The Daily Update

Song of the Day:

Stretched out in the night
What do I feel?
I feel so good it just can't be real
And you know she's got... a dirty little mind
Well she makes me smile, yeah she makes me glad
She's B! A! D!
Yeah man she's bad
And you know she's got... a dirty little mind

Bonus Song of the Day:
I see the sun shining
Down on me
I feel the heat of love's flame
Down on me
I love the thought of you comin'
Down on me
And I'm so wet from love raining
Down on me

Songs performed by Jackyl. Song selection inspiried by...never you mind.

Today in History:

In 1789, George Washington took office as the first President of the United States. the location? New York City. ("NEW YORK CITY?! Get a rope." ) Apparently there was much discussion as to where the capital of our new country should be. Some said New York, some said Philadelphia, Boston.....Walla Walla....(no, not really). Eventually they settled on Washington DC.

In 1803, France surrendurred (surprise,surprise) the Louisiana Territory for $15 million dollars, thus garaunteeing drunk college girls a place to collect cheap bead necklaces in excahnge for a look at what's hiding under their shirts. We could also mention the rampant incest and beastiality,but we here at the Daily Update would prefer to accentuate the positive. eliminate the negative. And I forget how the rest of the song goes.

IN 1900, Casey Jones died at the controls of a runaway train, valiantly trying to save the passengers of the ill-fated choo-choo. It was reported that when he died, his hands were wrapped around the whistle cord and the brake lever. Casey was put to rest here.

In 1945, Adolf Hitler took a cowards way out, by committing suicide. As the Russian troops were advancing on his position, he handed out cyanide pills to those in the secured bunker with him (including the dogs), and then once he was sure they had taken the pills, did himself in with a pistol. Newlywed Eva Braun was found with him by the Russian troops, ther bodies collected and then covered in gasoline and set afire. Unfortunately, they were already dead. And thus, 2 of the greatest scourges of the World History began their stay in eternal damnation. it's great that they're dead, but it feels like a completely missed oppurtunity that they weren't convicted of their crimes, and executed by whatever means necessary. If there was ever a scenario where you could throw out the cruel and unusual punishment part, this was it. Why today isn't a world holiday, I'll never know.

Today also marks the 71st birthday for the richest hobo in the world, Willie Nelson. "On the road again...just can't wait to get on the road again...going to places that I may never see again...I just can't wait to get on the road again." That's all I ahve on him. Sorry.

Also amongst the celebrity birthdays is Kirsten Dunst. Kirsten was first notably seen in "Interview with a Vampire" as the young Claudia, a child turned vampire.



But her main break came in the form of Mary Jane Watson, in "Spiderman". To be fair, she had also starred in "Bring it On", a tale of the rise to acsension within a cheerleading team,and the moral and ethical decisions that must be made entering battle against a warring nation of other cheerleading teams. All of this leads to the biggest tease of soft core porn, pandering to 40ish year old men (some of whom may or may not be French) who are no longer allowed on high school grounds because of their leering ways.



Shakespeare Quote of the day:

"Not Mars his sword nor war's quick fire shall burn the living record of your memory"
Sonnet 55

Word of the Day:

grandiloquent \gran-DIL-uh-kwuhnt\, adjective:
Lofty in style; pompous; bombastic.

News of the week:

The World War II Memorial has been dedicated in Washington DC, and it's about time. It's only been a good 60+ years since the danged thing started. Then again, it ended in about 1946, and the society of 1940's and 50's weren't about to pat themselves on the back for all of the sacrifices that they made throughout the war. MOst of them had gotten their fill of war, and only wished to have home and a wife to keep it warm, and a front lawn to water and mow alternately....maybe a couple of kids to leave toys all about the front plot and about the driveway. the war was a different life; one they wanted to remove themselves from as much as possible. Those kids that they had came of age in the Vietnam era. Seeing a war they didn't understand, some rebelled, and some went to fight. Both groups ended up scarred.

Was it the precociousness of being a teenager/young adult, or was it a groundswell movement of society that caused the rebillion? A combination of both? Was it the feeling of betrayal in the nation's leaders, seeing as how the young were dying for the commitments of the older generation? Maybe it was all of it. But with that much feeling of bitteness and distrust, any sort of memorial was not quick to come from the Baby Boom generation.

It seems as though it's become an afterthought, a symbol of thanks that has been conspicuous in it's absence. There has been the Iwo Jima statue, and the Pearl Harbor memorial giving note to specific elements of World War II, but nothing to all of the armed forces for their concerted effort, vigilance, and sacrifice throughout the war. This memorial is grand, elegant, and fitting of a Washington DC memorial.

Of course, the best memorial is the millions of Americans who are alive and well, pursuing their life's dreams without concern for their safety. People of all religions are free to pursue their own spiritual path without fear of reprisal or vendetta.

Thanks be to them.

Entertainment News:

It was announced that Billionaire Donald Trump has deceded to get married for a 3rd time, this time to Melania Knauss. Who is she, you might ask? Well, she's a 33 year old model. Which of course, then prompts the question of hwat she looks like.

Well then, in the interest of providing you the information you need to know.....






Now, it's easy to see why Mr. Trump would want to spend time with her. The toupe' scratching part ofit is why in the heck he would set himself up for yet another alimony payment like that. For as successful of a businessman as he is, you'd think he would have learned from the first 2 marriages. Then again, who wants to place a bet as to wether or not there is a pre-nuptual contract on this one?

Good for them, I suppose. But Melania had better be careful of falling plaster, lest she suffer the same fate as Amarosa.

Word has it that JOhn Malkovich was recently signed on to appear in the Harry Potter films. He's been signed on to play the ultimate bad guy in the series, Voldemort. Now, I know very little about the character, but if it's a bad guy character, I KNOW they got the right guy. In fact, I wonder a little if Malkovich might be a bit more intense of an actor than they might have had in mind. It's hard to shake the image of the maniacal psychopath he played in "In the Line of Fire".

All I am saying is that I can't wait to see it, if only for him, and I hope they don't hold him back from making the character as evil as possible.



Plans for the weekend:

"Neighborhood Nannie" has an older sister that will be getting married this week-end. Because of the nature of our friendship with their entire family (being surrogate families and all), we have been invited to attend. Not only attend, but participate. Anna will be a flower girl (given her talents to create a mess in the living room with toys strewn about, it is the ideal task for her), Restory a Flower girl Escort (to make sure that Anna makes it all the way to the end of the isle), and Bailey will be the crying baby in the back of the church who drowns out the bride and groom as they exchange vows. The wife will be there to assist the Mother of the Bride in all of her duties, and will in all likelyhood be drafted into service to serve food. I will be there to eat the food, and ogle the bridesmaids. I'm just glad that we all have duties that so perfectly fit our personalities, allowing us to contribute to such a happy occasion using our own respective abilities.

As it is, we've been relegated to boil 140 lbs. of chicken, which will then be shredded for chicken tacos. Following the dinner and reception, we will be asked to remain for clean-up duty at the church, while the bride has brazenly declared that she will be off to consumate the marriage. I would offer my expertise in that area as well, but decorum forbids.

The wedding will bring togeather a young woman of caucasian descent, born here in America, and a young man who was born in Mexico. It will be interesting to watch as they combine their backgrounds and meld it into one home and one marriage. Best of luck to them. Best of luck to all of us.


Closing Picture of the Week:


Alyssa Milano. Have at it.

Song of the Day:
When I fall in love it will be forever
Or I’ll never fall in love
In a restless world like this is
Love is ended before it’s begun
And too many moonlight kisses
Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun

When I give my heart it will be completely
Or I’ll never give my heart
And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too
Is when I fall in love with you.


This Day in History:
In 1521, Portugal's pride and joy, Ferdinand Magellan was killed by natives in the Phillipines, presumably for having a sissy name like Ferdinand. (No, not really.) Magellan was a good 3/4 of the way through his goal to sail all the way around the world. After his death, his crew forged on and completed his journey for him. Then again, it's not like they had much choice. It was shorter to continue on, rather than go back the way they came. And where else were they going to go, anyway? They wanted to go HOME.



IN 1805, The United States Marines captured Derna, on the shores of Tripoli. After battling the Barbary Pirates that held the city, they raised a flag inscribed with the phrase "To the shores of tripoli". Later, The Marines would capture and occupy Mexico city, AKA "The Halls of Montezuma". An unknown Marine in Mexico composed the Marines hymn at that point, and transposed the two events, even though the capture of Tripoli occured first. Poetic license, we'll call it.

From the halls of Montezuma
To the shores of Tripoli,

We fight our country's battles
In the air, on land, and sea.

First to fight for right and freedom,
And to keep our honor clean,

We are proud to claim the title
Of United States Marines.

Our flag's unfurl'd to every breeze
From dawn to setting sun;

We have fought in every clime and place
Where we could take a gun.

In the snow of far-off northern lands
And in sunny tropic scenes,

You will find us always on the job -
The United States Marines.

Here's health to you and to our Corps
Which we are proud to serve;

In many a strife we've fought for life
And never lost our nerve.

If the Army and the Navy
Ever gaze on Heaven's scenes,

They will find the streets are guarded
By United States Marines.



In 1865, the steamer Sultana was carrying 1400+ United States Union prisoners of war down the Mississippi River, when it exploded and killed them and 400 other passengers.



In 1937, the first Social Security checks were distributed. The following day, hundreds of people more than likely called to complain that they hadn't gotten theirs yet, or that it wasn't enough, or that they just came over on the boat, and how do they sign up for some of that free money? (I'm kidding, I'm kidding. )

Word of hte Day:

supine \soo-PYN; SOO-pyn\, adjective:
1. Lying on the back, or with the face upward.
2. Indolent; listless; inactive; mentally or morally lethargic.


Shakespeare Quote of the Day:
"When to the sessions of sweet silent thought I summon up remembrance of things past, I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought"
Sonnet 30

Sports:

Whoooo, lots to talk about regarding the NFL draft.

