Thursday, October 28, 2004
"It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
And I feel fine."
The Red Sox have won the World Series. What in the hell? This is the end times. Which, I suppose, is appropriate with the National Election next week, and all.
The path to a World Championship for them was quite an up and down roller coaster experience. They shot up and through the Anaheim Angels in the first round of the playoffs, and then underwent a name change prior to facing the New York Yankees. The Boston Red Sox then became the Boston "Anybody but the Yankees", much like the Minnesota Twins before them had been the Minnesota chapter of "Anybody but the Yankees". After dropping the first 3 games, the Red Sox stormed back to defeat the Yankees in 7 games, and then kept up the momentum, which carried them through the St. Louis Cardinals in 4 straight games.
So now, without the burden of "The Curse of the Bambino", they're just another team to the rest of the world. for a long time, they were defined by non-Red Sox fans as the team that oculdn't win it. Well, them and the Cubs, I guess. For Sox fans, though, I am sure it doesn't matter. For the rest of us, they've lost their identity.
Aren't we all Red Sox fans right now?
Song Quote of the Day:
Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself
Today in History:
In 1636, Harvard College was founded in Massachusetts.
In 1793, Eli Whitney applied for a patent for his cotton gin (the patent was granted the following March). One year later, a patent was denied for a Cotton tonic. Ok, so now I am trying to hard.
In 1919, Congress enacted the Volstead Act, which provided for enforcement of Prohibition, over President Wilson's veto. No more Cotton gin and Tonic. Revolt!
In 1922, fascism came to Italy as Benito Mussolini took control of the government. Revolt! No more Italian wine!
In 1936, President Franklin D. Roosevelt rededicated the Statue of Liberty on its 50th anniversary.
In 1940, Italy invaded Greece during World War II.
In 1958, the Roman Catholic patriarch of Venice, Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli, was elected Pope; he took the name John XXIII. (Brutus was already taken.)
In 1962, Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev informed the United States that he had ordered the dismantling of Soviet missile bases in Cuba.
In 1965, Pope Paul VI issued a decree absolving Jews of collective guilt for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. (i'm sure his heart was in the right place, but at the same time...I hardly think the Jews of the time were feeling guilt ridden about the entire incedent. "Oy! What a relief! I feel so much better about my lot in life!" )
Today's Birthdays:
Joquain Phoenix-30
This is the guy that I am most compared to. Just...uglier. So ugly up Mr Phoenix a bit, and you have me, I guess. But it's not all that bad. I could be an "ugly" version of Steve Buscemi.
that's all for today. I'm sorry abotu the lousy postings lately. SO many things going on.
I did a Beck Inventory test. The results are a bit...well, we'll say no more for now. If you don't know what it is, then...heck, that is what Google is for.
Hope to write more soom. Talk to you later.
Friday, October 15, 2004
The local Ramada/Best Western a few blocks form our home has been converted into the Grand Rios Resort and Water Park. (Call 1-866-GRANDRIOS to make your reservations now!)
It's a great addition to the neighborhood, as it will bring plenty of money back into the area, and any improvement to the community has to help the property value, right? Right. But in order to share with you -my dear readers- the full appreciation of this new Mecca of family entertainment, I must first experience it myself. (Next week's review: The Bunny Ranch in Nevada.)
(No, not really.)
Having been to the water park previously (and aren't you disappointed that I didn't right about that?), the night was entirely about trying out the newly opened restaurant attached to the resort, The Beach House Bar and Grille. The decor is one that reminds you of some shaded outdoor Caribbean bistro, overlooking the ocean. Only, this time the view is one of County Road 81 in Minnesota. But the difference between the 2 is soooo minimal, you'll never notice. (eyes roll...)
You can't blame that on the restraint though. And it's not an actual outdoors restaurant; that'd be a bitch for business in January. The walls have been painted an orange color that defies description. It's slightly darker than a cup of orange pop...If orange pop had a dimmer switch, it'd be at about 85% brightness.
Just enough to take the day-glo out of it.
PUMPKIN ORANGE! That's what it is! I imagine that it looks it's best as the light of a sunset bathes the walls with it's own luminescence, and caresses it like a Latin dancer would his female partner.
This is offset by the dark walnut beams across the creamy white ceiling, and the dark walnut booths that line the area, separated by a rows of tables in between the booths. The upholstery on the booths is white and baby blue stries, to remind you of that swimsuit that Puerto Rican honey was wearing in that one dram last we...never mind.
Remove the dark blue stripes and replace them with the light blue ones, and you have the color scheme of the booths.
The tables are made of a similar dark wood as the ceiling beams, and the backing of the chairs at said tables are a spot on match to the walls. I'm not sure I owuld have went with the same color scheme or not, but it's...undescribable. As much as I try to describe it, I can't. There are tiny blue lights that hang over each table, providing enough light to carry on a decent conversation, yet dark enough to protect the intimacy of the party sitting at the table.
Our party consisted of my wife and I, and were then joined by a co-worker of hers, making this review a 2 party system. And we all know THAT doesn't work, so one of us was constantly forced to the Green Pary, which never really has a chance anyway.
The evening was a unique one, meant specifically for those of us to critique the food, so we were presented with a four course dinner, with a limited menu that had choices for each course. Normally, you'd order as anyone else would at any other resteraunt. Advantage: us. While we didn't have the full menu available to us, we still got to try a wide variety of foods acroos the spectrum to report back to you simple folk. did I really type simple? I'm sorry. I meant wonderful people. (Tee hee, I think they bought it!!)
(Mental note: Who the hell types "tee hee" anymore? Grow up, for crimeny sake!)
(that would be sake, NOT Sake {pronounced "sah-ki". Also pronounced "japanese joy juice})
To view the menu, click here.
The first course was appetizers.
My wife went with the beef "Sloppy Nachos" (their name, not mine), and I had what she had left, which implies that I had, well, (should I say it?) "Sloppy Seconds".
Sorry.
I am SOOOOO sorry.
The nachos were what ou might expect of nachos. very good and flavorful though a bit skimpy on sour cream, so if that i your kind of thing, be sure to ask for extra.
Our guest and I both chose to go with the Appetizer Sampler, which allowed us to try most everything else. On the menu.
First up was the cheese quessadilla. There isn't much to say here. There isn't anything special about it at this resteraunt. It's a grilled cheese sandwich with soft tortillas for bread, for crying out loud. There isn't much you can do to improve on that. The habenero salsa it comes with however, is hot enough to get your attention, and yet at the same time, you won't drain glass after glass of water trying to put out the searing pain. A pretty good combination, if you ask me.
The "coconutty shrimp" was crisp on the outside, and rich in flavor on the inside. That's better than saying flavorful for the 13th time in this review.
(Mental note: that's what a thesaurus is for, you moron. )
Also very good with the salsa, but can also be used with a mango chutney provided (think Arby's southwestern sauce), and some sort of apple-y sweet and sour sauce/paste. The shrimp recived very high marks across the board. Even with the wife, who isn't crazy about coconut-themed food!
The pork ribs were prepared well, and cut very well, as you could not tell upon which side the bone was located. Meaty, and with a rich bar-b-q sauce that reminded you of that scene in that movie where the plane crashed on top of that mountain, and they were forced to eat the dead peop......never mind.
Ethan Hawke was in that movie. Ethan Hawke says "Eat me".
No, he didn't.
He could have.
Whether or not he COULD isn't the point. The point is that he didn't.
Sometimes, when I sleep, I dream of killing you.
And THAT my friends, is when you know that the voices inside your head have taken over, and you are simply an innocent bystander to the other personalities within your being as they gain mounting control over whatever scrap of sanity you had left.
Calamari is somewhat of an "acqua"-ired taste. Thankfully, it is one that has grown on me to the point that as long as it doesn't hold any resemblance to an actual squid, I'm ok to eat it. And the calamari at the Beach House Bar and Grill are small breaded circles, resembling tiny onion rings. Excellent. they were crisp and chewy, but not rubbery as it is in alot of places. In other words, they were taught how to prepare calamari correctly.
At 2 o'clock on the appetizer tray (we've went counter-clockwise for those that aren't able to keep up) are buffalo wings, which are really not much different than buffalo wings that you get elsewhere. They have a decent amount of meat on them, with not much fat. (There are some places where the meat-to-fat ratio on a buffalo wing is AT BEST 50-50. I shudder at the thought, yet it is true. I have felt it with my own teeth. ) the buffalo sauce applied to them is of standard fare as well, and the blue cheese dipping sauce is equal to the task.
now, I should mention that the last paragraph made the buffalo wings seem rather ho-hum, which they were not. They were good wings, and wings that I would have again. There simply wasn't anything that was uniquely special about them form others I have had at other restaraunts in the past. If you are looking for a chicken wing that will leave you wishing for absolute certain knowledge about the existence of an afterlife or that of re-incarnation, so you can feel better about your untimely demise as you have unwittingly immolated yourself by biting into a chiken wing (pause so you can process everything up to this point), then I would suggest that you try the Jamacian Chicken Wings. Some wings you can eat one right after the other without feeling too much of a tingle on the tongue. (That would be tingle, not tinkle. )
But there are others that make you swear you had tried to eat a live hornets nest with just a nibble on the chicken drummy you hold in your hands. The Jamacian wings are of the latter sort. They require you to pace yourself. You cannot hope to blaze through them in a quick 15 minutes without realisticly expecting to have to use some sort of medicated pad in your near future.
