and pretty?
George Michael Bluth: Well, I don't know why I'm telling you this. I guess there's just some things you can't always say to your dad.
Lindsay Funke: Ah. sounds like you'd like her to be more than just your teacher.
Narrator: Lindsay believed that George Michael wanted to fix up his father so he could fill the role of his mother.
Lindsay Funke: There's nothing wrong with that. Although... I must say I'm a little hurt that you haven't considered me.
George Michael Bluth: You're my aunt.
Lindsay Funke: That doesn't matter. Aunts can fill that role. Teachers can fill that role. And, someday, you're going to find the right woman to fill that role. But until then... I'll be right across the hall.
Narrator: Lindsay had never been more proud of anything she had said in her entire life.
George Michael Bluth: Yikes.
Though if I am to be completely honest, I usually turn into the show to listen to the narrator, and it's not just the melodious tones of his clear annotation and snappy delivery.
Well, Ok, maybe it is.
More later.
Comments:
Post a Comment