First off, I'm going to cover the Bears draft, since I am indeed, a Bears fan. The drafting of Tommie Harris was perfect, as he is the prototype DT for the defensive scheme that Lovie Smith is looking to install with the Bears. I'm a little concerned, since there are reports taht he quits on some plays, but maybe with the right motivation that will change. In fact, there are reports out of Minicamp that Coach Smith has them running ragged to improve that aspect of the team.

In teh second roudn they took another DT, which puzzled me a bit. It's really rare to see a team draft for the same position two picks in a row, but after the great draft they had in 2003 they have earned some leeway, and I will respect their judgement in that area. They're saying he was the highest player they had, and a guy they targeted, so it sounds like he might work well. Still, I am guessing he is the most likely to boom or bust. In the 3rd round, they drafted a WR by the name of Barrian, who from what the reports say, sounds as though he's a tall speedy reciever (pluses in this offense) but has only average hands (minuses). He also isn't the worlds best downfield blocker. He can make all of the tough catches, but struggles on the easy ones.

Uh huh.

And here I thought the days of Dez White were over.

Whatever. I'll give him a chance, and it may actually work out in the long run. The thing our WR's were missing was big time speed, and this guy has it.

In the 4th round we took a corner from Texas by the name of Vasher, and the word on him is that he is a playmaker. That will be fine as long as he is a playmaker for the Bears. If he's being turned to toast on every route Moss or Rogers or Roy Williams run against him, he won't be much help. But I am interested in seeing what he can do as a nickle back,and if brought along slowly, who knows?

Also in the 4th round, they picked up an OLB from Maryland, Leon Joe. Don't know a single thing about him. NEXT!

In round 5 they took Claude Harriott, a pass rushing guy from PItt, who is all speed and lots of power, but the power doesn't really show up on the field. I'm all for pass-rushers, and he was most likely the best available at that point, but I'm not sure that he solves our pass rushing needs. still, let's see what they can do with him.

The bad news for some of our Michigan readers is that not only did Chicago NOT take a Michigan player, but they took an Anti-Michigan player, QB Craig Krenzel of Ohio State. I just want the record to note that I was not consulted before this pick was made.

That said, he's said to be an extremely bright guy, even if he doesn't ahve the best of arm strength. He's pretty accurate however,and now I'm picking up images of Shane Matthews all over again. Well, Shane wasn't bad as far as backup Qb's go, so maybe it won't be as bad as all that.

Rounding out our draft, we took a corner from Miami. Well, that's great, but noone really expect him to do anything. I know nothing abou him, and we're probably better off for that.

So going into the draft, we had some major needs at DT, and those were well addressed, along with some speed at LB. Mostly, we needed playmakers, and I think they did a fairly good job of rooting 3-4 out. More importantly, they were abel to get people that fit their system, focusing on speed. WE still need an outside pass rusher, but for now, I think that will have to wait.

On offense, we've added numerous Qb's but none with alot of starting experience at eh NFL level, so Chicago will be involved in alot of rumors about veteran Qb's that become available. We've alread talked about the Kurt Warner rumors for example, and that may still be an option. I've also heard the Bears mentioned in conjunction with Kerry Collins. While I think there are better oppurtunitees out there for Collins, I wouldn't mind seeing Kerry in Chicago AS A BACK UP one bit. He's far beyond the days of his alcohol problem, and has grown into a very solid fringe Pro-Bowl player, given enough talent around him. He has a strong arm necessary for the longer passes our offense will call for,and has been through it all, so there isn't much that can shake him. Plus he has a better injury history than Kurt Warner.

However, I think there are other teams which will give him the chance to compete for a starting role, rather than be relegated as a back-up behind a virtual rookie like Rex Grossman. Arizona, San Fran, etc.

What is surprising is New York cutting him loose! They've already decided that Manning will be the starter from day 1, even though their OL isn't much better than it was last year. Add to the fact that he has the pressure of living up to the standard his brother and father have set as a Manning QB, plus the fact he's going to be a rookie, AND it's in the biggest (and one of the most unforgiving) city in the US, AND he'll be the #1 pick.....that's alot to put on a guy. Were it my team, I would sit him for at least part fo the first year, if not the whole year. This would aleviate some of that pressure, and allow him to gradually grow into the role, rather than getting pasted throughout the year. Keep in mind, he'll be playing in the NFC east, and the Cowboys, Redskins and Eagles will all be licking their chops at a chance to blitz the heck out of him.


Seeing how lots of my readers are Viking Fans, we'll look there too.

The Vikings continue to be one of the luckiest teams when it comes to the draft. Again, a top flight player fell to them, allowing them to fill a major need. before the draft starte, their biggest weakness was speed on defense, particuarly on the outside edge. Last yea, they sould constantly get beat on runs off-tackle, so to compensate for that, they'd spread out their front 7 along the line, only to have the other team run it straight up the middle, where they were weakened.

But thanks to this draft, that should stop for them. The first round draft pick was a pass rushing De from USC by the last name of Udeze. He's got plenty of speed, though not the fastest starter off the line. Still he's got enough speed and power to make NFC north fans nervous. This solidifies a line that had no real DE that scared anyone, unless they bumped Kevin Williams out there,and he was drafted to play DT. So now they have 2 solid DT's and a very promising DE.

IN the second they drafted a LB to play on the outside, and again they took a guy with plenty of speed. This will allow them to filter the outside run back inside to new MLB E.J. Henderson, who can hit like a ton, but isn't a true sideline to sideline chaser like A Ray Lewis or Urlacher. Translation: he isn't as fast as those guys. But with the other guys funnelling the RB to him, he'll be alot more active, and he's probably the best tackler amongst their LB's right now, so that should work fine.

In the 3rd round, they got another promising DE for th oppositeside in Ohio State De Darrion Scott, who has some speed to hiom as well, though he is better known for his run stopping abilities. Viking fans may be concerned a bit by starting 2 rookie defensive ends, but I think that the long term prognosis for that defensive line looks pretty good.

Another thing that looks pretty good is Maren, a member of the Minnesota VikingsCheerleading team. Maren's favorite memory as part of the Cheerleading team was "running out of the runnel" for the first time. Apparently, she had a Scooby Doo speech impediment attack.

(Hypocrite. N. 1. Someone who criticizes another for something, even though they are guilty of the same thing. Example: The writer of this page poking fun at someone else's typo's on another web page. )


In round 4, the vikings got tremendous value by getting Nat Dorsey from Georgia Tech, who will provide excellent depth at OT for now,and should eventually become a starter.

Beyond this point, anything the Vikings (or any other team) draft is a bonus,as no one really expects them to become major contributors. That being said, I think the Vikes wasted a pick in drafting another RB, when they already have Bennett, Williams, Onterrio Smith, and that Ned kid that they were so high on last week. But hey, whatever.

From there on out, it's just a bunch of bit players, a LB for more speed, a DB named Eiland that I thought was drafted by the Vikes before, but again...WHATEVER.

On the Packers side, they've added a couple of corners, in anticipation of purging Mike Mckenzie. They added a DT in the 3rd and the 6the round, but I don't know how much they will help them immediately, which is WHEN they need help on that line. I don't know if they have the time to wait for them to develop. And then they added a punter in the 3rd round.

A punter.

He better be one hell of a punter to be taken in the 3rd round.

I don't think you can really consider their draft done yet though, becuase 2 pieces of business have been left unfinished.

1. Trade for Couch, or aquire a QB to groom for the future.

2. Trade Mike Mckenzie to make room for the corners you added. It's inevitable at this point, and I am sure they are going to try to pry out a 1st round pick, but I don't think they'll be able to get more than a 2nd rounder. As a bears fan I say good riddance to him, because he used to just KILL us. Course, most of their corners did. I just hate the Packers oh so much.

And it's with that bias in mind that I say that until they resolve those 2 issues, I'd have to say that their draft was rather un-inspiring. But to each their own, I suppose.

Commercials:

1. I saw a commercial for Boston Market I think, which showed a WNBA player as a sponsor, shooting buckets, and saying that this or that salad was her lucky salad, until she finally decided upon "Almond garlic" or whatever.

It's a real sign to see how far women athletes have come to see them getting their own endorsements along the lines of Jordan or Magic Johnson, or Derek Jeter, et al. And what was so telling about it is that it didn't occur to me how much it stood out until the commercial had already past by. Slowly, ever so slowly, women are gaining an equal footing with men. They're not there yet, but they are making progress.

SO to stick with my hypocrtical ways, I'll follow that with commentary on another commercial, yet another Jessica Simpson-Lachey commercial for Pizza Hut. Turns out that Pizza Hut has come out with a buffalo chicken pizza, and I couldn't help but think that I would like to have a taste of that. Oops. Must have provided the wrong link there. Yeah....that's what happened. Riiiight.

Anyway, I know many people don't consider it pizza if it has chicken on it, buffalo or otherwise. However, there are much worse pizza toppings out there, and I happen to like it, SO BACK OFF!

Maybe this was the pizza that Billy Joel was running out to get, when he got into yet another car accident. More on that later. Or not.

So am I holding down the womens movement by making comments like that? You tell me. Personally, I don't really think I am, as I am expressing my own feelings for these women's beauty, and not subscribing to any sort of thought process that "they should be at home barefoot and pregnant, and making sure my buffalo chicken pizza is hot by the time I get home".

But when does admiring a woman's physical beauty (or many women for that matter) become objectification of women? I don't have the answer for this, and am not sure that it is within my reach to find answers on this. ButI'm open to a discussion on it if anyonw wants to provide feedback. (Please provide feedback!! I'm so lonely!)

Until then, on with the objectificaton!!! Mwah ha ha ha ha ha!!!

(OK, sorry. )

Hometown Hotties, Week 8

Here again, is the requisite link for those scoring at home, or even those that are alone. (I know I stole the line from Keith Olberman. It doesn't keep it from being a great line. )

This week's initial cutdown brought us down to 20. However, I don't necessarily know that this week was better than previous weeks bounty. We'll have to look at them again to make sure.

Row 1 holdsJamie of ND and Kara of Fl, and row 2 has Liz of MI, Becca of FL, and Katie of PA. Pleasure Kitten of ca isn't making the cut because she is calling herself Pleasure Kitten. That's just annoying. Sorry.