The best part of the packaging is the "Spanish Instructions included!" bit.
Strangely enough, as disgusting as it was, it was meant to be a compliment. Something tells me that those associated with the Beach House Bar and Grille would prefer that I didn't compliment them anymore. Too bad! They're still coming, hether you want them or not!
Most of the appetizers are comparatively priced with other establishments, and are of higher quality than you will get elsewhere. However, the Appetizer Sampler runs about $18, and as good as the food was, I can't say that it was worth $18. There was enough food, but I don't know that there is quite enough of that great food to justify a $20 charge.
Salads were next, but it took some time to get. And here's the wierd part; the service was very attentive all night. Drinks were filled as quickly as they were drained, and he was quick to answer our questions. But after eating as so many other restaruants that are ready to serve you the next course as soon as your 63% through the current one, we found one that didn't serve you until about maybe 5-10 minutes after you were SURE you were done with the plate sitting in front of you. Is it growing pains, or is it that they are trying to provide a different kind of dining experience to the community? Are they slow because thay arecaterig to dining patrons that prefer a sort of lingering casualness to their meals, sometimes taking 2 hours to finish a meal? Or is it that someone in the kitchen has been sabotaging the wait staff, by slicing straight through their hamstrings, leaving hem helpless on the floor, flailing about, desperate to move so that they can just get my salad to me on time?
I have a vivid imagination today.
And I haven't even thought about...
Op. never mind. There it is.
Which reminds me. Victoria's Secret has a sneak preview of their Holiday collection starting today. Several items of interest to note are the Angels uplift bra in lace with paillettes ($44), the floral halter babyoll ($48), the Very Sexy lace demi balconet bra in red ($45-47), the Very Sexy plunge halter bra WITH SEQUINS ($60), and the Sexy Boyfriend cardigan sweater ($49).
The poorboy mock neck cardigan sweater isn't bad either, though I would suggest a different color. red, black, marine teal, toffee, ivory, berry..something along those lines.
Back to our food review. Next up was the salads, as I was saying. I ordered the 1001 Island salad, while my companions ordered the Rotissere Chicken salad and the Grilled Steak Caesar Tostada. The tiger shrimp were just as succulent as the coconutty shrimp were in the previous course, though a cocktail sauce would have been nice. Then again, cocktail sauce in a salad usually doesn't work well. The salad was mixed well with the dressing, providing full coverage, without drenching each and every leaf of lettuce, the onion and peppers providing a balance not seen since the heady days of Jif and Smuckers.
My wife's salad consisted of a tostada covered in pico de gallo and salad greens, and was garnished around the edges and on top by delicate slices of a medium rare sirloin steak. Individually, the salad was fantastic, and the sirloin was cooked to perfection. Unfortunately, when combining the two in my mouth, all I tasted was the lettuce. That's how it goes sometimes, ut it wasn't an unpleasant experience.
Our friend ordered the rotisserre chicken salad, which consided of a salad mixed well with dressing, and then half of a chicken sitting on top of that bed of lettuce and greenery. Just kinda...plopped on top of it. I am sure that they went through some extrodinary work to present it just so, but the effect never took hold. it was simply half of a chicken on top of a salad. The chicken, however, was delectable, and enough to feed more than 3, seeing as how it was half of a chicken after all. One wonders how someone is to eat all of the salad AND the chicken and still have room for an entree.
The salads themselves are a meal entirely to themselves, and are best looked at as an option opposite the entrees, rather than a preceeding course. Especially considring the cost of one of these salads usually runs about $10-12. However, you get your money's worth, as just one of the salads has enough portions for 3.
The next meal to be served was the entree's themselves. We had a casual wait for the main course to be served, which was nice, because it gave our party a chance to digest the food we had already eaten. Another interesting detail was that after every course they replaced our silverware. Most places have you LARF (Lick And retain Fork), but this place didn't want something as vile as a dirty fork to taint the eating experience of the next plateful of food. Not the type of place you want to be a dishwasher.
For the main course, the women went with steak. My wife went with a well done Wood grilled Filet Mingnon with loaded potatoes (mashed potatoes covered in cheese, bacon, chives,a nd a small bit of sour cream), while our lovely commpany chose the Wood Grilled Top sirloin, also done well. Looking to expand our horizons, and get a full feel for the menu as mucha s possible, I went with The Rotissere Chicken, with mashed potatoes as smooth as the smoothing-est thing you've ever felt in your life. that's right, it was as smooth as this writer's backside. (Well, some of you have felt it. Others have only gazed at wonder from afar. )
The potatoes were as smooth as silk. Smooth as queen anne's lace. Smooth like the underside of a tulip petal. Smooth as a brand new highway. Smooth as Frank Sinatra in Vegas on a Saturday night. Smooth as chocolate syrup on Jaime Pressly. And when you add cheese, chives bacon and a little bit of sour cream, as they did with my wife's potatoes...well, hten ou've got something special there my friend.
Unfortunately, the steak they brought out to my wife was more rare than she had requested. It needed to be sent back and cooked more thoroughly to be well done. No pink. They apologized profusely, and brought it back minutes later cooked much close to my wife's desire. For those of us that like a steak medium rare, it was prepared expertly, and well worth the $20 bill you'll drop for one. The reports on the other side of the table for the top sirloin were very much the ame, though the black beans were avoided altogeather, for personal preference instead of any aversion to the meal. (That's a nice way of saying no one wanted to experience deafening and embarrassing gas over the next 24 hours. )
Yours truly had the rotissere chicken, which turned out to be the other missing half of the chicken, whch by this point had to be disapointed that it sacrificed itself to be picked at, because the person that ordered it had gorged themselves on all of the fabulous food that came before it. However, it would be delighted to know that we would feast upon it's arcas for the next two days, picking it clean, leavig nothing but the bones, some fat, and a little bt of skin unclaimed. Which we storeed in the attic, whereupon we will raise it back to life as it slowly disintigrates back to dust, and is returned to earth upon the apocolypse, and risen again in a chicken zombie army whose sole purpose in after-life is to enslave lesser beings such as blue jays, and worms and Kentucky-ians to build the great chicken coop temple, where they will sacrifice virgin chickens on a cold stone slab with a guillotine, and then pluck the eathers of the sacrifice, and roast it wih a nice mesquite woodsmoke and a sice of roasted corn on the cob, and maybe some coleslaw on the side.
Long live Foghorn Leghorn!
Desert followed soon enough, and we went with a sublime key Lime pie, which captured everything I ever imagined a key lime pie might be, with the essence of the lime found within, enhanced and spported by a light merangue, and a ginger snap crust that provided a wonderful contrast to keep the pie from being too sweet or tart.
The pineapple cheesecake is also a superb choice, which pleasantly surprised me. I didn't think that pineapple and cheesecake could combine in such a melodic way as they had, and the little I had was enough to believe in subtlety and a gentle touch in cooking, and if a person could so intricately lace such tastes togeather without showing any of the seams or stitching (so to speak) used to hold this delicate balance of flavors togeather. My mouth contained the greatness that mankind strives to be, and I wept openly at it's devine presence. The VERY GATES OF HEAVEN opened upon my tongue and the angles marched forward singing the praises of the Holiest of Holies, and were then suddenly swept away as I accidentally swallowed them whole. I felt their presense as they traveled down my esophogus, and the radiant love that spewed forth from the entrance to Nirvana coated my throat and inner stomach lining, leaving me to experience the greatest love imaginable from within and at the same time an immeasurable pain in my heart for destroying something so beautiful by performing such a normal and involuntary bodily function as swallowing. And I stifled the cries in my mouth, and did my best to pretend that nothing had happened, for fear that others would know the terrible thing I had done, and I would never be forgiven. they must never know, I told myself. It is better that they never know about the great wonders that they were on the brink of experiencing, than it would be to know, and live their lives hating me for what I had destroyed. I touched my napkin to my mouth, as if to seal the secret tight within my soul. It would remain there for the rest of my life, to never burden another person's soul ever again. To any person who happened to look upon me, it would appear that I was simply wiping my mouth clean.
I looked around the restaraunt. These poor poor people. Oblivious to the bliss that was about to overtake them. And then I saw him. A man, with a tear in his eye. We made eye contact. he had a pineapple cheesecake in front of him. Yes. Oh, yes. He knew of my pain. He had experienced the same himself. Being men, however, we could not speak of the hurt inside. We simply nodded our heads, acknowledging each other, and what we knew.
And then I pointed him out to my wife, and made fun of him in hushed tones for being a sissy of a man who cries in public. Have some control, you pansy!
My wife ordered the Congo Bar Sundae, which was a scoop of ice cream hidden underneath biscotti shaped blonde brownie strips, drizzled with chocolate, and thick homemade whipped cream, which defied physics. Despite how thick it was, it was light, and caressed your pallate like mothers milk to a baby. were it any better, I would ahve susected witchcraft, and accused them all of unholy practices. Thankfully, it was only as good as it was, which was good enough. The brownie contained coconut, which is an issue for some, but remained undetectable,and the four main ingredients combined to bring you to another plane of mental existence where your sense of self merged with other peoples concious and sub-concious selves, intermingling without any need or regard for your personal identity, or mental protection, since there is no such thing as a mental venereal disease. And if there were such a thing, the Congo Brownie Sundae would be the cure.
Cost of such an evening would normally run most people $160+ drinks. They offer Coca-cola products, but unfortunately there was no Killians beer to be had that night. It had yet to come in, and there ia possibility that it may never come in.
But I find that I must come back to this place. I mut find that leisurely stroll through dinner, and begin again that journey that would bring me to the inevitable destination of desert, so that for even a small moment, I might feel whole again.
NFL Predictions, Week 6:
Carolina at Philadelphia
Carolina has lost their running game with Deshaun foster and Stephen Davis injured, and Jake Delhomme has come down off of his Super Bowl performance closer to where amny of us epected him to play all along. Can he crank it back up to that level again? Sure he can. But by the time he gets back up to that level, Carolina's season could be over. Philadelphia just keeps rolling.
Winner: Philadelphia Eagles
Cincinnati at Cleveland
Cincinnatti has 1 win this year behind a rookie QB. John Kitna has 8 wins last year. I'm not saying it's time to swap the two, because it's not. But I wonder what the folks on Cincinnatti talk radio are saying? "Why the &*^%$ are teh Reds letting Barry Larkin go play for someone else?!"
Oh yeah. Cincinnatti is a baseball town. Almost forgot.
Cleveland is impossible to figure out and they still bore me to death. Their uniforms make me wanna take a nap.
Winner: Cincinatti Bengals, just becuse I am developing a distaste for the Browns.
Green Bay at Detroit
Look carefully. Do you see me dancing this jig? No? Look harder. I'm not even irish, and I'm so happy I've become the understudy to Michael Flatley. (He'll never live down the Lord of the Dance thing.)My Bears may be 1-4. We may have 2 lepers as our only qualified players since the rest of them are injured. But by golly, Green Bay is showing signs of falling apart like a person with a really bad skin disease...like....leperosy. (I know. Stop picking on the lepers.) Detroit is an average team right now, but if they can get to Green Bay, and pull off a win, then the Packers will be as bad as us.
See, I'm not one of those fans that can tip their cap tot eh other team when they win. I used to be that guy, but my hatred for the Packers has grown to such porportions that it's just not safe for human consumption. Neither are epsecially great on defense, but the Lions offense is moving the ball better than the Packrs at this point.
Winner: Detroit Lions
Houston at Tennessee
Houston couldn't close the deal against the Vikings, and allowed the Vikings to slip out of a collapse towards the end of the game, when the Vikings ran a sant pattern over the middle that allowd Marcus Robinson to score a 50 yard TD. The Tennessee Titans overcame a rather mediocre defensive effort against the Packers by turning up the jets on the offense. They scored 48 points against the Pack in Green Bay's own back yard. The award for Chicago Bear fan appreciation and karma of the week award goes to the Titans. If the Titans can keep up the effort, they'll be back in it with the Colts for the division.
Winner: Tennessee Titans
Kansas City at Jacksonville
Kansas city can't afford to lose. Jacksonville can't seem to do any wrong. How this happens, I have no idea. I have no idea how to call this one, other than fred taylor admitted during an interview yesterday that his favorite player growing up was Walter Payton. Well, there's that and the fact they are the home team this week.
Winner: Jacksonville Jaguars.
Miami at Buffalo
I could go on a long diatribe about this game, and how both teams are terribble, and it'll come down to which team sucks less. I could talk about hwo the Buffalo Offense is better than the Miami offense, but it's also going up against a better defense, since the Miami defense is better than the Buffalo defense. I could talk about how Miami was forced to use a Wr as it's kicker last week. But when the Dolphins are on their 3rd Qb of the year, and that QB is no better (OR NO WRSE) that the previous 2, there is no reason to pick them. At least there is an off chance with Drew Bledsoe that he'll have a magic re-awakening-if even for one game- of the QB he used to be all those years ago with the Patriots when he threw for 4000+ yards a season.
Rule of picking gamesin 2005 # 1: Make the Dolphins prove they can win a game before you pick them in an week.
Winner: Buffalo Bills
San Diego at Atlanta
Kathmarie is just one of the many girls that are featured at Bullz-eye.com. she just happens to be the latest that has caught my eye. I mention this now, because well, it's easier to give you a link of a pretty girl than it is to explain how the heck the San Diego Chargers are winning games.
No, it isn't. they're winning because they're relying on Ladanian Tomlinson in the running gmae, and Drew Breess has stepped up his play.
You again? Stop interupting me!
Atlanta meanwhile, suffered a small setback last week, and thier offensive inexperience showed through a bit. they're still not running as effeciently as they want to, but because the division is so poor right now (Saints, Panthers, Buccaneers with a combined total of 4 wins and 10 losses) they can get away with some of that. Not alot however. Don't get cocky just yet.
this matchup also brings to mind the trade that allowed Atlanta to draft Mike Vick in exchange for what turned out to be Ladanan tomlinson and Drew Brees. While it's nice on an incedental level, what will really determine who won that trade will be if either or any of those guys win a Super Bowl for their team.
Winner: Atlanta Falcons at home.
Seattle at New England
After having a virtual bye last week againt the Miami dolphins, the Patriots get an actual test in the seattle Seahawks. The Seahawks have been playing well, but let the game slip away from them last week against the Rams.
Rule for picking games in 2005 32: Don't pick against the Patriots until they give you reason to.
Winner: New England Patriots
San Francisco at N.Y. Jets
Not much to say here, either. San Francisco is bad this year. the Jets are decent, if not good.
Here's something for the lack of material.
Winner: New York Jets at home.
Washington at Chicago
Washington is better than they are letting on. People are giving Joe Gibbs a bunch of crap for not marching straight to the Super Bowl, but give the guy a BREAK! All of the palyers are in their first year in his program,and he's got some growing pains himself.
Meanwhile, Chicago is cautiously optimistic that Brian Urlacher will rturn this week to play against them. that's well and good on the defensive side (especially going against Clinton Portis), but it does nothing for our go-nowhere offense. Thomas Jones has been great, but he can only do so much if there is no threat of a passing game. Still, with the way Washington has been slumping lately, maybe they still ahve one loss left in them...
Winner: Washington Redskins
Denver at Oakland
Great rivalry that lives up to the hype every time. Blowout or close game, it's alwys fun to watch this game. UNlike those danged Browns games. Ruben droughns is a former University of Oregon player. Why that is important, i have no idea. He ran for 193 yards last week, and gets the start again. He won't ahve that same success against the Oakland defensive linemen, but it'll give the Oakland defensive coordinator something to think about. There is talk about trading all-time great Jerry Rice. We ahve entered into the realm of the surreal.
Winner: Oakland Raiders at home.
Pittsburgh at Dallas
reminds me of Super Bowl XXX. I proposed to my wife during that Super Bowl. Neither of these teams are Super Bowl caliber any time soon. Same result in this game as there was in that game, though.
Winner: Dallas Cowboys
Minnesota at New Orleans
Minnesota keeps the offense rolling despite a horrid defense.
Winner: Minnsota Vikings
Monday, Oct. 18
Tampa Bay at St. Louis
there was a time that this used to be a great game. this is not that time. Both teams are average at best. It might be entertaining to see St Louis, but Tampa Bay is an eyesore to watch anymore.
Winner: St Louis Rams
Good night all.
It's a great addition to the neighborhood, as it will bring plenty of money back into the area, and any improvement to the community has to help the property value, right? Right. But in order to share with you -my dear readers- the full appreciation of this new Mecca of family entertainment, I must first experience it myself. (Next week's review: The Bunny Ranch in Nevada.)
(No, not really.)
Having been to the water park previously (and aren't you disappointed that I didn't right about that?), the night was entirely about trying out the newly opened restaurant attached to the resort, The Beach House Bar and Grille. The decor is one that reminds you of some shaded outdoor Caribbean bistro, overlooking the ocean. Only, this time the view is one of County Road 81 in Minnesota. But the difference between the 2 is soooo minimal, you'll never notice. (eyes roll...)
You can't blame that on the restraint though. And it's not an actual outdoors restaurant; that'd be a bitch for business in January. The walls have been painted an orange color that defies description. It's slightly darker than a cup of orange pop...If orange pop had a dimmer switch, it'd be at about 85% brightness.
Just enough to take the day-glo out of it.
PUMPKIN ORANGE! That's what it is! I imagine that it looks it's best as the light of a sunset bathes the walls with it's own luminescence, and caresses it like a Latin dancer would his female partner.
This is offset by the dark walnut beams across the creamy white ceiling, and the dark walnut booths that line the area, separated by a rows of tables in between the booths. The upholstery on the booths is white and baby blue stries, to remind you of that swimsuit that Puerto Rican honey was wearing in that one dram last we...never mind.
Remove the dark blue stripes and replace them with the light blue ones, and you have the color scheme of the booths.
The tables are made of a similar dark wood as the ceiling beams, and the backing of the chairs at said tables are a spot on match to the walls. I'm not sure I owuld have went with the same color scheme or not, but it's...undescribable. As much as I try to describe it, I can't. There are tiny blue lights that hang over each table, providing enough light to carry on a decent conversation, yet dark enough to protect the intimacy of the party sitting at the table.