Row 3 has Jolie of IL, and we moved on to row 4 where we found Kristen of MO. Lauren of CA has a home in row 5, just a few blocks down from Melanie in KY. (That would be Kentucky, by the way. NOT, repeat, NOT KY. Now with extra warmth!)

Row 6 contains Sonia of AZ and Kimberly of TX, while Gogo of CA and Jen of CA can be found in Row 7. Why Gogo is allowed, and Pleasure Kitten isn't...well....GoGo is hot. Dont question it!

By now, you're all asking if Gina of Il made the list. Why yes she did! Along with Tiffany of LA, Kristen of FL, and Shirley of GA. Yes, I am serious. And you can call HER Shirley, but not me.

Row 10 finishes with a flourish, with Lana of NV, Salena of CA, and Victoria of CA.

This time we're going from bottom to top (shut up) just to shake things up a bit, not to mention give the girls at the top a better chance, since every time I pass one up, she invariably gets left off of the list.

Lana of NV starts us off, and she's very pretty,a nd seems to be in shape, even if it loosk as though she's a bit thick in the hips. That's not necesarily bad since I don't mind a bit of ....I don't know how to explain it, but I'm sure my readers get what I am trying to get at, and her last picture prompts certain reactions, but there are many hot women coming up. Sorry Lana.

I like Salena alot, because she has a nice smile, and she is also a fan of Charlize Theron. A woman who appreciate Charlize is a woman who is comfortable with her own sexuality, and is fine by me. However, her red hair is much too distracting for me. I'm not entirely sure, but her last picture, she might be cheaing. She is covering her bosom, but I think she may still be wearing a top. If you're going to do it, then do it. Don't pretend to go topless.

Victoria of CA is next, and while she doesn't smile, she's smoldering. And look! No Belly button jewelry! Victoria has a tentative hold on Spot #1, though I reserve the right to change my mind later.

Tiffany of LA is pretty, but all 3 shots are the same, with no variety of background. If that seems like a lame reason to get rid of her, well....it is. Suffice to say I don't find her as hot as I originally did.

Kristen of FL however, si well deserving of spot 2, as she is hot as hell, and doesn't drink either! As a woman who is a straight A student, and a member of many national honor societies, she has the gumption to succeed at whatever she sets forth. But seeing as how this competition is more about how she looks vs. who she is, she still gets in, thanks to some great pictures, and advanced use of cleavage.

Shirley loses a few demerits for some terrible highlights in her hair, but she has a Tara Reid type look about her, with a very small chin. We could go on, but it's enough to say she has spot 3.

Gina of IL reminds me of Kelly Lebrock in her "Weird Science" days. (Or a former girlfriend from Canada. You wouldn't know her. ) Her first picture comes across almost too muscular, but by picture 3, I ahd forgotten all about it. Gina is spot # 4.

Jen in CA scores many many parts for being couragous enough to pose nude, and I must say, it suits her well. Very pretty blue eyes, and beautiful in a uh....I don't want to say plain, because that's not right......she's beautiful in a simple way. Yeah, that says it right. But I can't say I can move her forward. Not yet.

Gogo of CA (as if there would be multiple "gogo"s....) does not however, as she lost points for the name, since it would be too tempting to make fun of. The 3rd picture makes me nervous as well.

Sonia of AZ, would you like two spots? Ah,I would if could. So much to comment on here, but look at he eyes on picture #1. I understand that it requires you to raise your line of sight about an inch or two, but look anyway. Those eyes are glowing. That is amazing. Spot #5 is taken. IN fact, we'll re-shuffle and move Sonia up to #1.

Kimberly of TX must play pool alot because she racks them up nicely. Also very open eyes, and a nice figure. However, there's something about her face.....I dunno. I jst don't think she's got enough to make the top 10, so away she goes. Adieu, adieu, parting is such sweet sorrow. Melanie of KY is also gone, despite posing on her knees in each photo. Why would that be a good thing? I dunno. Anyway, pretty girl, but a big tatoo on her lower back, and that is the end of that. Sibyl of NY didn't make the cut, but it's interesting to note that her profession is "Artist and full-time white collar slave?". Either she's kinky, or one of those eccentric thinkers. Either way, she's a Packer fan, and scares the crap out of me. First Job: "pro brat-sitter". uh.....not a kid person huh? She and I are of two very different worlds.

Lauren of CA has a pretty face, but she breaks too many rules to move on. Tatoo. Belly jewelry. Sorry.

Kirsten (not Kristen) of MO, could kick my ass, being in the Army for 5 years. However, there is something about her 1st and 3rd pics that kinda speak out. 1 you get to see her intimate side, and 3 brings out her elegant side, even if she's in blue jeans. I could be reading it all wrong, but I don't think I am. She will have to cross her fingers though, because I'd put Jen of CA in before her. So we'll see how the other girls work out first.

Jolie of IL is in, as she survives a scary picture # 2, since she reminds me of the 1 (and only 1) girl from Beverly Hills 90210 that was hot. Let me know if you know who I am talking about. Either that, or you've given up on this,a nd I'm typing this for no reason at all. Spot 6 is taken.

Liz of MI is in at spot #7. She's hot. very. 'Nuff said. (breasteses)

Becca is gone however, as the 1st picture is not flattering, and a lime green motorcycle makes no one look good. NO ONE. The tube top isn't helping either. So how did she make this list then? I was blinded by pic 2 for some reason. It's my only defense.

But don't feel badly for her, because Katie of Pa is going with her. Many nice curves for our girl Katie, but....something about her face is not sitting well.

But Kara of FL.....she's in. Waaaaaay in. Only 2 spots leff, but I'll need a moment to compose myself. Here's something for you to ponder in the meantime.



Ok, I'm back. Do you need a moment? No? Well, you're a better composed person than I.

Jamie of ND also gets in, and some of that has to do with the fact she comes from my hometown state, I admit. But she has some of her own qualities that have earned her the right to move on. So that is 9 picks, with the last spot coming down to Kirsten of MO, and Jen of CA. And as I said, Jen wins out.

SO that is our 10 for the week. Maybe by doing this earlier in the week, some of you might be prompted to contact me and share notes. Either way, we'll see you later this week.

Song of the Day:
Here I am baby
Oh, you've got the future in your hand
(signed, sealed delivered, I'm yours) Here I am baby,
oh, you've got the future in your hand
(signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours)
I've done alot of foolish things
that I really didn't mean
I could be a broken man but here I am

This Day in History:

Nothing happened this day in history that I feel like writing about. Sorry.

Shakespeare Quote of the Day:
"Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall". - (Act II, Scene I).-Measure for Measure

Former Arizona Cardinals defensive back Pat Tillman died yesterday. I'm sure that most of you already know this. I'm sure all of you also know that he made his decision shortly after September 11th, and turned down a multi-million dollar contract to continue playing football, so that he could join the Army, become a Ranger, and give soemthing back to America. He didn't do it to gain even further fame or noteriety, which made his decision all that more honorable.

Tillman has been able to fulfill his wish to serve his country, and what he has given for his country can never be fully accounted for. Nor can we ever fully appreciate the sacrifices that he made as a serviceman, and as a person of rare integrity and honor. Thank you, Mr. Tillman.



I would hope that the NFL will do the right thing and show some sort of video montage leading into the start of the draft, and maybe a small speech by the commisioner before any draft picks are made. Or at least a small moment of silence for Pat Tillman,nad all the other soldiers who have given their lives in the name of defending America.

NFL DRAFT

Today is going to handled like an old fashioned blog, with me posting many times as the draft goes on. At 2pm, I'm out of here though, so once that time comes and goes....you'll have to wait until Monday or Tuesday for anything new. And those who aren't much into sports....you may want to just skip today altogeather.

Mock Draft--

1. New York Giants, in a trade with Chargers: Eli Manning, QB
The Chargers simply HAVE to do this, because drafting Manning could turn out to be disasterous if they don't handle him right after the draft is over. And I have no faith in the Chargers to handle it correctly.

2. Raiders: Robert Gallery, OT. I'm sure the Raiders would love to move down, but I jsut can't see another team offering up enough to make it worth it for the Raiders. I'm sure that Al Daivs would love to take a WR and move down, but I think he'll be stuck in this spot,a nd will take Gallery. And if he does, it'll be his best non-move ever because I think that Gallery is not only the safest pick in the draft, but that he is the best player in the draft.

3. Cardinals- Larry Fitzgerald, WR. It's a given, unless the Raiders really do move downand some surprising team grabs Larry first. That won't happen. I'd make stronger consideration towards a QB, but Denny Green loves the 3 WR set so much, there's no way he turns down the chance to implement it with some serious WR talent.

Update!!
THe Chargers just took Eli Manning, even though he doesn't want to play there. They will have a hard time trading his rights, until maybe in the offseason, so maybe they think they can convince him to play in San Diego. I don't see that happening though. I see them having to hold onto him until AFTER the next season, and trading him for a #1 pick next year. The Chargers screwed this up terribly.

Meanwhile, the Raiders ahve taken Gallery, and he's a perfect fit for them, and everything I've heard about him makes me think he doesn't ahve a weakness. INCLUDING off the field, which is becoming a bigger and bigger aprt of the decision making process.

Since the Cards will take Fitzgerald, the Giants will get their Qb in Rothlesberger, and that will leave the Redskins with the biggest decision. Do they take Kellen Winslow at TE or Sean Taylor at safety? I just don't know. Maybe they'll get lucky, and the Giants will trade down, another team will jump in front of them, and take one of the players they are looking at, leaving them to take the other.

UPDATE AGAIN!

Ok, the Chargers redeemed themselves by trading Manning to the Giants for Rivers and some other stuff. So that has sorted itself out. Meanwhile, Sean Taylor is taken by the redskins to fortify a secondary that just lost Champ Bailey. Not bad at all.

Detroit is up, and they COULD go TE, but I'm gonna guess they trade down and grab a Rb later.

3rd UPDATE!!!

The Lions traded down 1 spot, got an etra 2nd roudn pick, and got Roy Williams. The Browns moved up one spot to geta fantastic tight end, who needs to grow up, and needs someone who can put him in his place. I on't see anyone on the Browns who can do that, so it amy be a terrell Owens situation in a few years, but in the meantime, he can dominate and it gives Cleveland a weapon on offense. Something they haven't really had since they were brought back in 1999. I think it was a bit spendy to move up one spot, though. We'll have to see how that works out.

The Lions offense is certainly going to be a pass first one. I'm not crazy about their running backs, but with 2 high 2nd roudners, they could EASILY find someone else, and get that taken care of, along with some other needs. Great move by the Lions.

The Falcons at spot 8 got a cornerback, and he has plenty of speed. Still, I'm not impressed with what they have on either the offensive or defensive lines, and I think they'll continue to get blown off the line until thay add some more talent there.

The Jags are up next, and they could start a run on Defensive linemen, which has me nervous. If Udeze, Smith Tommie Harris and Wilfork come off the board, I think Chicago willt rade down, and we'll be screwed out of some premier talent. That said, there's already rumors we're gonna move down anyway. Ugh. I love and hate this day at the same time.



Ah, what the heck. throw one in for my fans.

It wouldn't surprise me, with all the talk about the Steelers wanting a QB, if they were to also trade up to the 10 spot in order to get Rothlisberger. Then again, maybe it's too spendy to move up.

Oh wait, never mind. The Jags just took a WR in Reggie Williams. They needed one too, since their WR's were terrible last year. Leftwich has a target to throw to finally. That leaves only Houston, Jets or Buffalo to take linemen. We stand a good chance of getting one of the top guys yet.

UPDATE!

OK, Houston takes a corner, the Steelers take their Qb to replace Maddox (good move), and the Jets take Vilma, leaving Buffalo to take their pcik, and leaving CHicago to choose from at least 3 of the following 4.....Tommie Harris, Wilfork, Udeze, and Will Smith. Udeze and Smith would give them the pass rushers they want, and Tommie Smith is the DT type that they like. Wilfork is not the athletic DT Chicago has said they like. So I am guessing It'll be a De or Harris. It COULD be a WR, but the Dl needs so much attention and Chicago could get by at WR in the meantime.

And the Buffalo Bills take....?

A WR. A WR!!!!

Chicago can have their pick of the best DL in the draft! Holy Crap! I don't even know who I want out of all of them!! All I can do is sit back and wait to criticize. Please, please PLEASE don't trade down, and pass this oppurtunity up.

Song of the Day:

Well, I've been haunted in my sleep
You've been starring in my dreams
Lord I miss you
I've been waiting in the hall
Been waiting on your call
When the phone rings
It's just some friends of mine that say,
"Hey, what's the matter man?
We're gonna come around at twelve
With some Puerto Rican girls that are just dyin' to meet you.
We're gonna bring a case of wine
Hey, let's go mess and fool around
You know, like we used to"

THAT Day In History: (April 22nd)

In 1509, Henry the 7th was replaced with Henry the 8th. (I am I am.) He got married to the widow next door. He's been married 7 times before. MOst of his wives died because of infedility or giving birth to his children. One was just too ugly to consumate with. (Haven't we all been ther at one time or another?) (Note: sarcasm.) Second verse, same as the first.

in 1864, Congress put their belief on the line, and gave the thumbs up for our currency to carry the phrase "In God We Trust". While I don't agree with their stance, I get the arguement of the Athiests. However, you go back up tothe Puerto Rican girls and tell me there is no God. Or on a more serious note....experience the birth of your own offspring. There is most certainly a God. Wether or not your Daily UPdate writer is looked upon with favor, however....that's another topic entirely.

In 1889, the Oklahoma Land Rush started at noon. Thousands upon thousands of people rushed across the Kansas-Oklahoma border to stake out a claim. However, many had snuck across at night and were set to stake their claim well before the homesteaders came across the border. These people were called 'Sooners. Over 115 years later, Oklahoma men are forced to live with the stigma of being a "Sooner". As Lily Von Schtupp said, "Always coming and going,and going and coming, and always too soon!"



Considering the amount of land involved, it had to be one of the more chaotic moments in American history. I've got this mental image of some old prospector stretching and limbering up beforehand, beside a Kenyan with a marathon # emblazoned on his chest, next to Carl Lewis getting set in his blocks. ME? I get a pet lion. Let it loose right after the start of the race,a nd make a break for it while it mauls some of the competitors.

In 1952, the first nuclear explosion to be broadcast on live television took place in 1952. Since it was NOT 1970-something, it was not the result of the Happy Days episode where Fonzie jumps the shark tank.

In 1993, The U.s. Holocaust Memorial Museum was dedicated in Washington DC. Still, there isn't a memorial for the WWII vets, though one should be completed and dedicated this year. (Oh, come on. It can't be all pretty girls. You people need some culture anyway.)


THIS day in History (April 23rd):

In 1348, King Edward III of England established the Royal Order of the Garter. There are different theories as to how and why it was established. Some felt the King did it to restore the pagentry of the mythical days of King Arthur and his Knights of the round Table, while others say it was to continue a tradition started with the first King Edward during the crusades. See, King E the 1st apparently handed out garters to his knights as tokens of honor.Still others say that it was a subtle gesture to help his intentions to take the French crown.

The best story, however, is that the Fair Maid of Kent accidentally dropped her garter during a court function. The King picked it up and strapped it to his leg to help scover her embarrassment, saying "Shame to him who thinks ill of it."



IN 1564, it is believed that William Shakespeare was born. 52 years later to the day (you do the math), Willie died. In between, he wrote or stole or plagurized some of the most amazing stories and poetry ever concieved.

In 1969, Sirhan Sirhan was sentenced to death for the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy. It would later be reduced to life imprisonment. Meanwhile, he's the only assassinator that I know of that is not known by 3 names. (John Wilkes Booth, Mark David Chapman, etc...)

In 1985, Coca-cola made it's greatest blunder or it's greatest marketing strategy, by announcing that they were changing the recipe of Coca-Cola, and launching New Coke. Some think that Coke planned to cause a revolt in their customers, and re-launch the old Coca-Cola recipe under Coca Cola Classic all along. Others think that it was one of the biggest marketing gaffes in history. Me? I don't care, as long as I have my Coca-Cola Classic....the red, white,and you. Have a coke and a smile! And if they ever get rid of Vanilla coke, I'm giving up soda for lemonade, I swear. (Ok, it's an empty threat. It's all I have these days. )

Shakespeare Quote of the Day:
"Age cannot whither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety"
Ant & Cleo, Act ii, Sc.2


Word of the Day:

flibbertigibbet \FLIB-ur-tee-jib-it\, noun:
A silly, flighty, or scatterbrained person, especially a pert young woman with such qualities.

Take Your Daughter To Work Day:

The oldest has accompanied me to work today, though the major company I work for has her off doing some other projects, leaving me to work on this and that and the other. While I'm not completely gung-ho about the day itself, I like the ability to do something special with the girls, and show them what Dad does in a day. Maybe they'll have a better understanding of what I do, and why I drink 15 beers when I get home. (Ok, maybe not the beers.) She also went to the 2nd job with me,and my boss there was kind enough to give her a Torii Hunter Bobblehead doll. She seemed to have a good time, and I have to say I'm quite proud of how she handled herself in a business setting. Letsface it; it's an oppurtunity to parade my kid around and brag about her, and not many people can stop me.

Neener Neener.

Dru Sjodin

Dru was finally found, though it wasn't the happy reunion we had all hoped for. You had to expect it though. Dru hadn't been heard from since December, even after herkidnapper had been caught. You simply don't hear of people disappearing for that long without a trace and turning up alive. Even though you wish that wasn't the case. But at least they have her, and they KNOW. It would be worse to spend the rest of your life never knowing, like the Jacob Wetterling case. As painful as it is to deal with Dru's death, at least they KNOW that she's dead. Jacob's parents may be tortured for the rest of their life wondering what happened to him, and where he might be now.

Meanwhile, Dru's kidnapper is sitting in prison, and denies any knowledge of what happened to her. This, despite her blood and and in his back seat, and her body found outside the city where he lives, only 3 miles from his home.

I really don't know how I feel about he death penalty, but I do know how I feel about him. And about others like him that would look to do the same to my own wife or daughters. Dru's father has been very eloquent and civil thus far, worrying only about finding his daughter, regardless of whether or not she was alive. And put int he same situation (Heaven forbid), maybe I would be the same. But once my child was found, any grief or sorrow would be changed and forged into white hot anger. I would form my anger so that it was sleek and razor sharp, and deadly accurate. And I would do everything in my power to make sure he KNEW he made a mistake.

Sports

Feedback from yesterday's comments on Kurt Warner from a friend:

Topic 1: The Picture

Comment: It wouldn’t suck to be a thin piece of cloth right about now.

Editor's comment--- So noted and approved.

Topic 2: Kurt Warner

Comment: Are you High?


4 of these things belong together, one of these things does not belong…

Aikman

Young

Montana

Elway

Warner



Hmmm I see 4 hall of famers and a guy who had 2-3 good seasons in an offense that passed more than Shula’s Dolphins.

4 Hall of Famers…no doubt.

Warner? No way

Response: In no way did I say that Warner was a Hall of Fame QB. I said that at one time he WAS a great QB who put up some great #'s. Lumping him in with the other QB's was a slight mis-step, though both Steve Young and Troy Aikman tried to play through the chronic concussion thing, and should have retired long before they did. With Warner geting a few concussions, I'm worried abotu the same thing with him. He's a great Qb when he's healthy, but with his frequent hand injuries and concussions....it's the beginning of the end. And were I a Kurt Warner fan, I would worry that he's risking his health needlessly.

On the other hand, Chris Chandler is still playing football despite his many visits to the Trainer's table.

In other news, possible 1st overall pick Eli Manning sent word to the Chargers that he doens't want to play for them, so don't bother drafting me. Apparently, he and others in his council don't think that the Chargers have enough ability or talent around him to protect him or to allow him to succeed. And/Or, they don't trust the coaching (Marty Schottenheimer) to provide any or all of the above. I don't really berudge him or his council, as I have many of the same questions.