Our party consisted of my wife and I, and were then joined by a co-worker of hers, making this review a 2 party system. And we all know THAT doesn't work, so one of us was constantly forced to the Green Pary, which never really has a chance anyway.
The evening was a unique one, meant specifically for those of us to critique the food, so we were presented with a four course dinner, with a limited menu that had choices for each course. Normally, you'd order as anyone else would at any other resteraunt. Advantage: us. While we didn't have the full menu available to us, we still got to try a wide variety of foods acroos the spectrum to report back to you simple folk. did I really type simple? I'm sorry. I meant wonderful people. (Tee hee, I think they bought it!!)
(Mental note: Who the hell types "tee hee" anymore? Grow up, for crimeny sake!)
(that would be sake, NOT Sake {pronounced "sah-ki". Also pronounced "japanese joy juice})
To view the menu, click here.
The first course was appetizers.
My wife went with the beef "Sloppy Nachos" (their name, not mine), and I had what she had left, which implies that I had, well, (should I say it?) "Sloppy Seconds".
Sorry.
I am SOOOOO sorry.
The nachos were what ou might expect of nachos. very good and flavorful though a bit skimpy on sour cream, so if that i your kind of thing, be sure to ask for extra.
Our guest and I both chose to go with the Appetizer Sampler, which allowed us to try most everything else. On the menu.
First up was the cheese quessadilla. There isn't much to say here. There isn't anything special about it at this resteraunt. It's a grilled cheese sandwich with soft tortillas for bread, for crying out loud. There isn't much you can do to improve on that. The habenero salsa it comes with however, is hot enough to get your attention, and yet at the same time, you won't drain glass after glass of water trying to put out the searing pain. A pretty good combination, if you ask me.
The "coconutty shrimp" was crisp on the outside, and rich in flavor on the inside. That's better than saying flavorful for the 13th time in this review.
(Mental note: that's what a thesaurus is for, you moron. )
Also very good with the salsa, but can also be used with a mango chutney provided (think Arby's southwestern sauce), and some sort of apple-y sweet and sour sauce/paste. The shrimp recived very high marks across the board. Even with the wife, who isn't crazy about coconut-themed food!
The pork ribs were prepared well, and cut very well, as you could not tell upon which side the bone was located. Meaty, and with a rich bar-b-q sauce that reminded you of that scene in that movie where the plane crashed on top of that mountain, and they were forced to eat the dead peop......never mind.
Ethan Hawke was in that movie. Ethan Hawke says "Eat me".
No, he didn't.
He could have.
Whether or not he COULD isn't the point. The point is that he didn't.
Sometimes, when I sleep, I dream of killing you.
And THAT my friends, is when you know that the voices inside your head have taken over, and you are simply an innocent bystander to the other personalities within your being as they gain mounting control over whatever scrap of sanity you had left.
Calamari is somewhat of an "acqua"-ired taste. Thankfully, it is one that has grown on me to the point that as long as it doesn't hold any resemblance to an actual squid, I'm ok to eat it. And the calamari at the Beach House Bar and Grill are small breaded circles, resembling tiny onion rings. Excellent. they were crisp and chewy, but not rubbery as it is in alot of places. In other words, they were taught how to prepare calamari correctly.
At 2 o'clock on the appetizer tray (we've went counter-clockwise for those that aren't able to keep up) are buffalo wings, which are really not much different than buffalo wings that you get elsewhere. They have a decent amount of meat on them, with not much fat. (There are some places where the meat-to-fat ratio on a buffalo wing is AT BEST 50-50. I shudder at the thought, yet it is true. I have felt it with my own teeth. ) the buffalo sauce applied to them is of standard fare as well, and the blue cheese dipping sauce is equal to the task.
now, I should mention that the last paragraph made the buffalo wings seem rather ho-hum, which they were not. They were good wings, and wings that I would have again. There simply wasn't anything that was uniquely special about them form others I have had at other restaraunts in the past. If you are looking for a chicken wing that will leave you wishing for absolute certain knowledge about the existence of an afterlife or that of re-incarnation, so you can feel better about your untimely demise as you have unwittingly immolated yourself by biting into a chiken wing (pause so you can process everything up to this point), then I would suggest that you try the Jamacian Chicken Wings. Some wings you can eat one right after the other without feeling too much of a tingle on the tongue. (That would be tingle, not tinkle. )
But there are others that make you swear you had tried to eat a live hornets nest with just a nibble on the chicken drummy you hold in your hands. The Jamacian wings are of the latter sort. They require you to pace yourself. You cannot hope to blaze through them in a quick 15 minutes without realisticly expecting to have to use some sort of medicated pad in your near future.
The best part of the packaging is the "Spanish Instructions included!" bit.
Strangely enough, as disgusting as it was, it was meant to be a compliment. Something tells me that those associated with the Beach House Bar and Grille would prefer that I didn't compliment them anymore. Too bad! They're still coming, hether you want them or not!
Most of the appetizers are comparatively priced with other establishments, and are of higher quality than you will get elsewhere. However, the Appetizer Sampler runs about $18, and as good as the food was, I can't say that it was worth $18. There was enough food, but I don't know that there is quite enough of that great food to justify a $20 charge.
Salads were next, but it took some time to get. And here's the wierd part; the service was very attentive all night. Drinks were filled as quickly as they were drained, and he was quick to answer our questions. But after eating as so many other restaruants that are ready to serve you the next course as soon as your 63% through the current one, we found one that didn't serve you until about maybe 5-10 minutes after you were SURE you were done with the plate sitting in front of you. Is it growing pains, or is it that they are trying to provide a different kind of dining experience to the community? Are they slow because thay arecaterig to dining patrons that prefer a sort of lingering casualness to their meals, sometimes taking 2 hours to finish a meal? Or is it that someone in the kitchen has been sabotaging the wait staff, by slicing straight through their hamstrings, leaving hem helpless on the floor, flailing about, desperate to move so that they can just get my salad to me on time?
I have a vivid imagination today.
And I haven't even thought about...
Op. never mind. There it is.
Which reminds me. Victoria's Secret has a sneak preview of their Holiday collection starting today. Several items of interest to note are the Angels uplift bra in lace with paillettes ($44), the floral halter babyoll ($48), the Very Sexy lace demi balconet bra in red ($45-47), the Very Sexy plunge halter bra WITH SEQUINS ($60), and the Sexy Boyfriend cardigan sweater ($49).
The poorboy mock neck cardigan sweater isn't bad either, though I would suggest a different color. red, black, marine teal, toffee, ivory, berry..something along those lines.
Back to our food review. Next up was the salads, as I was saying. I ordered the 1001 Island salad, while my companions ordered the Rotissere Chicken salad and the Grilled Steak Caesar Tostada. The tiger shrimp were just as succulent as the coconutty shrimp were in the previous course, though a cocktail sauce would have been nice. Then again, cocktail sauce in a salad usually doesn't work well. The salad was mixed well with the dressing, providing full coverage, without drenching each and every leaf of lettuce, the onion and peppers providing a balance not seen since the heady days of Jif and Smuckers.
My wife's salad consisted of a tostada covered in pico de gallo and salad greens, and was garnished around the edges and on top by delicate slices of a medium rare sirloin steak. Individually, the salad was fantastic, and the sirloin was cooked to perfection. Unfortunately, when combining the two in my mouth, all I tasted was the lettuce. That's how it goes sometimes, ut it wasn't an unpleasant experience.
Our friend ordered the rotisserre chicken salad, which consided of a salad mixed well with dressing, and then half of a chicken sitting on top of that bed of lettuce and greenery. Just kinda...plopped on top of it. I am sure that they went through some extrodinary work to present it just so, but the effect never took hold. it was simply half of a chicken on top of a salad. The chicken, however, was delectable, and enough to feed more than 3, seeing as how it was half of a chicken after all. One wonders how someone is to eat all of the salad AND the chicken and still have room for an entree.
The salads themselves are a meal entirely to themselves, and are best looked at as an option opposite the entrees, rather than a preceeding course. Especially considring the cost of one of these salads usually runs about $10-12. However, you get your money's worth, as just one of the salads has enough portions for 3.
The next meal to be served was the entree's themselves. We had a casual wait for the main course to be served, which was nice, because it gave our party a chance to digest the food we had already eaten. Another interesting detail was that after every course they replaced our silverware. Most places have you LARF (Lick And retain Fork), but this place didn't want something as vile as a dirty fork to taint the eating experience of the next plateful of food. Not the type of place you want to be a dishwasher.
For the main course, the women went with steak. My wife went with a well done Wood grilled Filet Mingnon with loaded potatoes (mashed potatoes covered in cheese, bacon, chives,a nd a small bit of sour cream), while our lovely commpany chose the Wood Grilled Top sirloin, also done well. Looking to expand our horizons, and get a full feel for the menu as mucha s possible, I went with The Rotissere Chicken, with mashed potatoes as smooth as the smoothing-est thing you've ever felt in your life. that's right, it was as smooth as this writer's backside. (Well, some of you have felt it. Others have only gazed at wonder from afar. )
The potatoes were as smooth as silk. Smooth as queen anne's lace. Smooth like the underside of a tulip petal. Smooth as a brand new highway. Smooth as Frank Sinatra in Vegas on a Saturday night. Smooth as chocolate syrup on Jaime Pressly. And when you add cheese, chives bacon and a little bit of sour cream, as they did with my wife's potatoes...well, hten ou've got something special there my friend.