The weird part is that he is demanding a trade to the New York Giants. PLaying in New York as a Quarterback, especially one as the 1st overall pick...that's going to be one hell of a pressure cooker situation. Especially when you are talking about a league that includes an older brother who has been wildly successfull so far, setting the bar that eli has to measure up to pretty dang far up himself. Now if he can handle it, more power to him. But that is an awful lot to ask of a young kid. Almost setting him up to fail, really.

The Chargers, menawhile haven't made any promises one way or the other, and have said that they'll make the best decision for their football team. Good for them, until you realize they pretty much were planning to trade down in the draft anyway. Which makes Eli's trade demand or ultimatum or whatever kinda silly. THe really good twist to this would be if some other team traded up other than the giants, and drafted Eli. Like, Cleveland for example. I'm not saying it would happen...it'd just be funny. "Fine, you don't want to play for the chargers? That's Ok. But we're trading with cleveland, so I hope you like sucky cities. " (Note: the comments of the Daily Update Writer do not reflect the views of Daily Update Management,a nd Daily UPdate Management should not be held liable for the views shared herein.)

(See, that last part was funny, since the writer and the mgmt. are one and the same. )
(It sucks when I have to explain my jokes. )

(Oh, what do you care. You're just here for the porn anyway... It sure ain't for the typo's.)

In looking at the Bears draft, I'll have further comment on this on Saturday, as I will be able to post then. However, I do want to mention that if the Bears are to trade up, I think a likely trade partner would be the Jets. If one of the guys the Bears like are available once the Jets hit the clock, I could see us moving up past the Bills to make sure we get our choice of defensive linemen or whomever else is available that they may have their eye on. My preference would be for Brooke Burke, but that's just me.



Now starting at Tight End, Tight stomach, etc....Brooke Burke!

"Do you waaaaaaaaaaaaant .......to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy?"

SPeaking of which.....

NEWS IN LINGERIE!!!

OK, most of us have been there. You're in a Lingerie store,and you've foudn something that you are sure that your spouse will like. And if they don't you will, which is what matters most anyway. And while you get lost in the mist of a daydream, thinking deeply about how your temptress will look in this hot killer outfit, the salesperson plays the role of SUDDEN COLD SHOWER, by having the audacity to interrupt the visions of scantily clad playmates dancing in your head(s).

"May I help you find anything?"

No I think I've found it.

"Do you know what size she is?"

...
...
...

Crap.

And then you find yourself questioning...was it a size 4 or 6? Sure you could by thesize 4, and if you are wrong at least you flatter her. But you WANT to get this right. You don't want to have to delay any festivities becaue you screwed up. Getting desperate, you scan the store looking for anyone who might resemble her. And then you look upon your salesperson, and before you can keep the words from flying out of your mouth, you've already said, "Well, she's about your size."

And then you realize that in that once sentance, the salesperson knows you've checked her out, knows just what kind of slime you are, and is destined to apply the standard upcharge and rustproofing to any purchase you by.

Well friends, trashy.com has taken care of those problems for you. How so, you might ask? Well, they've created a website that allows you to shop by collection, by catalog, and BY MODEL. That's right, you can shop and porn search at the same time. Find a woman who you figure matches you own spouses body type best, and search away! (The Daily Update unofficially endorses the "Trashy Pleated Skirt Collection". Hours of indoor and outdoor fun for everyone!Must be 18 or older to ride these rides.

Not only that, but you're shopping online! If you tell the salesperson your wife is built like her...well noone can hear you but you! Aside from whatever mental problems that might be, you're in the clear! You can cast off your blushing shame!


Hometown Hotties Week 7 :

Whoa my, this is a very good week! But before I go too far, let's make sure we post the link, since I have been remiss about that the past couple of weeks. So, here it is.

In keeping with the trend, I only chose those that I thought had a chance at the top 10, since there were many that I could have chosen, but ultimately did not.

In row 1, we had Bethanie of PA and Melanie of OH. Row 2 included Michelle of FL and Kimberly of NJ. Row 3 has Cristal of TX, Desiree of NV, and Jana of MI. Row 4 has Oksana of VA (a Russian!!) and Stacie of AL. Tracey Lee of NY can be found in row 5, and Johanna of Fl and Kathy of IA are in row 7. Natalie of TX is the sole spokesperson for row 8. Shandy of TX represents row 9, and Bernadette of TX finishes it off in row 10.

In row 1, Melanie has already picked out a spot int he top 10 for herself. Her mix of exotic beauty, natural smile, and playful nature (as shown in picture #1) has won me over. Bethanie is an unknown. She's left haning at the moment.

Michelle of FL also possesses a bit of an exotic flair, a pretty body, and looks good on all fours, as picture # 3 shows. She earns a demerit or two for he belly bling-bling, but what girl doens't have it in this competition? I've come to the realization it's unavaoidable at this point. either way, Michelle of Fl gets spot #2.

Kimberly of NJ has bountiful...uh....bounty, and so much more. She herself is hot, but her pictures could have been even more hot, if given more funds. And yet I am hesitating, and I know not why. IF she ends up in a battle with Bethanie for the last spot, we may have a problem.

IN fact, as I look through the remaining girls...I am in sooo much trouble trying to pair these girls down.

Ok, newplan of attack? Who HAS to stay? Kathy of IA for one. The car washing picture alone...well, never mind. Stacy of AL also needs to stick around. Jana of MI isn't as drop dead gorgeous as some others, but her pictures were so much MORE "Je ne sais quais" over the other girls that she has to be there as well. So now we have 5 total.

And who can we cut? Bethanie is gorgeous, but the 2 schoolgirl pics just don't work for me. A pretty smile, and a good body, but terrible setting ruined it for me. Oksana is also hot, but others were hotter, and I beg forgiveness for setting her free. Tracy Lee is amazing, but her look is either too futuristic, or too Courtney LOve. Amazing upper body, however. Shandy has a killer 3rd picture, but she simply doesn't measure up to the others. That leaves 1 to cut. Much as I hate to, it's Bernadette of TX. I'd give you a reason if I had one.

In looking at the winners of last week, I got Elizabeth of TN for obvious reasons, as well as Brooke of FL. I missed Heather of MD, who was amongst the final group of girls I cut, but I did nail Jody of CA. Err, wait....that came out wrong. Lastly, I got Naomi of NV on my list,and she made it too. So not my best week, but a total of 4 right out of 100.


Tomorrow:

more of the sme, including a mock draft for the 1st round. Maybe with trades,a nd maybe not. We'll see. Have a good night everyone.

Song of the Day:

Me and my old lady sittin’ in the shade
Talkin’ about the money that I ain’t made
Singin’ o boy dontcha line the
Track a lack a
O boy dontcha line the track
O boy dontcha line the track a lack a
O boy dontcha line the track

This Day in History:

In 1918, Baron Manfred von Richthofen --possibly the greatest pilot ever and also known as the "Red Baron"-- was killed in action during World War II.

IN 1960, Brazil moved it's capital to Brasilia from Rio de Janeiro. Now, what signifigance you might find for that in your life, I don't know. What I DO know is that it gives me a flimsy excuse to find a Brazilian Born woman to show for your delight.



Topics of the day:

Don't have enough time for them all, so we'll have ot pick just one. I could talk about Dru Sjodin, or take Your daughter to Work Day, or any # of topics, but I had written something up regarding the Timberwolves from this past Sunday. I think I'll go with a Sports bit today:

By the time many of you read this, the Timberwolves will have played the Denver Nuggets in the 1st round of the 2004 playoffs. The wolves (being vastly superior in starters, bench, coaching, annoying mascots, cute girls in the stands and foam finger sales) are expected by many to win this series within 5 games. Such is the virtue of earning the #1 seed in the playoffs.

The Denver Nuggets themselves have a decent collection of talent, but in the end should be dismissed as the fringe playof team that they are. Therein lies the trap.

After seven consecutive years of making the playoffs only to be eliminated in the 1st round, the Wolves have placed themselves in the ideal scenario to advance to the 2nd round. However, BECAUSE they won the #1 seed throughout the playoffs, they have also raised the expectations of the club. It's not enough to simply move onto the 2nd round anymore. It's not enough to defeat a team in the first that you are clearly better than. Let's put it succinctly: Forthe wolves to progress on last year, they need to make the 3rd round of the playoffs, the conference finals. Anything less will be a failure.

Which is also why the Denver Nuggets must be disposed of, and quickly. They must win this series in no more than 5 games, and send a message to the other teams in the playoffs that they can be dominant against weaker teams, and imposing on like-talented squads. A Denver upset and series win should signal a complete teardown and rebuild of this team from the Team President on down. Advancing past this team should be childs play for this team.

Once past the Nuggets, The Wolves face the prospect of facing off against the Kings or the Mavericks. Either team will provide a much more suitable test as an opponent for the timberwolves. The Wolves need to prove that the can match up and beat a quality opponent, and either provide enough match up problems that it will be hard to get past them. But to prove that they belong amongst the elite,and have earned their place as the #1 seed, they need to not only match the other teams' intensity...they must prove to have more hunger, and ultimately beat them and advance. Simply beating the Nuggets is not enough to prove that they have evolved past their previous failings.

It's said that to be the best, you have to beat the best. Well, we'll find out soon enough. As long as they don't trip over a Nugget in the road.

Football

In case my good friend Sonny is checking in, I have to comment on the news that Kurt Warner is going to be cut on June 1st.

Kurt Warner WAS a great QB. WAS. Does he still have something left? Sure. So did Steve Young, and Troy Aikman, and Joe Montana and JOhn Elway. All of the greats had something left. BUt let's face it. He's an injury liability. He can't stay healthy,a nd an injured QB who's throwing picks left and right because he can barely stand up straight after a concussion isn't going to help any team.