Unfortunately, the steak they brought out to my wife was more rare than she had requested. It needed to be sent back and cooked more thoroughly to be well done. No pink. They apologized profusely, and brought it back minutes later cooked much close to my wife's desire. For those of us that like a steak medium rare, it was prepared expertly, and well worth the $20 bill you'll drop for one. The reports on the other side of the table for the top sirloin were very much the ame, though the black beans were avoided altogeather, for personal preference instead of any aversion to the meal. (That's a nice way of saying no one wanted to experience deafening and embarrassing gas over the next 24 hours. )
Yours truly had the rotissere chicken, which turned out to be the other missing half of the chicken, whch by this point had to be disapointed that it sacrificed itself to be picked at, because the person that ordered it had gorged themselves on all of the fabulous food that came before it. However, it would be delighted to know that we would feast upon it's arcas for the next two days, picking it clean, leavig nothing but the bones, some fat, and a little bt of skin unclaimed. Which we storeed in the attic, whereupon we will raise it back to life as it slowly disintigrates back to dust, and is returned to earth upon the apocolypse, and risen again in a chicken zombie army whose sole purpose in after-life is to enslave lesser beings such as blue jays, and worms and Kentucky-ians to build the great chicken coop temple, where they will sacrifice virgin chickens on a cold stone slab with a guillotine, and then pluck the eathers of the sacrifice, and roast it wih a nice mesquite woodsmoke and a sice of roasted corn on the cob, and maybe some coleslaw on the side.
Long live Foghorn Leghorn!
Desert followed soon enough, and we went with a sublime key Lime pie, which captured everything I ever imagined a key lime pie might be, with the essence of the lime found within, enhanced and spported by a light merangue, and a ginger snap crust that provided a wonderful contrast to keep the pie from being too sweet or tart.
The pineapple cheesecake is also a superb choice, which pleasantly surprised me. I didn't think that pineapple and cheesecake could combine in such a melodic way as they had, and the little I had was enough to believe in subtlety and a gentle touch in cooking, and if a person could so intricately lace such tastes togeather without showing any of the seams or stitching (so to speak) used to hold this delicate balance of flavors togeather. My mouth contained the greatness that mankind strives to be, and I wept openly at it's devine presence. The VERY GATES OF HEAVEN opened upon my tongue and the angles marched forward singing the praises of the Holiest of Holies, and were then suddenly swept away as I accidentally swallowed them whole. I felt their presense as they traveled down my esophogus, and the radiant love that spewed forth from the entrance to Nirvana coated my throat and inner stomach lining, leaving me to experience the greatest love imaginable from within and at the same time an immeasurable pain in my heart for destroying something so beautiful by performing such a normal and involuntary bodily function as swallowing. And I stifled the cries in my mouth, and did my best to pretend that nothing had happened, for fear that others would know the terrible thing I had done, and I would never be forgiven. they must never know, I told myself. It is better that they never know about the great wonders that they were on the brink of experiencing, than it would be to know, and live their lives hating me for what I had destroyed. I touched my napkin to my mouth, as if to seal the secret tight within my soul. It would remain there for the rest of my life, to never burden another person's soul ever again. To any person who happened to look upon me, it would appear that I was simply wiping my mouth clean.
I looked around the restaraunt. These poor poor people. Oblivious to the bliss that was about to overtake them. And then I saw him. A man, with a tear in his eye. We made eye contact. he had a pineapple cheesecake in front of him. Yes. Oh, yes. He knew of my pain. He had experienced the same himself. Being men, however, we could not speak of the hurt inside. We simply nodded our heads, acknowledging each other, and what we knew.
And then I pointed him out to my wife, and made fun of him in hushed tones for being a sissy of a man who cries in public. Have some control, you pansy!
My wife ordered the Congo Bar Sundae, which was a scoop of ice cream hidden underneath biscotti shaped blonde brownie strips, drizzled with chocolate, and thick homemade whipped cream, which defied physics. Despite how thick it was, it was light, and caressed your pallate like mothers milk to a baby. were it any better, I would ahve susected witchcraft, and accused them all of unholy practices. Thankfully, it was only as good as it was, which was good enough. The brownie contained coconut, which is an issue for some, but remained undetectable,and the four main ingredients combined to bring you to another plane of mental existence where your sense of self merged with other peoples concious and sub-concious selves, intermingling without any need or regard for your personal identity, or mental protection, since there is no such thing as a mental venereal disease. And if there were such a thing, the Congo Brownie Sundae would be the cure.
Cost of such an evening would normally run most people $160+ drinks. They offer Coca-cola products, but unfortunately there was no Killians beer to be had that night. It had yet to come in, and there ia possibility that it may never come in.
But I find that I must come back to this place. I mut find that leisurely stroll through dinner, and begin again that journey that would bring me to the inevitable destination of desert, so that for even a small moment, I might feel whole again.
NFL Predictions, Week 6:
Carolina at Philadelphia
Carolina has lost their running game with Deshaun foster and Stephen Davis injured, and Jake Delhomme has come down off of his Super Bowl performance closer to where amny of us epected him to play all along. Can he crank it back up to that level again? Sure he can. But by the time he gets back up to that level, Carolina's season could be over. Philadelphia just keeps rolling.
Winner: Philadelphia Eagles
Cincinnati at Cleveland
Cincinnatti has 1 win this year behind a rookie QB. John Kitna has 8 wins last year. I'm not saying it's time to swap the two, because it's not. But I wonder what the folks on Cincinnatti talk radio are saying? "Why the &*^%$ are teh Reds letting Barry Larkin go play for someone else?!"
Oh yeah. Cincinnatti is a baseball town. Almost forgot.
Cleveland is impossible to figure out and they still bore me to death. Their uniforms make me wanna take a nap.
Winner: Cincinatti Bengals, just becuse I am developing a distaste for the Browns.
Green Bay at Detroit
Look carefully. Do you see me dancing this jig? No? Look harder. I'm not even irish, and I'm so happy I've become the understudy to Michael Flatley. (He'll never live down the Lord of the Dance thing.)My Bears may be 1-4. We may have 2 lepers as our only qualified players since the rest of them are injured. But by golly, Green Bay is showing signs of falling apart like a person with a really bad skin disease...like....leperosy. (I know. Stop picking on the lepers.) Detroit is an average team right now, but if they can get to Green Bay, and pull off a win, then the Packers will be as bad as us.
See, I'm not one of those fans that can tip their cap tot eh other team when they win. I used to be that guy, but my hatred for the Packers has grown to such porportions that it's just not safe for human consumption. Neither are epsecially great on defense, but the Lions offense is moving the ball better than the Packrs at this point.
Winner: Detroit Lions
Houston at Tennessee
Houston couldn't close the deal against the Vikings, and allowed the Vikings to slip out of a collapse towards the end of the game, when the Vikings ran a sant pattern over the middle that allowd Marcus Robinson to score a 50 yard TD. The Tennessee Titans overcame a rather mediocre defensive effort against the Packers by turning up the jets on the offense. They scored 48 points against the Pack in Green Bay's own back yard. The award for Chicago Bear fan appreciation and karma of the week award goes to the Titans. If the Titans can keep up the effort, they'll be back in it with the Colts for the division.
Winner: Tennessee Titans
Kansas City at Jacksonville
Kansas city can't afford to lose. Jacksonville can't seem to do any wrong. How this happens, I have no idea. I have no idea how to call this one, other than fred taylor admitted during an interview yesterday that his favorite player growing up was Walter Payton. Well, there's that and the fact they are the home team this week.
Winner: Jacksonville Jaguars.
Miami at Buffalo
I could go on a long diatribe about this game, and how both teams are terribble, and it'll come down to which team sucks less. I could talk about hwo the Buffalo Offense is better than the Miami offense, but it's also going up against a better defense, since the Miami defense is better than the Buffalo defense. I could talk about how Miami was forced to use a Wr as it's kicker last week. But when the Dolphins are on their 3rd Qb of the year, and that QB is no better (OR NO WRSE) that the previous 2, there is no reason to pick them. At least there is an off chance with Drew Bledsoe that he'll have a magic re-awakening-if even for one game- of the QB he used to be all those years ago with the Patriots when he threw for 4000+ yards a season.
Rule of picking gamesin 2005 # 1: Make the Dolphins prove they can win a game before you pick them in an week.
Winner: Buffalo Bills
San Diego at Atlanta
Kathmarie is just one of the many girls that are featured at Bullz-eye.com. she just happens to be the latest that has caught my eye. I mention this now, because well, it's easier to give you a link of a pretty girl than it is to explain how the heck the San Diego Chargers are winning games.
No, it isn't. they're winning because they're relying on Ladanian Tomlinson in the running gmae, and Drew Breess has stepped up his play.
You again? Stop interupting me!
Atlanta meanwhile, suffered a small setback last week, and thier offensive inexperience showed through a bit. they're still not running as effeciently as they want to, but because the division is so poor right now (Saints, Panthers, Buccaneers with a combined total of 4 wins and 10 losses) they can get away with some of that. Not alot however. Don't get cocky just yet.
this matchup also brings to mind the trade that allowed Atlanta to draft Mike Vick in exchange for what turned out to be Ladanan tomlinson and Drew Brees. While it's nice on an incedental level, what will really determine who won that trade will be if either or any of those guys win a Super Bowl for their team.
Winner: Atlanta Falcons at home.
Seattle at New England
After having a virtual bye last week againt the Miami dolphins, the Patriots get an actual test in the seattle Seahawks. The Seahawks have been playing well, but let the game slip away from them last week against the Rams.
Rule for picking games in 2005 32: Don't pick against the Patriots until they give you reason to.
Winner: New England Patriots
San Francisco at N.Y. Jets
Not much to say here, either. San Francisco is bad this year. the Jets are decent, if not good.
Here's something for the lack of material.
Winner: New York Jets at home.
Washington at Chicago
Washington is better than they are letting on. People are giving Joe Gibbs a bunch of crap for not marching straight to the Super Bowl, but give the guy a BREAK! All of the palyers are in their first year in his program,and he's got some growing pains himself.
Meanwhile, Chicago is cautiously optimistic that Brian Urlacher will rturn this week to play against them. that's well and good on the defensive side (especially going against Clinton Portis), but it does nothing for our go-nowhere offense. Thomas Jones has been great, but he can only do so much if there is no threat of a passing game. Still, with the way Washington has been slumping lately, maybe they still ahve one loss left in them...
Winner: Washington Redskins
Denver at Oakland
Great rivalry that lives up to the hype every time. Blowout or close game, it's alwys fun to watch this game. UNlike those danged Browns games. Ruben droughns is a former University of Oregon player. Why that is important, i have no idea. He ran for 193 yards last week, and gets the start again. He won't ahve that same success against the Oakland defensive linemen, but it'll give the Oakland defensive coordinator something to think about. There is talk about trading all-time great Jerry Rice. We ahve entered into the realm of the surreal.
Winner: Oakland Raiders at home.
Pittsburgh at Dallas
reminds me of Super Bowl XXX. I proposed to my wife during that Super Bowl. Neither of these teams are Super Bowl caliber any time soon. Same result in this game as there was in that game, though.
Winner: Dallas Cowboys
Minnesota at New Orleans
Minnesota keeps the offense rolling despite a horrid defense.
Winner: Minnsota Vikings
Monday, Oct. 18
Tampa Bay at St. Louis
there was a time that this used to be a great game. this is not that time. Both teams are average at best. It might be entertaining to see St Louis, but Tampa Bay is an eyesore to watch anymore.
Winner: St Louis Rams
Good night all.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Ok, so I lied. This ain't gonna be any return to the good old days. I've flittered away my time,and now I'm forced to bang out a quick update, along with my NFL picks. HEll, I don't even know how I did last week. Dammit all to hell, this was the last thing I wanted to do when it came to my picks.
OK, enough bitching.
Last weeks's results:
7-7
Yearly Results to date:
38-21.
Meh. Hardly a great record,a nd a pretty bad week for predictions, but predicting NFl games is so damn tough from week to week. Every Sunday has become "Any Given Sunday", where just about anyone is capable of winning. Unless you're the Dolphins this year, that is.
Let's get to the predictions.
Cleveland at Pittsburgh
Cleveland is a mystery to me, since I don't watch them at all. Pittsburgh is
Detroit at Atlanta
Miami at New England
Minnesota at Houston
N.Y. Giants at Dallas
Oakland at Indianapolis
Tampa Bay at New Orleans
Buffalo at N.Y. Jets
Jacksonville at San Diego
Arizona at San Francisco
Carolina at Denver
St. Louis at Seattle
Baltimore at Washington
Monday, Oct. 11
Tennessee at Green Bay
Well, I was planning on typing everything previous to this in and commiting it on Saturday, but plans got in the way, and while I could cheat and post it anyway, it's beter to be honest with my audience. I even have the wife to vouch for me that I had made my picks prior to any of the football action taking place on Sunday. But to be as honest as I can, I'm going to fall on the sword and take an 0-13.
That puts my record at 38-34 for the year. Htems the breaks for not getting my predictions in on time.
Which really sucks, because I had the Titans game called correctly. Ah well. We'll try better next time.
Twins Season Over
After battling against a foe who has $130 million dollars in payroll to spend more than us, the Twins are looking at another 6 month wait before they're able to play ball again. In that time, we're certain to see the departure of a few of our players, since we have a rather limited budget to work with. And yet, that same limited budget allowed us to make some rather wise decisions. If we had the money, we most likely never would have traded for Joe Nathan, who dfeveloped into a better closer than Eddie Guardado, who had some problems with the Mariners before he suffered a season ending injury. Nor would we have as much incentive to develop such a strong farm system capable of providing such players as Lew Ford, Jason Kubel nad Terry Tiffee, who were all able to step in and make contributions throughout the year.
It'll be sad to see some of our favorite guys go, like Jaque Jones and Luis Rivas, and quite possibly Corey Koskie. I always liked Jaque, and when he first came up, there was some question if he or Torii Hunter would be the center fielder of the team. As time went on, Torii became the dominant fielder, but Jaque was no slouch. He's been great at getting some big clutch hits for us. He is emotional and fiery, and adds that dimension to the team. He so desperately wants to be the hero of the moment, and it's admirable, but it hurts him as much as it drives him. In so many instances, he is so busy swinging for the home run, he strikes out, or ends up grounding out. His stats prove that, as he has 24 home runs, but he also led the team in strike outs with 117 and an overall average of only .254. He had 2 home runs in the post season against the Yankees, but also 6 strike outs in 20 at bats. Game 1 was a perfect example or microcosim of his tenure with the Twins. 1 home run, which was balanced with a strike out,a ground out, and a fly out. His intangibles are great, but not enough to keep him on the team, especially with Lew Ford, Json Kubel and possibly Michael Restovich waiting to take over in right field. Like A.J. Pierzinski before him, we enjoyed our brief time with him as a Twin and hope to see him again whenever we face his National League Team in the World Series.
Luis Rivas was probably the most fearless second baseman I've seen in some time, in standing in thre and taking the charge on relay feed on a double play. His speed and range were assets in years past, and he looked to have a bright future. But this year he plateaued and didn't provide much of anything this year, beyond a Denny Hocking like contribution. That's ok, but most utility guys can give us what he did.
Corey Koskie is tough and dependable, and a good glove on the 3rd base side. He is known to get hot for small stretches before some injury knocks him out of action, and he cools off, seemingly taking a month or 6 weeks to warm up yet again. And I can't blame the Twins for going either direction, whether it be to re-sign him or to let him go in free agency. He led the team in home runs, and he provided solid defense at 3rd throughout his career in MN. Yet he only hit .251 for the season, and there are some decent prospects to take over for him at 3rd base. Corey was a fixture in the community and had been embraced by the same community when his family suffered a mis-carriage. Twice. Certain things go beyond baseball, and Corey proved to be a player we all could be proud of. But as a ballplayer, it's too tough of a call for me to make. Which would be why I'm not the general Manager of the Minnesota Twins.
Tomorrow:
A food review! Those are always popular! this is one of Beach House Grille and Bar, located within the pleasant confines of one Grand Rios RESORT and Water Park.
OK, enough bitching.
Last weeks's results:
7-7
Yearly Results to date:
38-21.
Meh. Hardly a great record,a nd a pretty bad week for predictions, but predicting NFl games is so damn tough from week to week. Every Sunday has become "Any Given Sunday", where just about anyone is capable of winning. Unless you're the Dolphins this year, that is.
Let's get to the predictions.
Cleveland at Pittsburgh
Cleveland is a mystery to me, since I don't watch them at all. Pittsburgh is
Detroit at Atlanta
Miami at New England
Minnesota at Houston
N.Y. Giants at Dallas
Oakland at Indianapolis
Tampa Bay at New Orleans
Buffalo at N.Y. Jets
Jacksonville at San Diego
Arizona at San Francisco
Carolina at Denver
St. Louis at Seattle
Baltimore at Washington
Monday, Oct. 11
Tennessee at Green Bay
Well, I was planning on typing everything previous to this in and commiting it on Saturday, but plans got in the way, and while I could cheat and post it anyway, it's beter to be honest with my audience. I even have the wife to vouch for me that I had made my picks prior to any of the football action taking place on Sunday. But to be as honest as I can, I'm going to fall on the sword and take an 0-13.
That puts my record at 38-34 for the year. Htems the breaks for not getting my predictions in on time.
Which really sucks, because I had the Titans game called correctly. Ah well. We'll try better next time.
Twins Season Over
After battling against a foe who has $130 million dollars in payroll to spend more than us, the Twins are looking at another 6 month wait before they're able to play ball again. In that time, we're certain to see the departure of a few of our players, since we have a rather limited budget to work with. And yet, that same limited budget allowed us to make some rather wise decisions. If we had the money, we most likely never would have traded for Joe Nathan, who dfeveloped into a better closer than Eddie Guardado, who had some problems with the Mariners before he suffered a season ending injury. Nor would we have as much incentive to develop such a strong farm system capable of providing such players as Lew Ford, Jason Kubel nad Terry Tiffee, who were all able to step in and make contributions throughout the year.