I don't doubt that he'll end up with another team. I don't even doubt that he'll end up starting another game or two. (There's even rumors that he'd end up as a Bear, as unlikely as that is.) He's simply too far removed from his glory days and too fragile to trust him in anything more than a back-up Qb role. His physical abilities are far and above those of some other starting QB's in the league, but he's no good to any team when he's on a stretcher counting stars in the sky, or holes in a teflon roof.

Song of the Day:

When I refused
I knew you wouldn't understand
I told you twice
I was only trying to be nice
Only trying to be nice
Ooh, I didn't mean to turn you on
Babe now why should I
Feel guilty 'cause I won't give
Guilty 'cause I won't give in
I didn't mean to turn you on



This Day in History:

April 15-

IN 1865, Abraham Lincoln died, after being mortally shot by John Wilkes Booth. Lincoln was the first president to be assasinated in our country's history, and he was replaced by Andrew Johnson. Johnson himself was also to have been assasinated, along with Seward, who was the Secretary of state. Booth thought that if enough members in the line of succession for the Presidency, it would throw the Northern government into chaos, and the Southern Confederacy would prevail over time. In actuality, he did more harm than good, as Lincoln was probably the best hope for the Southern states to re-enter the union with any sort of magnaminity. For all the man did in holding the country togeather in the hours of our biggest strain, it would have been nice to see what he would have been able to do in times of peace.

In 1452, a scant 40 years from Columbus' discovery of the Lands in the west, Leonardo da Vinci was born. Leonardo's skill as an artisan in many was was and is still unmatched.




In fact, at the age of 15, he was apprenticing under another artist, and after seeing da Vinci's work, the master (Verrocchio) vowed to never paint again. Verroccio put out some pretty good work himself, as seen below.




April 16th

IN 1945, American troops reached Nuremberg, Germany. This would of course be the site on the Nuremberg Trials to place war criminals on trial for the atrocities commited against society. That wasn't worded all that well, but it'll have to do.

In 1972, Apollo 16 was launched ON THE 16th. The flight included Ken Mattingly, who was supposed to be on Apollo 13, but was scratched from that flight because of exosure to the German Measles. (A more EFFICENT Measles for the greater success fo the Fatherland!) Ken would also later fly as a Shuttle commander, as would John young, who was on Apollo 16 as well. There would be only one more Apollo mission following this one.

Today also marks the 57th birthday for Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. I think he's the greatest, but my dad says he doesn't workhard enough on defense. And he says that lots of times, he doesn't even run down court. And that he doesn't really try expect for during the playoffs. (Airplane! reference for those of you who aren't paying close enough attention.)

Word of the day:

SARCOPHAGUS

sar·coph·a·gus (n)
A stone coffin, often inscribed or decorated with sculpture.


Lack of Karmic Justice in the World
or
"Why do good things happen to bad people?"

I have to be careful with this, because it is in relation to some rather sensitive material. But it needs to be said. Our family recieved news recently that a monster who tormented my wife at a young age, along with her sisters, has been hired at a prestigous college found in Pennsylvania. Apparently background checks at PSU are a thing of the past, because being convicted of abusing your own offspring is something that's kinda hard to miss. Or maybe they're not concerned about the student body. And if said college wants to hide behind "Everyone makes mistakes,and deserves a second chance"....whatever. Releasing a predator/offender like that under the guise of professor is completely undefendable. Heck, even if he is a janitor there, it's still horrible.

Has he paid his debt to society? Well, he's done prison time. Which is not to say he doesn't have some atoning to do. His actions destroyed one life, crippled 2 others, and tarnished a few more. I never met him, but because of him, I have had to prove to my own wife that my children are safe in my presence. I cannot tell you how heartbreaking it is to see the doubt and fear in the eyes of your spouse when you tell them that you're going to give the kids a bath. I don't blame her for that; I blame him. I was made to pay for his actions, and for that, amongst many other reasons....I hate, despise and loathe him.

My wife shouldn't have to question my motives if I offer to take the kids out for ice cream, or if I buy them something special for no reason at all. For heaven's sake, I can't call them "princess" because of the damage he has caused. Am I bitter? Hell yes. But before you dismiss my rantings as biased frothing anger, understand that the actions of this sonofabitch have hampered the relationships I have with my own family. May God forbid any of you from having to do the same.

How he gets this sort of break while some of us toil to survive, I'll never know. And I'm not going to turn this into a pity party by complaining about my own lot in life. I'm just wondering how the na'er do wells are able to seemingly get through life carefree while the rest of us continue to struggle to make ends meet.

Life is what you make of it, I suppose. Naw, that's too flippant an answer. It just goes to show that I know nothing. That's right. Nothing. Those of you turning to the web page for answers have just been supremely disapointed.

Shakespeare Quote of the Day:

Some innocents 'scape not the thunderbolt"
Ant & Cleo, Act ii, Sc.5

Hometown Hotties, Week 6

Again, I don't know if it's my mood, or if it's just the quality of choices presented, but there seems to be many more to choose from this week. That said, the winner of the Hometown Hotties competition will NOT come from week 6. Some finalists maybe, but NOT the grand Prize Winner.

Trying to be as selective as possible, I still ended up with about 22 picks, and there were probably about 5-10 more that I could ahve selected prior to final cut-down.

We started out slow, with Elizabeth of Fl the only one in the first row, followed by Tiana of FL and Marina of CA in row 2. Then row 3 just about got out of hand, with Nicole of BROOKLYN PARK! in MN, Kris of VA, Tina of ME, Liz of OR, Refina of TX and Naomi of NV. Now, Nicole is very hot, but I have to be honest that being quite literally a Hottie from my own HOMETOWN helped her quite a bit. IS it enough to get to the final 10? It'll be hard not to be biased, but we'll see what happens.

Row 4 has Jennifer of MA, Erin of MD, Celeste of Irvine CA, and Diana of FL. Row 5 is owned solely by Trish of AZ, though there are many others here who could have been there as well. Row 6 includes Elizabeth of Tn, and Sarah-Elizabeth of Fl. Row 7 has Anica of CA, Ashley of MD, Brooke of Fl, and Lisa of CA. Row 8 is highlighted by Yvette of Fl, Heather of MD, and Jody of CA. Row 9 brings an end to our selections with Celeste of Ventura CA.

Among the first cut is Tiana of FL and Elizabeth of FL. Elizabeth's lips are a bit too full, implying a botox treatment. It's none too flattering. Tiana? I don't know what I saw the first time. She's pretty, but I think I was just "excited" when I made my first list. Happy trails, ladies.

Now Marina.....well she starts out hot,a nd then cools off, but that first one is good enough to carry her through for now. We'll come back to her.

Refina of TX nails down the first spot, and it's of specal note, because she is a redhead. Again, normally not my thing, but she's got a nice smile. And she's the only one of my selections in row 3 who doesn't have some sort of belly jewelry.

Cut however, is Liz of OR. She's very pretty, but just doesn't have ENOUGH up top to hold my interest.

Erin of MD gets spot #2, mainly because of pic #3. I'm a swucker for garter belts. Gone, however is Jennifer, Celeste of Irvine Ca and Diana, as they all took hot pics, but I am not convinced that they'd be hot in just a pair of sweats. trish of AZ...what caught my interest before? I ahve no idea. Cut!

Elizabeth of TN had her first job at Hooters. Yes, I can see that. Spot # 3 is reserved for her, though dich the swimsuit in pic 3. Sarah Elizabeth, it was nice of you to stick around, but I'm afraid we're going to have to send you home with a copy of our at-home game.

Anica of CA is staying. I don't know what nationality she derives from, but that's a nation I want to visit.

Ashley of MD needs to learn how to smile. Or how to close her mouth when not talking. And for the love of GOD, if you want to look sexy, don't have a toilet in your shot. It was very ahrd to ignore, but I am moving her on to the next round to see how she might look in a better setting.

NOW BROOKE OF FL!!! THAT is how you take good pictures. Spot #6. And Liza of Ca shows us jst how good it can be to be a grain of sand on a beach someplace.

Only 3 spots left. Until Yvette came along. She's making it very hard....to choose the last two. Have no fear, Yvette is here to stay.

Heather of MD is very pretty, but none of her pictures stand out. Sorry, Heather. Jody of CA on the other hand....wait; that hand is busy. never mind. Either way, Jody has the #9 spot. Long legs, pretty eyes, and presence of garters. Check, check and check (and double check).

This leaves Celeste of Ventura CA. Her first 2 pics are nothing out fo the ordinary,but that 3rd picture....I'm having a CCR moment here, because I see the bad moon a' risin! I see trouble on the way. Her bad moon is enough to eliminate Marina and Tina. But it couldn't stand up to the cute-ness provided by Naomi of NV. And in doing so, Naomi ("I moan" when spelled backwards) eliminates Kris of VA and Nicole of MN.

Now it should be mentioned that Rachel of TN could have made the cut, if only she had fewer tattoos, and much smaller ones, at that. However, she has to be who she is, so we'll leave her alone.

Misc.
Into each life a little rain must fall. But for now,Sunny days are here again. It's interesting to see how after the snow falls, everyone comes out of their homes and re-aquaints themselves with their neighbors. Our new neighbors to the north are of Spanish decent, and speak little english. So sometimes it's a challenge to carry on a conversation. However, our children play well togeather, as they have one in 2nd grade, and another that just turned 2. the 2 year old doens't speak a lick of english, but thanks to Dora Dora Dora the Explorer!, Anna knows a little of Espanol. This will be an interesting experiment, to see what sort of shorthand they use in order to communicate with each other. I'll keep you upated. In the meantime, we'll see you next week.

Song of the Day:

I'm sick of love; I wish I'd never met you
I'm sick of love; I'm trying to forget you

Just don't know what to do
I'd give anything to
Be with you

This Day in History:

In 1759, composer George Handel died. He was in London when it happened. Why this is important, I have no idea. Now, if you remember from yesterday, he composed "Messiah", which was provided as a link. You DID check out the link, correct? I would hate to think that I gave you a link providing ACTUAL CULTURE connected to it, and it went unused. If not, go check it out now, and then come back to read the rest. It's ok. The rest of us will wait here until you're done.

....

....

....

done?