It'll be sad to see some of our favorite guys go, like Jaque Jones and Luis Rivas, and quite possibly Corey Koskie. I always liked Jaque, and when he first came up, there was some question if he or Torii Hunter would be the center fielder of the team. As time went on, Torii became the dominant fielder, but Jaque was no slouch. He's been great at getting some big clutch hits for us. He is emotional and fiery, and adds that dimension to the team. He so desperately wants to be the hero of the moment, and it's admirable, but it hurts him as much as it drives him. In so many instances, he is so busy swinging for the home run, he strikes out, or ends up grounding out. His stats prove that, as he has 24 home runs, but he also led the team in strike outs with 117 and an overall average of only .254. He had 2 home runs in the post season against the Yankees, but also 6 strike outs in 20 at bats. Game 1 was a perfect example or microcosim of his tenure with the Twins. 1 home run, which was balanced with a strike out,a ground out, and a fly out. His intangibles are great, but not enough to keep him on the team, especially with Lew Ford, Json Kubel and possibly Michael Restovich waiting to take over in right field. Like A.J. Pierzinski before him, we enjoyed our brief time with him as a Twin and hope to see him again whenever we face his National League Team in the World Series.
Luis Rivas was probably the most fearless second baseman I've seen in some time, in standing in thre and taking the charge on relay feed on a double play. His speed and range were assets in years past, and he looked to have a bright future. But this year he plateaued and didn't provide much of anything this year, beyond a Denny Hocking like contribution. That's ok, but most utility guys can give us what he did.
Corey Koskie is tough and dependable, and a good glove on the 3rd base side. He is known to get hot for small stretches before some injury knocks him out of action, and he cools off, seemingly taking a month or 6 weeks to warm up yet again. And I can't blame the Twins for going either direction, whether it be to re-sign him or to let him go in free agency. He led the team in home runs, and he provided solid defense at 3rd throughout his career in MN. Yet he only hit .251 for the season, and there are some decent prospects to take over for him at 3rd base. Corey was a fixture in the community and had been embraced by the same community when his family suffered a mis-carriage. Twice. Certain things go beyond baseball, and Corey proved to be a player we all could be proud of. But as a ballplayer, it's too tough of a call for me to make. Which would be why I'm not the general Manager of the Minnesota Twins.
Tomorrow:
A food review! Those are always popular! this is one of Beach House Grille and Bar, located within the pleasant confines of one Grand Rios RESORT and Water Park.
Thursday, October 07, 2004
MEn and women have very much established roles in the mating process. women are to be courted and chased after, and women take a very passive role (for the most part) in waiting for suitors to come calling. It has been primarily my experience that women wait to see who approaches them in order to determine whom they will date, and whom they deem worthy to have dote on them.
Women are wined and dined, and swept off their feet, often leaving the man in charge of planning surprise weekends away, or just a night out on the town. The man is often responsible for sending flowers or a random card exressing his love for his beloved.
Women are given gifts expressing the love that another has for them, and are romanced by people trying to gain favor within the woman's heart.
And I'm jealous as hell.
I have no desire to be the woman in the relationship. But from time to time, it wouldn't hurt my feelings to be wooed. To be chased after. To be wanted and desired. I don't need to be swept off my feet, per se, but everyone has a need to feel needed. No, needed isn't the correct word.
Pursued. Courted. Charmed. Dammit women of the world, woo your men! It's time to return the favor. You do the pursuing for once. The chasing. The proposing. You want equal rights, and that's fine by me. Then pick up your end in the dating scene.
Hometown Hotties Final Round
This is the last week for voting for the final round of the Maxim Hometown Hotties competition, nd if you've followed this far, maybe you'll follow just a little further.
Finalist #1: Martina
Positives: likes Football, was a nanny, 34C, only 2 piecings, prefers to be naked over lingerie, size doesn't matter, prefers to go to a sports game on first date,a nd looks for eyes and butt in a man, 2 things I have. GORGEOUS SMILE.
Negatives: likes Britney Spears, Julia Roberts, 2 tattoos, lives too far from the Daily Update Writer
Martina has a latin background, based off of her appeareance, which will take her quite far. At this point,she's the favorite, and she's the first one off the list.
Finalist #2: Eriana
Positives: Likes baseball, worked at Hooters, 32D, 0 tattoos, never wears underwear, would date a man who wears tighty-whiteys, size doesn't matter, has previously skinny dipped, implying that it is a possibility in the future.
Negatives: 4 piercings (but apparently all in the ears, so it's not all that bad), has been in a fist fight (maybe that should be a good thing), likes handsome men who are well groomed and have a great job. (Strike, 1,2, and 3. ) Didn't smile in a single picture.
Very beautiful girl from Fl who is eliminated for not showing us her pretty smile.
Finalist #3: Stacie
Positives: Sports talk radio host and Hooters girl as a profession!, likes basketball, favorite actor/actress is Jenna Jameson, 34C, no tattoos, wants to go to a sports game for a first date.
Now appearing on a TV surprisingly close to you....
Negatives: The sports show is the Tony Bruno show, she's married,likes the San Antonio Spurs, has 7 piercings, Size matters
Blonde girl who has many wonderful qualities, but....too many negatives to win it outright
Finalist #4: Brittany
Positives: blonde haired girl, single, owns her own home, 34D, only has her ears pierced, 0 tattoos, never wears underwear (despite what the picture shows, apparently, likes to wear a teddy, never been in a fistfight, likes to try new things.
Negatives: pit bull puppy named Maximus....yikes, size matters though she won't admit it, list of her ideal man is longer than....well it's long and let's leave it at that.
Amazing girl who is probably going to give Martina a good run for her money. Very sultry.
Finalist #5: Naomi
Positives: cute college girl type look, single, likes baseball likes comedy movies, doesn't like country, works at a place called Hot Cats, and anyplace you can get a hot grilled cat sandwich, why that is the place for me! Mmmm, smoked tabby! born in Seoul Korea, 32C, 0 tattoos, prefers top be naked than wear lingerie, never been in a fistfight, has had public sex.
Negatives: Likes the San Fransisco Giants, has 6 piercings, including nose, belly, and labret. Size matters, but she won't tell you....(it's still lying if you don't say anything, despite what you might say)
She has a "cute" look to her, and I could see dating her for a few months, but sooner or later I'd screw it up, she'd get bitchy, and that'd end that relationship. I'd spend 2 months wishing I'd never met her,and then finally come around that I can date other girls. But for the small time we were dating, I gotta think that she'd keep things interesting.
Finalist #6: Amber
Positives: Reminds me of pre-slutty Mariah Carey. Yes, that is a good thing. single, likes football, borna nd went to high school in Tacoma, WA. 34B, only has her ears peirced, and 0 tattoos, never been in a fistfight, goes to sports games on a first date, self proclaimed "easily entertained"
Negatives: Likes the Seahawks and the movie Labyrith.
She reminds me of the babe.
What babe?
The babe with the power.
What power?
Voo doo.
Who do?
She do.
Do what?
Remind me of the babe.
Fan of Jessica Simpson's music. Jessica Simpson, I can understand, but her music....I dunno.
Musically, she is to be seen and not heard.
but back to the negatives:
size matters.
Finalist #7: Ursula
Positives: Another person with Seoul (Korea) in her heart, 32B, only 2 piercings in her ears, prefers to be naked, looks at the whole package when first checking out the guy
Negatives: pretty girl who has horrible streaked hair, likes Quentin Tarantino, tattoo, size matters (rather hypocritical of me when I list their bust size as a positive, huh?), not a single smile in a photo
Let's be honest, she's not going to win the competition.
Finalist #8: Crystal
Positives: posed nude, pretty smile, brunette, 34B, never been in a fistfight, adventurous
Negatives: Ohio State BUckeye fan, likes Britney spears, piecings and tattoos, won't admit that she likes 'size" in her men, a list a mile long for her ideal man....
Crystal is a very pretty girl, but she cna't compete here with Brittany and Martina.
Finalist #9: Ella
Positives: very big and pretty smile. likes football, and Minnesota guy Josh Hartnett. Also likes Sheryl Crow's "First cut is the deepest", 34C, never wears underwear, never been in a fistfight, check out the piture of her with the football...
Negatives: Likes country music, a belly piercing, tattoos, has "size" concerns that she'd never mention to you, it's going to take forever for you to get her drunk and convince her that you canuse your rather small equipment on her.
She used to look older to me, for some reason. But now that I look at her....wow. it's really too bad she's unable to break past martina and Brittany.
Finalist #10: Heidi
Ahhh, Heidi. I'd almost forgotten.
Positives-Has both T AND A. Prides herself on not being fake. Whatever that means. She's hot, dude. 34C. prefers to be naked
Negatives: Lynyrd Skynyrd. Nuff Said. Favorite sport is RUNNING?! Extra piercing and tattoo. Has been in a fistfight, needs SIZE to be happy, looks at a guys ring finger (this is bad for me, but a good thing in general)
(Oh, I'm kidding!!)
Again, it will take you a majority of your paycheck to get her under the table, or under the sheets, for that matter.
This brings us back to Martina and Brittany.