Ok.

IN 1775, Benjamin Franklin and Geoffery Rush--no wait, it was Benjamin Rush, not Geoffory-- formed the first American society seeking the abolishment of slavery. I wish that I had more to say about this, but I just don't feel comfortable making light about slavery one way or the other.

IN 1904, Sir John Gielgud was born. He was only known as John Gielgud then, since it's kinda hard to knight someone in eutero. I remember himbest as the Butler from Arthur, but others might better remember him from Chariots of Fire, or Caligula, or The Elephant Man.

My questions is that if he and others are truly knighted, are they required to take up arms to defend the Queen during an attack? And if so, is the Queen REALLY going to feel safe having a now dead actor, aging singers Elton John and Mick Jagger, and whomever else she has bestowed the honor? Maybe if she used them as human shields, but I greatly suspect Mr. elton John's abiliy with an axe or broadsword. (Or for you Dungeons and Dragons fanatics, a Broadsword plus 2!)

In 1912, The RMS Titanic struck an iceberg, and then slowly began it's transformation into a submarine, and then the worlds best Hotel for mermaids. UNfortunately, it didn't allow the passengers to dis-embark first, taking over a 1,000 lives with it. I'm not providing a link, since you hould know this story already,a nd if you don't, then you weren't alive in 1997. And if you weren't alive in 1997, than you are 5 years old and this is above you, or you are some sort of Zombie arisen from the dead. Well, I for one welcome our new Zombie overlords, and hope for a bloodless coup.

IN 1939, John Steinbeck's "The Grapes of Wrath" was first published. Never read the book, personally, though I ahve heard good things. Specifically that it was banned in certain areas. And if it's banned, it's gotta be good.
Now I am not certain for sure, but I think in 1978 the sequel to this book was made into a movie..."Attack of the Killer Tomatoes". WHat grapes have to be angry about I'll never know. Killer tomatoes, I get though. I mean, they're a fruit, but everyone considers them a vegatable. For plant life, that has to equate out to some sort of gender confusion. Deal with that all of your life, and there is BOUND to be some hard feelings about it.

Word of the Day:

ARROGANT

ar·ro·gant
adj.
Having or displaying a sense of overbearing self-worth or self-importance.
Marked by or arising from a feeling or assumption of one's superiority toward others: an arrogant contempt for the weak.


Topics of the Day:

Quentin Tarantino

I saw him on Jay Leno a few nights ago. Suffice to say he and I come from completely different worlds. He of the "get drunk all night-and-wake-up-the-next-morning-and-have-noone-to-answer-to-but-yourself-while-using-"fuck"-as-a-noun,verb,adverb,adjective-and-preposition-all-in-the-same-sentance-because-noone-is-around-to-tell-you-differently" life, and me in the "need-to-watch-what-I-do-and-say-since-I-am-a-parent-and-a-role-model-for-the-kids-around-me" world.

THat's alot to digest, so I'll give you a moment or two.

Anyway, he seemed totally self-indulgent and wrapped up in how interesting his life was, even though from my point of view, it seemed incredibly shallow. Taking pride in being on national TV while you are drunk isn't what I would consider a good career move, but then I don't live his life,and he doesn't live mine. It's nice to know, however, that I don't appear to be missing much. He's edgy and intense,and I get the feeling that he'd run up and grab you by the shoulders and scream until he got your attention.

In fairness, I don't elieve he's married. And since he isn't married, he doesn't ahve anyone to worry about BUT himself. So it's easy for him to give the impression that he's shallow and self-absorbed. He's the only interesting thing he's got going. So natrually he's going to talk about himself. That doesn't mean I can't find him annoying,and it doesn't mean he can't find my life dull, repetitive and lifeless (compared to his, anyway).

He'd be way way way way way off the mark, but he'd be entitled to his opinion.

Movie Quote of the Day:

The Joker: It can be truly said, that I have a bat in my belfry.
[laughs]
The Joker: Shall we dance?



I got a call yesterday at work. Turns out that the wife discovered that we had a bat attached to the wooden entranceway to our front patio. From what she could tell, he was sleeping. So I was instructed to be very careful upon my arrival at home, so that I didn't startle the beast.

Upon returning home, I inspected it as best I could from a safe distance. A fuzzy brown body with it's black wings tucked closely next to it. Figuring that itwas resting in the daylight, I let it alone, and figured that it would fly away during the night. We even named it Bruce Wayne.

(pause for effect)

However, if he wasn't gone by today, we would have to look at getting it removed. I was already set to call Animal Control, or Orkin, the local zoos, Ozzy Ozbourne, The Penguin, evil clowns, or even the Riddler. But according to the communique's I've recieved today, he's already dead. No homemade guano for this family. Drat the luck.


Daily Update 2 week Hall of Fame enshrinement:

A good friend of mine at work, John, was kind enough to recently purchase your writer a McRib sandwich (extra sauce, no pickles) for no reason other than to be friendly!! This, along with the good sense of humor he shares with yours truly has earned him temporary status as a Daily Update Hall of Flamer.

(hee hee hee. )

(subtle!)

To further cement his status, he provided us with the...

LINK OF THE WEEK!

http://www2.victoriassecret.com/html/popup/dylan/videoHigh.html

This makes the song of the day make SOOOO much more sense.

Miss USA

Miss Missouri, Shandi Finessey, has been crowned as Miss USA. Now available for mall opening near you!

I haven't had the oppurtunity to scroll through the delagates of each state, so I am willing to take nominations for your OWN Miss USA, and we'll announce The Daily Update MIss USA pagent in the coming week, based off of the candidates in the original MIss USA competition. Now, it's time for me to go home, so I could either publish what I have, or save it until tomorrow.

This would be a great segue into the Hometown Hotties, mind you. However, I am going to say "screw it" and print what I gots, and we'll go over more of it tomorrow.

Song of the Day:
Six and three is nine
Nine and nine is eighteen
Look there brother baby and see what I've seen
Hidehey
Baby don't you wanna go
Back to that same old place
Sweet home Chicago

This Day in History:

In 1742, Handel's "Messiah" is performed for the first time in public. The place? Dublin Ireland. Why that is important, I have no idea.

In 1743, Thomas Jefferson was born. Jefferson would later become an Ambassador to France (succeeding Benjamin Franklin, though HARDLY replacing him in the social circles of France, ifyouknowwhatImean). In addition, he also wrote one of the 2 most important documents in American history, The Declaration of Independance. (The other being Dr Suess' "Fox in Sox".) (No, not THAT. THIS! ) Later, he became the 3rd president of the United States, after serving as the vice-president to his advesary, John Adams. In fact, his Presidency was only won after his advesary Alexander Hamilton backed him rather than Aaron Burr. Hamilton liked neither man, but considered Jefferson the lesser of two evils. SO what happened between Hamilton and Aaron Burr? Consult your milk commercials for the answer to that one. Or check out this link. Whichever.

In 1943, Jefferson's bones were covered in liquid marble, set, and then propped up for all to see in Washington DC at the Jefferson Memorial. Ok, not quite. But the Jefferson Memorial WAS dedicated by FDR on this day in 1943.

In 1964, Sidney Poitier won an academy award for his work in the film "Lilies of the Field". He was the first black performer to win an Academy Award for a leading role. But I think we'll always know him as MIS-TER Tibbs.

In 1970, Apollo 13 learned jsut how unlucky the # 13 could be. Not only was their flight labelled 13, but on the 13th of April, a tank of liquid oxygen burst, spilling much of their breathable air out into the vacuum of space. Thanks to the tireless work of the NASA engineers, they were able to slingshot around the moon,and arrive home safely, saving the lives of James Lovell, Fred Haise, and John "Jack" Sweigert.


Shakespeare Quote of the Day:

His life was gentle, and the elements so mixed in him that Nature might stand up and say to all the world, this was a man"
Jul.Caesar, Act v, Sc.5

Word of the Day:

RELIEF

re·lief
n.
1.The easing of a burden or distress, such as pain, anxiety, or oppression.
2. Something that alleviates pain or distress.
3. The feeling one has after getting through an annual review no worse for wear.

Yesterday's Annual Review

As many of you well know, I was quite pensive yesterday afternoon. My yearly review was due, and I knew not what to expect going into it. I knew I had done well in some areas, and struggled mightily in others. Would my strengths outshine my weeknesses, or would my faults be the end of me? Nevermind the fact that my family's well-being, much less future happiness was riding on my present and future employment. Short and to the point....do I get to keep my job, or am I about to find out I'm fired and dash my hopes of moving to Oregon upon the rocky shores below? Would I have to sell my home to make ends meet, or would I be able to continue to live check to check as I have become accustomed?

30 minutes later, I emerged from the dank and dark interrigation room with my head held high, employment intact, and a newfound appreciation for my job. Even a little bit of satisfaction! While my statistics were horrible, my manager was able to see past them, and was able to determine my true worth to the company. Or at least, her view of my work was similar to mine. Not everything I do shows up in quatitative stats like # of calls taken, or Wrap time, or whatever. My manager likes my interaction with the clients for our company, my interaction with my co-workers, and my stress management skills, seeing as how I don't blow my top when I get angry. No no no...... I just write about it in an online column that she isn't aware of. Yet.

Of course, I am careful enough not to include too many details to cause problems for myself AT work. I simply use this forum (at times) for my own therapy. It's like a diary! ONly everyone can read it! My gaw......I'm an exhibitionist. I feel so....tingly! No! I feel...relief.

I am never sure about how my co-workers percieve me. They're just as likely to consider me an obnoxious jerk who can't shut his trap as they are to consider me an eloquent breath of fresh air who bemuses them with his stories and antics, while providing "World Class Service" to both internal and external clients.

I guess I still don't know that. However, in regards to my manager, I know exactly how I am viewed. And to know that she likes my work... well, no matter what you do, it's nice to know that your work is respected and appreciated.

Hollywood News:

Rebecca Romaijn has FINALLY woke up, read the Daily Update, and is seperating from John Stamos. John was so damned busy doing those10-989 (or whatever extension it was) commercials, that there was little time left for Rebecca. Seems like a misplaced sense of priorities, to me. Or maybe I'm just making up stuff. Who knows why they broke up, and to be perfectly honest, who cares?! Rebecca is back on the market!!