After much consideration, we've decided to go with Martina, ofr her gorgeous ethnic looks. It should be noted however, that she nevr would ahve won, had Sonia or Lidia had been allowed to progress to the final round, or even my own Lydia had entered the competition. That said, Martina is very much deserving, and I hoe you all agree with me. If not, well, that is why you can vote for your own damn girl based on your own sick and twisted criteria.
Tomorrow: NFL picks. And maybe a return to the old update style, for a moment or two...
Women are wined and dined, and swept off their feet, often leaving the man in charge of planning surprise weekends away, or just a night out on the town. The man is often responsible for sending flowers or a random card exressing his love for his beloved.
Women are given gifts expressing the love that another has for them, and are romanced by people trying to gain favor within the woman's heart.
And I'm jealous as hell.
I have no desire to be the woman in the relationship. But from time to time, it wouldn't hurt my feelings to be wooed. To be chased after. To be wanted and desired. I don't need to be swept off my feet, per se, but everyone has a need to feel needed. No, needed isn't the correct word.
Pursued. Courted. Charmed. Dammit women of the world, woo your men! It's time to return the favor. You do the pursuing for once. The chasing. The proposing. You want equal rights, and that's fine by me. Then pick up your end in the dating scene.
Hometown Hotties Final Round
This is the last week for voting for the final round of the Maxim Hometown Hotties competition, nd if you've followed this far, maybe you'll follow just a little further.
Finalist #1: Martina
Positives: likes Football, was a nanny, 34C, only 2 piecings, prefers to be naked over lingerie, size doesn't matter, prefers to go to a sports game on first date,a nd looks for eyes and butt in a man, 2 things I have. GORGEOUS SMILE.
Negatives: likes Britney Spears, Julia Roberts, 2 tattoos, lives too far from the Daily Update Writer
Martina has a latin background, based off of her appeareance, which will take her quite far. At this point,she's the favorite, and she's the first one off the list.
Finalist #2: Eriana
Positives: Likes baseball, worked at Hooters, 32D, 0 tattoos, never wears underwear, would date a man who wears tighty-whiteys, size doesn't matter, has previously skinny dipped, implying that it is a possibility in the future.
Negatives: 4 piercings (but apparently all in the ears, so it's not all that bad), has been in a fist fight (maybe that should be a good thing), likes handsome men who are well groomed and have a great job. (Strike, 1,2, and 3. ) Didn't smile in a single picture.
Very beautiful girl from Fl who is eliminated for not showing us her pretty smile.
Finalist #3: Stacie
Positives: Sports talk radio host and Hooters girl as a profession!, likes basketball, favorite actor/actress is Jenna Jameson, 34C, no tattoos, wants to go to a sports game for a first date.
Now appearing on a TV surprisingly close to you....
Negatives: The sports show is the Tony Bruno show, she's married,likes the San Antonio Spurs, has 7 piercings, Size matters
Blonde girl who has many wonderful qualities, but....too many negatives to win it outright
Finalist #4: Brittany
Positives: blonde haired girl, single, owns her own home, 34D, only has her ears pierced, 0 tattoos, never wears underwear (despite what the picture shows, apparently, likes to wear a teddy, never been in a fistfight, likes to try new things.
Negatives: pit bull puppy named Maximus....yikes, size matters though she won't admit it, list of her ideal man is longer than....well it's long and let's leave it at that.
Amazing girl who is probably going to give Martina a good run for her money. Very sultry.
Finalist #5: Naomi
Positives: cute college girl type look, single, likes baseball likes comedy movies, doesn't like country, works at a place called Hot Cats, and anyplace you can get a hot grilled cat sandwich, why that is the place for me! Mmmm, smoked tabby! born in Seoul Korea, 32C, 0 tattoos, prefers top be naked than wear lingerie, never been in a fistfight, has had public sex.
Negatives: Likes the San Fransisco Giants, has 6 piercings, including nose, belly, and labret. Size matters, but she won't tell you....(it's still lying if you don't say anything, despite what you might say)
She has a "cute" look to her, and I could see dating her for a few months, but sooner or later I'd screw it up, she'd get bitchy, and that'd end that relationship. I'd spend 2 months wishing I'd never met her,and then finally come around that I can date other girls. But for the small time we were dating, I gotta think that she'd keep things interesting.
Finalist #6: Amber
Positives: Reminds me of pre-slutty Mariah Carey. Yes, that is a good thing. single, likes football, borna nd went to high school in Tacoma, WA. 34B, only has her ears peirced, and 0 tattoos, never been in a fistfight, goes to sports games on a first date, self proclaimed "easily entertained"
Negatives: Likes the Seahawks and the movie Labyrith.
She reminds me of the babe.
What babe?
The babe with the power.
What power?
Voo doo.
Who do?
She do.
Do what?
Remind me of the babe.
Fan of Jessica Simpson's music. Jessica Simpson, I can understand, but her music....I dunno.
Musically, she is to be seen and not heard.
but back to the negatives:
size matters.
Finalist #7: Ursula
Positives: Another person with Seoul (Korea) in her heart, 32B, only 2 piercings in her ears, prefers to be naked, looks at the whole package when first checking out the guy
Negatives: pretty girl who has horrible streaked hair, likes Quentin Tarantino, tattoo, size matters (rather hypocritical of me when I list their bust size as a positive, huh?), not a single smile in a photo
Let's be honest, she's not going to win the competition.
Finalist #8: Crystal
Positives: posed nude, pretty smile, brunette, 34B, never been in a fistfight, adventurous
Negatives: Ohio State BUckeye fan, likes Britney spears, piecings and tattoos, won't admit that she likes 'size" in her men, a list a mile long for her ideal man....
Crystal is a very pretty girl, but she cna't compete here with Brittany and Martina.
Finalist #9: Ella
Positives: very big and pretty smile. likes football, and Minnesota guy Josh Hartnett. Also likes Sheryl Crow's "First cut is the deepest", 34C, never wears underwear, never been in a fistfight, check out the piture of her with the football...
Negatives: Likes country music, a belly piercing, tattoos, has "size" concerns that she'd never mention to you, it's going to take forever for you to get her drunk and convince her that you canuse your rather small equipment on her.
She used to look older to me, for some reason. But now that I look at her....wow. it's really too bad she's unable to break past martina and Brittany.
Finalist #10: Heidi
Ahhh, Heidi. I'd almost forgotten.
Positives-Has both T AND A. Prides herself on not being fake. Whatever that means. She's hot, dude. 34C. prefers to be naked
Negatives: Lynyrd Skynyrd. Nuff Said. Favorite sport is RUNNING?! Extra piercing and tattoo. Has been in a fistfight, needs SIZE to be happy, looks at a guys ring finger (this is bad for me, but a good thing in general)
(Oh, I'm kidding!!)
Again, it will take you a majority of your paycheck to get her under the table, or under the sheets, for that matter.
This brings us back to Martina and Brittany.
After much consideration, we've decided to go with Martina, ofr her gorgeous ethnic looks. It should be noted however, that she nevr would ahve won, had Sonia or Lidia had been allowed to progress to the final round, or even my own Lydia had entered the competition. That said, Martina is very much deserving, and I hoe you all agree with me. If not, well, that is why you can vote for your own damn girl based on your own sick and twisted criteria.
Tomorrow: NFL picks. And maybe a return to the old update style, for a moment or two...
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Expos headed to Washington DC
The Montreal Expos are going to play in Washington D.C. next year, if Major League Baseball has their way. NOw, this move was promised to be announced last year. And this year at the All-Star Break. And by the end of August, at the latest. Here it is, October, and they finally are able to say that they're sending the team to Washington D.C.
Well, yippee for them. They had to shoehorn the team in there, since it falls within 100 miles of another team, the Baltimore Orioles. teh owner of the Orioles, Peter Angelos, promised to make such a fit over the affect of losing his fan base, that baseball people promised to compensate him for any lost revenue.
So lemme get this straight: he is garaunteed revenue. Think about that for a moment. What incentive do they have to try to succeed if they are garaunteed revenue? And what sort of precedent does it set for teams who might move in the future? What if a team moves to Portland OR, and the Mariners claim foul, saying that it's their market? Does Major League Baseball pony up cash for them too? Stupid.
Thoughts on gender roles and dating
Tomorrow. And by tomorrow, I mean maybe tomorrow,maybe the day after. we'll see how busy it is.
The Montreal Expos are going to play in Washington D.C. next year, if Major League Baseball has their way. NOw, this move was promised to be announced last year. And this year at the All-Star Break. And by the end of August, at the latest. Here it is, October, and they finally are able to say that they're sending the team to Washington D.C.
Well, yippee for them. They had to shoehorn the team in there, since it falls within 100 miles of another team, the Baltimore Orioles. teh owner of the Orioles, Peter Angelos, promised to make such a fit over the affect of losing his fan base, that baseball people promised to compensate him for any lost revenue.
So lemme get this straight: he is garaunteed revenue. Think about that for a moment. What incentive do they have to try to succeed if they are garaunteed revenue? And what sort of precedent does it set for teams who might move in the future? What if a team moves to Portland OR, and the Mariners claim foul, saying that it's their market? Does Major League Baseball pony up cash for them too? Stupid.
Thoughts on gender roles and dating
Tomorrow. And by tomorrow, I mean maybe tomorrow,maybe the day after. we'll see how busy it is.
Monday, October 04, 2004