We here at the Daily Update are now taking reservations to dine at Chez Romaijn. Please take a seat and be ready when your # is called. Current # available: 5. (Daily Update Management has reserved the right to reserve the first 5 reservations ---mental note, next time use the thesaurus-- for it's own use. )



Aren't I good to my readers? Ok, don't answer that. I realize it's feast or famine. But when it's Feast.....boy, isn't he spread good?

It's also Ron Perlman's birthday today. Star of Hellboy, and many other films, he's always been one of my favorite actors. He makes his impact felt on the screen, even if he is often typecast int he neanderthal/grunt/muscle kind of roles.

Also sharing a birhtday today is Rick "Don't call me Ricky" Schroder. Being the equal oppurtunity people we are here at The Daily Update, here is a link to Rick.

SPORTS

The Twins have suffered some tough losses in personnel with the loss of Torii Hunter, Matt Lecroy, and Joe Mauer. Despite that, they still need to go out and play, and it doesn't feel like they are. The starting Pitching has been terrible, and I dont think one starter has made it past the 6th inning YET. See...that's what qualifies as a BAD sign. You can't blame the bullpen too much, considering the amount of work they've ahd to put in for the past week, with 3-4 games going to extra innings,and in all of the other games, they've had to stop the bleeding from the 5th inning on. That's just too much work for one bullpen in the early going.

Of course, it might help if we did some scoring of our own. Jaque Jones is a great player, but the man just can't stop himself from swinging at ANYTHING. Heck, it wouldn't surprise me to see him swing at a throw to first base. This has been a problem for him in the past, but this years seems to make it even worse. Put him on the bench, and remind him that this team needs singles and doubles as well as the home run. It's all well and good that he has 2 home runs for the year, but that pretty much accounts for his hit total for the year. Other than that, he's hanging around 0-for 30. That is bad.

And while we are at it, why oh why can't Christian Guzman bunt the ball into the ground, rather than @#&*% straight up?! He's one of the fastest men in baseball and could be a very dangerous weapon in bunting if only he would quit popping up every danged time he tries to bunt!

And now we have Terry Mulholland. Well, he's over 40, but seeing as how many of my readers are also at that age, it's important to point out that they are still viable contributors to society as a whole. When it comes to pitching however, the question of how much longer you CAN pitch is a constant looming question, hanging over your entire career. Now, I don't think that Terry will have that problem, but I'd hate to see the Twins have to use him in excess. Not a bad guy to have around though.

I think I've done as much as I can for this update. Time to start working on the next one.

Movie Quote of the Day:

Seeing as how I can't seem to get the "E-mail me @" feature to work, it won't be much of a competition. So I'll just tell you that it's from Major League.

Pedro Cerrano: Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straightball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, rum. He will come.
Eddie Harris: You know you might think about taking Jesus Christ as your savior instead of fooling around with all this stuff.
Jake Taylor: Harris.
Pedro Cerrano: Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball.
Eddie Harris: You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?

Song of the Day:

She's got a pair of eyes
That are brighter than the summer skies
When you see them you'll realize
Why I love my sweet Lorraine

Now when it's raining I don't miss the sun
Because it's in my baby's smile, hoh-hoh
And to think that I'm the lucky one
That will lead her down the aisle, hoh-hoh-oh-oh

Each night I pray
That no-one will steal her heart away


Shakespeare Quote of the Day:

"Courage and comfort, all shall yet go well"
King John, Act ii, Sc.4

I picked this one, since my Annual review is today. I do not look forward to this; I expect it to be most painful. But as long as I am employed at the end of the day, I am no worse for wear. How do I expect it to go?

My manager will say that I'm doing fine in all of the things that aren't measured, and horribly in the things that ARE recorded. I hate days like this. And the worst of it is that it's at the end of the day, leaving me to stew in my own nervous sweat until the fateful hour. It's the NOT KNOWING beforehand thats more painful than the actual torture itself. Which reminds me of a scene in The Return of the King:

Pippin: It's so quiet.
Gandalf: It's the deep breath before the plunge.
Pippin: I don't want to be in a battle. But waiting on the edge of one I can't escape is even worse.

Of course, the other way to look at it is that after today, it's an entire new year, giving myself a chacne to prove myself all over again. I have only to make it through the next hour or so, and emerge on the other side and it will be complete.

Did I do the writing I had promised? Yes. Yes I did. However, I did NOT remember to bring it with me this morning. very looooong update coming tomorrow, my friends. My opologies.

Oy, what a week.

from trying to get the home system back up to working late at the second job, to going through Networking Fundamentals training, to dealing with a punk kid picking on my daugher at school....I'm ready for a beer or something.

School Days

There's a little SOB that has some personality conflict with my daughet. He's hit her and picked on her and threatened her in the past. Enough that they sat down with the vice-principal in order to straighten things out, and they adopted the "just stay away from each other" policy. Well, that obviously was too hard to carry out. And it's a little hard to do when you are in the same classroom. At some point, they're going to interact. And every time they do, she comes home crying. She's making up excuses to avoid going to school, because she's scared of what he might do.

Well, we finally had enough, so we called the school and asked them what they're going to do about it. turns out that the vice principal wasn't documenting anything. SO now they have it in writing that they're going to avoid each other,a nd only say nice things if they're going to talk to each other.

It's not going to work.

I ahven't told her that, but It's not going to work. I've been where she is. I know that she's scared to tell us what is going on, because that only makes the bullies angrier that they're in trouble for picking on you in the first place. But if this little dip-sh*t does it again, we've been instructed by a Police liason officer from a Junior High that we should contact 9-1-1 right away. Almost makes me want the kid to try something, if it didn't mean putting my daughter through so much anguish.

Little Bastard.

And it isn't stuff like "I-like-you-but-can't-express-it-so-I'll-hit you-instead" type stuff. It's "I'll kill you" or "I'm gonna trip you during recess", or I'm gonna pull your socket (wtf?) out".

I'm tempted to slip a 6th grader a $20 bill to take care of the problem for me, but I'll stay civil.

If she is so scared of this guy, there isn't a chance in hell she'll be able to concentrate on her studies. But we ARE going to get this solved, because I'm nt having her go through that like I did. At least she was brave enough to tell us. I wasn't. I jst kept it inside for forever, and it didn't get any better for me until I moved.

The good-ness

It's back again! Just in time for Easter! Celebrate the life death and re-birth of your lord and savior with a sandwich that reminds you of his suffering during his last hours! The McRib!



I know how many of you feel about this concoction. Many feel that it is an abomination, better suited as prison food, given to only the most cruel offenders as a reminder of the sort of cruelty they inflicted upon their victims.

For me, it is a reminder that there are good things in the world, even if they are things that you would be sick of if you had them all of the time. Indeed, as time passes, the cooks at McDonald's become less inspired, and the quality of the Mcrib sandwich suffers. However, when they are first presented....magnifique!

It's proved to be a small bright spot in an otherwise busy week. My respite from the rest of the world. But none of those DAMN pickles! WHat in the hell are they there for, anyway? Onions, I understand. But pickles? This will NOT do.

The port is pressed into a shape that is to resemble ribs, but it's best to really look at the food you are eating. Just enjoy the taste, and hope to god it's slathered in bar-b-que sauce. that's when it's best. In fact, the next time I give in to my base instincts, I shall request extra sauce.

Taunting! 15 yards, still 1st down

Quick note to Dad in WA: Upon return from Arizona, the wife stopped in Fargo. While in Fargo, she stopped at a Hornbachers, and picked up another familiar vice: Mexican Village Hot Sauce. I have yet to find any company who can re-create or match it in flavor, consistancy, and all-around greatness. The memories come flooding back, simply looking at the small plastic tub, and we had a grand celebration of "Taco Night" last night to properly welcome the hot sauce as it should be accustomed to.

Neener Neener.

I would admit that Mexican villiage probably is not the best of Mexican resteraunts taht can be found out there. However, it's the first thing I think of when I think of Mexican food. it's the starting point for all others to be compared to. there have been better resteraunts, but never another first, and I still ahve yet to find BETTER hot sauce than what they provided.

Time is running short today, so we better get straight to.....

Hometown Hotties, week 5

At this point, I am about ready to simply give up on it. If Erica of FL cannot make the final 10 (as she did not this past week), then what kind of contest is it, hmmmm?

Anyway, we've got to look at his week's bunch, and they look better than last week's.

Either I've lost my passion for it, or I've become more selective in my choices. This week was better than last, but I've learned not to bother wasting time with ones I know I'm going to eliminate at some point.

So this week, we have 15 to pare down to 10 total.

Kimberly of CA, Crystal of OH, Miss B of CO (who is destined to be cut, because of the name alone), Agnes of Il (how many people are named Agnes naymore?), Nikki of MA, Tosca of SC, Jessica of CA, Diana of VA, Sheena WA, Ashley of GA, Karen of TN, Shae of CA, Amber of WA, Melissa of FL, Roxann of TX, and Jenel of Co.

As mentioned already, Miss B is disqualified for being too cute with the name, cuteness of body notwithstanding.

Crystal of OH and Agnes of IL are in like Errol Flynn, a known ladies man himself. Nikki of MA is cute in a Tara Reid way, but there is just something that bothers me. Out she goes. Tosca of SC went for the Ms. Spears thing, and it's more annoying than anything. Gone she is. Jessica of Ca isn't going anywhere. Nor is Diana of Va, though how did Sheena get in there? gone!

In looking through the rest, Jenel of CO and Ashley of GA are pretty, but also annoying. Argh. This update is sucking major time. Maybe we'll be better next week, when I can devote more time.

So we have Roxann of TX, Melissa of Fl, Amber of WA, Shae of CA, Karen of TN, Diana of VA, Jessica of CA, Agnes of Il Crystal of OH and Kimberly of CA.

I'm gonna go home and write,and come up with something better for Monday. And then we'll see how good an update can be.